A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

[Throwaway667]

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

[bumblingbovine49]

Ring the shop.and ask them to put what you need in bags. Pay them over the phone with a card and just go and pick it up. I am sure some. Local shops will be ok with this sometimes

[Innitogether]

I do agree that your title is misleading, but you are right that it discriminates, indirectly, single parents with no other support. I don’t have children by choice, but I do think some of the comments from parents on this thread are quite unsympathetic. You must be so stressed already, and now to have to navigate how and where you can get basic supplies must be adding to the stress enormously.

Is there anyone at all who could do a shop for you and you pay the money directly into their account. And maybe try and go out for a walk with ds?

I hope you find a solution x

[mindproject]

I never shop at Nisa or Co-op anyway as they are grim and overpriced. Are any of the main supermarkets doing this?

[OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow]

For people saying it isn't discrimination - isn't age a protected characteristic
Age is different to others. There is discrimination very much allowed if justified and proportionate.

[sanmiguel]

Hi OP. Most supermarkets are only allowing one person, one trolley. No one wants their child out unnecessarily in this. It's unsettling at best and if your child's vulnerable, even more reason to stay home. I'd suggest buying online the things you'd rather not ask someone else to shop for. All that kind of stuff is readily available on Amazon etc. Then rely on neighbours/ volunteers for the other shopping.

I can't leave the house and have been home for 11 days now. There are many many other people in your position, maybe not single parents but for dozens of other reasons are reliant on help from others. You've just got to suck it up for now. We'd all prefer to be out there freely doing our own shopping but in the nicest possible way... stay home!

[tempester28]

I think having been shopping the other day and horrified at the number of people I think it really isn't right to take children in. However you need s solution. Can grandparents or other parent drop your shopping off to you at the front door? Could grandparents /friend drive to the supermarket and park next your car and watch your child from their car. Could you leave wattsapp app facetime open in the car so grandparents/friend can keep chatting with them while you are in the shop. Obviously this probably sounds rediculous!

Or contact supermarket see if they can suggest a solution

[GatoradeMeBitch]

It goes to show how much of what our society decides is right/wrong is just arbitrary...

Two months ago - "Leave your child at home? I hope someone calls social services on you, you're not fit to raise a child!"

Today - "Bring your child into a shop where they might touch things? We don't care you have no support. Just leave them at home alone and keep us all safe. You're such an irresponsible citizen!"

[mindproject]

The child can just sit in the trolley and then there is no problem or risk to others. Surely this is the most sensible solution.

[ememem84]

All shops here have implemented this policy. Waitrose M&S Iceland coop Morrison’s and all locally owned shops.

[DuchenneParent]

I'm confused by the people saying they are at risk but have popped out for this and that... Our family have been told we can't go out at all for 12 weeks because of our immunosuppressed child. Is that not the same for others who are at risk, or is this an at risk vs. very at risk thing?
I don't want to come across as smug or dismissive, really I'm not, we're doing it ourselves and it's shit, but there are a lot of families not able to leave their homes at all who are having to manage using the community support groups and constantly having to check for online delivery slots. I would say that if there are really no local shops you can go to then you would need to make use of these methods as well.
Considering whole groups of society have been told that they can't leave their homes I have the impression that the equalities act (though really important) is being temporarily overlooked for reasons of disease control because we are in an emergency situation.

[Wewearpinkonwednesdays]

I see social distancing means we can throw all common sense and child safety out the window. Just leave the kids at home alone for a couple of hours, or outside the shop, or in the car while you go in OP. What's the worst that could happen 😂🤦‍♀️ moronic.

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Isn't it ironic that if you posted a few ago that you want to leave your child for 5 minutes , you would've been inundated with replies about how irresponsible that is, for hat a terrible mother you are,threats if SS and self righteous dicks that don't leave their kids even to pee.


Now it's all leave your kids in the car,outside,at home,in the care of a 7yo etc.


The policy might not name single parents specifically but it's not rocket science to figure out that this is the group mostly affected,and by the nature of it women in particular.

The "I'm alright Jack" attitudes have increased under the guise of we're all in this together and the greater good. No we fucking aren't and you're not as covert as you think.

[slipperywhensparticus]

I have a child with special needs he is on high rate dla they dont give you that if you can be left in the car for an hour or so

[blue25]

I understand this, as children have been running around, touching everything in our local supermarket. Surely you know someone who can shop for you?

[LastTrainEast]

Have banned children OR told one of a couple to wait outside with the kids? There's a huge difference and people are reporting one as the other.

[KrisAkabusi]

I had some sympathy at the start, but the OP is making things difficult for herself.

It is perfectly sensible for shops to ban children to attempt to slow the spread of this disease.
Most areas, or the shops themselves, have set up volunteer groups or neighborhood organisations to shop for those who are affected by this.
However the OP is refusing to use these over the embarrassment of asking someone to buy feminine hygiene products.
That is being unreasonable.

[needsahouseboy]

I raised this question on a single parent group. I'm okay now as child is 10 but if this had happened when he was younger I'd have been screwed. He has not contact with his pathetic father.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

How about these rules instead

i) if a family with more than one adult turns up, unless there is disability/SN that makes it impractical, the children remain outside with one of the adults and the other adult shops

ii) if there is one adult with children then the children need to remain with the adult during the shop or the family will be asked to leave

[NotMeNoNo]

has someone actually been physically turned away here even after explaining they were a single parent with no other options? or is it just an assumption that shops won't be flexible.

[Wewearpinkonwednesdays]

Usually any parent that contemplated any of that would have had shrieks of "unfit parent" and "I hope someone calls social services".
Around three weeks ago you couldn't leave your toddler strapped in a car seat in the car while you walked 20 feet to the school gates, because who know what disaster could happen. I fucking dispair!

[SeperatedSwans]

But what if you have no volunteer group operating in the area? What do we do then?

Because funny enough, nobody wants to volunteer in a estate where people are stabbed on a weekly basis, county line drugs gangs have taken over and violence is rife.

Do we just starve?

[TeaThings]

Its hard to see how little sympathy there is for single parents from some people. My DC dad is refusing to see his own DC until this is over. My neighbours are having brought trouble getting there own shopping, let alone get extra for me.

People seem to find it incredible that single parents have no support, but it’s true for some.

[Moominmammaatsea]

I’m totally flummoxed and dreading being banned from our nearest supermarket. I’m a totally lone parent (both my children are adopted) and I have a preteen and a four-year-old. My eldest child is registered blind, having lost the majority of her sight a year ago. I could leave her alone for a short time to leg it to the shop and back, but there’s no way I could (safely) leave her responsible for her four-year-old sister.

The supermarket is currently restricting shoppers to one of each item, so if I ask neighbours to collect shopping for me, then potentially I am limiting the food rations for their families. My children’s one set of grandparents are very elderly and in the vulnerable/at risk group so they are relying on us to pick up bits and pieces for them.

Suggestions please!

[NotMeNoNo]

our council now has a helpline for people with no other options I think to match up with a more formal volunteer scheme.

[Innitogether]

As for the trite “get an online shop” have you not seen the queues for slots, no delivery dates for weeks or minimum basket prices that some people can’t afford? On top of that, people who have had a delivery booked are now getting 30 minutes notice to say their order has been cancelled.

Allowing one adult with one child into a store is not unreasonable.