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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A local shop is refusing entry to single parents

619 replies

Throwaway667 · 28/03/2020 09:58

I feel completely enraged by this. With delivery and collection slots now going to the vulnerable (as they should) it’s becoming more difficult to buy essential shopping as it is.
To remove access to essential goods based on the person having a dependant they can’t leave at home is upsetting imo.
Surely this is discrimination?

OP posts:
alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 10:48

Yes this is tough. I suspect it has been brought in because too many people were not following the rules and letting their kids run about.
Will they let you in if you put your DC in the trolley?

Babyroobs · 28/03/2020 10:48

Some supermarkets are delivering basic food options without needing a delivery slot I think, maybe something like that could help? I had to brave the shops this morning, most small stores were just allowing 2 people in at a time with everyone else queuing outside. I guess with young kids in tow that number will be breached and also it's hard to keep them from keeping to the distancing guidelines. I know supermarkets are stretched but maybe a staff member could bring out basics to someone but then there's the problem of paying. Lots of places are saying they wont even take cash now due to the risk and want everyone to pay by contactless card.

category12 · 28/03/2020 10:49

Surely there are volunteers in the area you could call on?

Standrewsschool · 28/03/2020 10:50

Mid-leading title op. The shop is preventing children entering the shop, not single parents,unless they blatantly asked for you marital status on entering.

A lot of supermarkets are doing this also.

KenDodd · 28/03/2020 10:50

This country really has shown how little they think about children and how they're coping with this.

With regard shopping, some single parents will have no way to get food without taking children to the shop with them.

Marieo · 28/03/2020 10:50

Many people don't have symptoms though. So no. It's not safer just because you are not showing symptoms

But that's the same for each and every person who is out and about, so it's just as safe as anyone volunteering or anything.

Marieo · 28/03/2020 10:51

It's safer than family members going out who have been told to stay indoors.

AWintersBall · 28/03/2020 10:53

Something can be discrimination in the common usage sense, without falling under the terms of the Equalities Act ffs. As in, a class of persons being treated in a less favourable way. The pointless pedantry on here is ridiculous.

I do think it not letting children in shops as a blanket policy is appalling. Requesting that it be avoided where possible is fine. Requiring everyone in the shop to adhere to distancing is fine. Counting children in the overall head count is fine. Banning them completely is not.

In any event hasn't the data shown that the virus is less transmissible from child to adult? There was advice for teachers working in the hub schools saying take more extreme precautions with other staff than with pupils.

AvoidingRealHumans · 28/03/2020 10:54

Single parent to 2 kids, if this comes into full force I don't see how I would be able to shop. I could possibly leave the older one at home but definitely not my youngest.
I have absolutely no one to help and this would go against the distancing rules anyway.
I avoid at all costs taking mine to the supermarket usually but its unavoidable in this situation. I really hope this doesn't become the norm for all supermarkets.

runrabbitrunrunrun · 28/03/2020 10:55

There’s local charities now set up in most areas and people will do your shopping for you.

PinkiOcelot · 28/03/2020 10:55

Some of the suggested “solutions” on this thread are absolutely ridiculous.
Leaving a 4 year old in the car while you do a quick shop?! Get a grip!! No such thing as a quick shop anyway. You have to queue to get in the do social distancing.

alloutoffucks · 28/03/2020 10:55

@KenDodd That is such a stupid comment when you still have very vulnerable and frail people forced to go out to shop. The truth is that single parents can go into local shops. No you won't get a great selection, but you won't starve either.

Ragwort · 28/03/2020 10:56

Can you give your list to a member of the shop staff & they can select items for you?

Are you sure there is no neighbourhood scheme? I shopped yesterday for an elderly couple, a self isolated friend and my own family (one shopping trip), no difficulty experienced.

Isadora2007 · 28/03/2020 10:57

@Throwaway667 I don’t understand what you want? If you’ve been indoors and have a high needs child then how is going to the shops WITH him any less risky than getting a third party to deliver?

LotsaDo · 28/03/2020 10:57

And where is the kindess? I know everyone is rightly anxious, but it's starting to look like we'll come out of this a meaner nation.

Absolutely. I'm staggered by so many of the posts and attitudes I've seen over the last week. It's disgraceful and people should be ashamed. I hope you find a solution OP.

heartsonacake · 28/03/2020 10:57

YABU. It’s not discrimination and they’re not refusing access to single parents; you’re being intentionally misleading there. They’re just saying no kids.

Oldbutstillgotit · 28/03/2020 10:58

Most communities have set up support groups . Can you check ? I have joined one and have just done some shopping for a very elderly lady

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 28/03/2020 10:58

As others have said, I think it's because of the children and the fact that a lot of the parents do NOT control them when they are in the shop.

I'm high risk due to medical issues and had to pop into my local Tesco Metro (30 min walk) as needed some essentials as currently self isolating alone from my DP who is an essential worker.

At least 4 adults with young kids in the small store and not ONE of them were controlling them. Not ONE of them was holding their hands.

I had 2 kids standing right next to me several times, like RIGHT next to me. Told the parent that they needed to keep their kids 2 metres away from everyone else and was called a "c**t".

So if I get ill it's because of those stupid parents.

So this is why shops now no longer want young kids in their stores. Parents are not controlling them and let them round around.

So don't blame the shops, blame the parents and children who are not giving a fuck about the isolation requirements.

LastTrainEast · 28/03/2020 10:59

Throwaway667 ask them to help you find a way. A local shop will probably be able to bring a shopping bag outside for you or something.

DivGirl · 28/03/2020 10:59

For people saying it isn't discrimination - isn't age a protected characteristic?

I'm a single parent to a 2 year old. No family within an hour's drive, no friends nearby, no idea who my neighbours are. I'd advise staying up until midnight to try and get a delivery slot. There will be no prizes for starving to death, and if children aren't allowed in shops you have been made vulnerable by the policy.

KatharinaRosalie · 28/03/2020 11:00

If you have neighbours, you can ask their help in bringing you some shopping. You can't ask them to babysit, that's the entire point of lockdown, that you keep away from other people.

DivGirl · 28/03/2020 11:00

And for what it's worth, I don't go in to shops unless he's restrained in some way (buggy or trolley) - he's too much of a liability otherwise.

LastTrainEast · 28/03/2020 11:00

Does anyone know of actual named shops that are doing this anyway? I keep hearing stories, but the only ones that name the shop that I can see are the ones where whole families turn up and they ask that one parent waits outside with the kids.

LotsaDo · 28/03/2020 11:01

Something can be discrimination in the common usage sense, without falling under the terms of the Equalities Act ffs. As in, a class of persons being treated in a less favourable way. The pointless pedantry on here is ridiculous.

It's also interesting that it's something that will disproportionately affect women, at the very lease it makes it indirectly discriminatory.

SeperatedSwans · 28/03/2020 11:01

It's ok, us lone parents where stabbings happen, drug gangs are rife and there are no volunteer groups we will just starve.

It's ok, nothing like a bit of social cleansing during a pandemic is there 🙄

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