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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to despair

40 replies

JohnGriffin · 08/09/2007 12:10

We are locals in a remote area currently being inundated (and 'sanitized') with new-builds for retired people, wealthy foreigners and second home owners. They have their uses but we are all paying the price in the end.
Today, on a rare brilliant morning, riding out with my 9 year old son along a narrow, remote country lane, we were met head on, by a elderly man, obviously enjoying his freedom, in a vast shiny 4 x 4, going like stink, radio blaring, who, with screeching tyres, only just managed to swerve into a hedge to avoid spreading us, in a bloody mess, across the road. We,and our ponies, we were left, fortunately, only very badly shaken.
Could I have expected at least an apology rather than a simple shrug of the shoulders and a vague gesture of the 'c'est la vie' type? He didn't speak our language, or us his.
He drove on, radio still blaring. We led our ponies home.
We're all road users - some to drive, some to walk, cycle or ride. Vehicles are noisy, intrusive, dangerous, pollutants - who/what the fck are their drivers?
I?m so bloody angry, resentful, scared, ?and vengeful. Are we all so totally self absorbed and deluded that the world is ours to do with as we like or want? Just another trivial incident to him in the great scheme of things, probably already forgotten ? but almost certainly a fatal blow to all our future riding/cycling out. I could cry with frustration at the pointless, thoughtless stupidity - and hopelessness - of it all.
Should I have screamed - 'F
ck off back to where you came from you brainless shite' - in the language of his registration plate or simply ended it with a single shot from the revolver I perhaps should have been carrying? - Or report it to the fat disinterested local policeman when he returns from his latest course next week and who will want to tell me how difficult it is to trace the actual driver of a foreign registered vehicle and institute protracted, costly proceedings (if there is considered sufficient evidence) for what is merely a 'near miss' - no harm done - incident.
Rant over......for now

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 10:12

I totally agree with the OP, i live in a town, not in the middle of the sticks though. My home town is basically being overtaken by "invaders" from the big smoke, with rather high opinions of themselves as they have cashed in on the high property prices to boy themselves a home in a "better place to bring up their children". Yeah well, great, thats fine, at first i was rather flattered that everyone (the world and his wife) thinks that my "quaint" little fishing town (im giving this away arent i) is a good place to bring up children, it is!! So they want to bring their money with them, fantastic, great. No really, most of us "locals" welcome that, the town is prospering. Thats all good. My DP has had much work from the invaders (meant in good humour)as he is a carpenter. So, no complaints from me.

What is not good is this: generally, local people with local jobs are priced out of the housing market, prices equivalent to London almost. Well i suppose that is bound to happen, not entirely thier faults.

What i seriously object to is this: The condescending and patronising attituedes of some ofthese people. OK so mostly these "invaders" are middle class and affluent. So more likely to attend M&T sessions? maybe, because i go to several and i feel like an outsider. These people do not want to integrate into our community, they sit in their own little cliques, berating the bloody town they have chosen to descend upon in their droves. I mean, i have even seen an advert in a local shop for "get togethers of like minded people who have moved down here". One of my partners clients actually said to him, of an extremely popular school, with very high standards "Oh, these schools around here, all the PTA wanted to do was sit around having coffee mornings, now we have arrived we certainly intend to shake things up a bit" .

Now we have threats of development of our harbour (totally giving the game away now!) at the cost of many LOCAL jobs. To be fair i dont even think these plans were popular with our visitors.

I remember one evening last week taking my DD for a walk along the beach where a group of people in a rented holiday home were having a party. Great fun it looked too. My DD (aged 2) has rythm in her soul it seems and cannot help but dance if she hears music. So, she hears the music and stands outside their gate boogying away. Very cute indeed, so i stands and watches, big grin on my face, DP who is half way down the beach with our little dog grinning too. What do we get, two idiots standing there staring at me as if to say, this is a private party piss off - and then actually one of them, hiding behind a tree has the audacity to shout out "step away from the car" Yes, their oldish indiscriminate sports car was parked outside the garden (not somewhere i would have chosen to park it if i were nervous about the thing - lots of children riding by on bikes, scooters etc, and lets face it they cant exactly steer). So basically these people found my two year old a threat? I just carried on letting her dance - So do you know what they did, they turned the music off!!!! OMG!!! bloody idiots.

So it is rather the attitudes of the non-locals that annoy people rather than their presence. It is important, i feel to try and integrate into existing communities rather than try and make them your own. That way, i think people would find us yokels a lot more welcoming.

LoveAngel · 09/09/2007 10:16

Glad I live in London!

LoveAngel · 09/09/2007 10:17

(on so many levels!)

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 10:20

I think london is a great place, wouldnt want to live there though, there are just too many, um, how can i put this without sounding rude, people

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 10:23

I do have to say though, i think everyone is capable of being an idiot driver, irrespective of where they come from. I love horse riding, but hate riding on the roads.

hippipotami · 09/09/2007 10:28

Whilst I agree with the essence of the OP's complaint (driver not taking care on lane, scaring horse and rider), the expressions used makes me think 'inbread yokel' and thus not sympathetic to her cause.

Lucyellens mum - I can see why you are upset and if I were you I would be too. Dh and I often think of moving away from suburban Surrey but are terrified of not being accepted by the locals. So we stay put for now.
But for me, the idea of moving away would be to integrate into a community, not to change it (if you wish to change it, why bother choosing it in the first place)

Anna8888 · 09/09/2007 11:08

lucy - I think I've guessed where you live - I was there for lunch at that restaurant about 3 weeks ago...

Lovely town, but yes, it has become a sort of Boden fantasyland.

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 11:20

yes anna, and that just isnt real is it

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 11:22

hip - it is my dream to move to cornwall or devon one day, but i dont want to be an infiltrator either. I fear i would not be welcome

Anna8888 · 09/09/2007 11:27

lucy - I love your town - my sister and I, who both live abroad, often take our families for a day out there when we are staying with our parents (in a Wealden hamlet, about 1 hour away from you by car). And I love where my parents live even more as there are still proper farms with three or four generations working them... but for how much longer? My great-grandparents lived in the Weald, so I think we all count as locals - certainly we know all the lanes, walks and back roads by heart

I really sympathise with you.

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 13:32

I love my town, ive lived here all my life and would never really want to leave. I live in the next road to where i grew up, i'm not very cosmopolitan am i

Bouncingturtle · 09/09/2007 13:40

I don't think you have to travel or live in different places to become cosmopolitan, just a understanding of how the world works and being open to new ideas is all that's really needed - for example, you talk to women and men all over the country on Mumsnet - there's even quite a few overseas posters! Plus there are all different types of people who use mumsnets, different races, creeds, sexual preferences, marital status etc.

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 13:44

yay - i am a virtual globetrotterthen

lucyellensmum · 09/09/2007 13:45

so excited was i by this revalation that i lost the ability to hit the space bar!

Bouncingturtle · 09/09/2007 13:49

ROFL!!
I do sympathise with you btw and was on your half at how rude those people were to you and your lo. I just think the OP is coming across as a bit of an ass...

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