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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Almost 17 month old not talking yet

59 replies

CathyandHeathcliff · 21/02/2020 20:46

I’m a bit concerned as my 17 month old is still not saying words.
He says “Daddy” and “No” when shaking his head. He’s started doing the “ssss” sound for snake as we do it when reading the gruffalo and pointing out the snake.
He understands mostly everything we say to him, he points to his body parts when asked and can follow instructions without a problem.
His spoken vocab is severely lacking and I have to admit it’s starting to worry me.
He does babble an awful lot though and I think he believes he’s talking properly.
Apparently by the time they’re 18 months they should be able to speak more than 10 words.

OP posts:

Thefaceofboe · 21/02/2020 21:23

Sorry posted too soon, and didn’t mean the ?. I work in childcare and this is normal, most babies don’t start talking till they’re around 2 and it’s not classed as a concern till they are 3. So don’t worry

Daftodil · 21/02/2020 21:23

Try not to worry. Plenty of children this age don't talk. I know "try not to worry" is easier said than done, but every mother worries that their child isn't doing X Y or Z when they should/compared to other children. But the fact is that everyone develops at different rates and to my knowledge there is no direct correlation between vocabulary at 18 months and future success in life.

museumum · 21/02/2020 21:25

My ds has about 5 words on his second birthday. Three months later he was talking clearly in sentences more words than I could ever count.
As long as he’s understanding and babbling I would not worry at all.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 21/02/2020 21:25

The fact that my 18 month old DD is now stringing words together has me shock.

I remember reading something once that said that parents who have a boy first and then a girl often think the girl is unusually gifted and parents with DC the other way round often think the boy is delayed. I know it's not true 100% of the time but I've been really surprised by how notably more advanced the speech of the little girls I know is compared to the boys - I thought it would be a very small, marginal thing.

Sewinginscotland · 21/02/2020 21:35

My 16.5mo DS sounds very similar. He has dada and nana 🍌. He occasionally treats us to 'dat' 🐈 and the newest one is 'cwap' (hopefully clap, that is his favourite thing to do).

I swear he understands everything, he just chooses to ignore us a lot. There isn't any problem with comprehension anyway. He babbles away all the time, nursery say they have seen this with loads of kids - they babble away, and then have a language explosion.

SallyWD · 21/02/2020 21:40

My DH didn't speak until he was 3. He's now a professor and fluent in several languages. I really wouldn't worry at 17 months. I think my DS only said a couple of words at that age.

We3kingsoforientareandabump · 21/02/2020 22:07

My 4th son is nearly 19 months. He can say mam, dad and boo (boob/milk). He understands loads. It's never crossed my mind to be concerned tbh. You get so obsessed by all the things they 'should' be doing when it's your first i know I was the same but honestly they do things in their own time.

funinthesun19 · 21/02/2020 22:23

Stealth boast that he understands everything? 17 months is FAR too early to worry.

Why on earth is that a stealth boast?
The op is concerned about her child being behind so clearly not a stealth boast
She’s just pointing out her child’s strengths and abilities and stating facts. Something a health visitor would want to know if she described her child to them!

Op, my dd is almost 17 months too. She understands more than what she can actually say. She can say about 4 words but definitely understands more than that.
Oops, am I bragging? 🤭

JustBecauseItWorkedForYou · 21/02/2020 22:33

My ds was 3 before he spoke. My dd speaks whole sentences and she's only 23m. My dn speaks a few words but understands instructions..
It varies from child to child. I wouldn't worry I remember with ds being worried that 'everyone else's kids' spoke better than him..
He just did it in his own time.

Purpletigers · 21/02/2020 22:52

My youngest hardly spoke until he was three , hasn’t shut up since . I wouldn’t worry just yet but keep an eye on it and seek help if you’re still concerned when he’s older .

stickerqueen · 21/02/2020 22:59

17 months I wouldn't worry he's still little.
my 2.7year old is still not talking he's only recently started babbling.

After ds 2 year check he was referred to speech therapy he's had 2 assessments with them now and will start speech therapy sessions soon. But I'm not worried still because dd was a late talker too.

haveuheard · 21/02/2020 23:01

Sounds like what he is doing is exactly as is expected for his age. Please don't compare your baby to others and worry, there is a fairly large range of normal when they are tiny.

My eldest skipped the babbling part, could say a few words at 2 but no more than one at a time, he had speech therapy and used Makaton, by age 5 he was assessed as having better than expected speech. However he walked at 10 months - he didn't see the point of talking when he could do something himself and whatever the experts said, couldn't be tricked into talking when he didn't want to.

Youngest one did babble, and spoke earlier and his 'first word' was actually 2 words. But he didn't walk until 14 months and was just a more chatty chilled out baby. He also didn't nap and needed a minor op before his 3rd birthday, so was a worry in a completely different way.

They are all individuals, don't worry. However if you are concerned (and being told not to worry is, when you are worrying, the most patronising thing)... do some reading on supporting early speech. And use Makaton.

Ohyesiam · 21/02/2020 23:02

Dd could speak fluently by 2, ds could only say no and tractor. He’s now 12 and never shuts up.

GlamGiraffe · 21/02/2020 23:03

Do you think your DS can hear properly?
If there isnt a concern and you are sure he is understanding well make sure you speak to him lots. Do one to one speaking games in a quiet room rather than having tv on. Try to use correct speech modelling that your son can copy and learn from. Play copy and ryhming games as these all help.
Hopefully the word explosion us just around the corner ...then that dreaded word will haunt you for the next 5 years.... "WHY?"

notthe1Parrot · 21/02/2020 23:04

More than 50 years ago, the benchmark was three words at 15 months. He is now 54 and never stops talking.

Rangoon · 21/02/2020 23:08

I listened to similarly reassuring comments and I so much wish I hadn't. Everything might be absolutely fine with your son. My son though was largely lipreading although he could hear a bit. The GP completely missed it. The ENT specialist told us that the very first thing to suspect with slow speech is a hearing problem. Try standing behind him so he can't see you and offer him some treat you know he'll respond to and see if he reacts. Even if a child responds to speech, they may hear well enough to understand but not so well that they can easily learn how to say the sounds.

WhitePhantom · 21/02/2020 23:18

Ds1 didn't start talking till he was 2.5. Then he chatted all the time. Now he's 18 and has gone back to saying nothing 😅

Bleublue · 21/02/2020 23:21

Remember speech and language covers so much.

Speech is only a part of it. His language skills are developing to such an extent that he understands you. The speech will come

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 23:23

@CathyandHeathcliff

Don't worry. Boys are always a little further behind girls. My DD started yakking at 10-11 months old, and I haven't been able to shut her up since! And DS didn't say much til he was 2, then it was ba ba ba.. No real sentences til he was 3.

They are both successful university graduates now. Both bright and clever and academic. (Stealth brag sorry not sorry...)

Don't worry! Perfectly normal that your boy is not chatting at 17 months old!

Bleublue · 21/02/2020 23:24

Btw I have two children both boys. My elder DS is 5.5 and wasn’t a great speaker until he was 2.5 and suddenly couldn’t stop talking for love nor money. Seems like he just did it overnight.

My younger ds is 20 months and understand instructions with more than one part...”get your shoes and bring them to me and then get your coat” he’ll follow that no bother but still just babbles and repeats words.

They all get there in the end

anotherlittlechicken · 21/02/2020 23:24

I mean boys are a little further behind girls as children. Just as bright and successful, but usually take a bit longer to catch up.

Forgivenandsetfree · 22/02/2020 00:01

@MustStopSnacking28 22 months and says 25 words and you're worried?
Either your friend is setting the bar way way way to high or you're stealth bragging here. Absolutely don't go to the GP and waste his time!

tallah · 22/02/2020 08:13

@BlueVeins the there is not a hint of stealth boasting tone in her post! It must be horrible being so negative! Hope you're ok!

Camomila · 22/02/2020 08:26

DS said about 10-15 words at 18m, the dr (we were there for another reason) said he was doing really well and they'd expect mummy/daddy plus one or two others at that age so it sounds like you DC is right where they should be.

I understand the worry though, DS1 didn't walk till 15m and almost all his friends were walking by the time they were one and I used to worry too.

MustStopSnacking28 · 22/02/2020 09:16

@Forgivenandsetfree not stealth bragging whatsoever - she said they should be saying around 50-100 words by now. It is her job but understand where you’re coming from as well.

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