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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden pond and new baby

71 replies

pondwoman · 01/02/2020 17:40

I moved into a new house last year. There’s a large pond in the back garden (about six feet wide by four feet deep) which I loved when we bought the place, despite the fact that it does need a lot of TLC and I have no clue how to look after it!

However, I’m now pregnant with my first child, due this spring, and am wondering what to do about the pond.

I’m really loathe to remove it, mainly due to the frogs that use it in the summer. I know ponds are very valuable to wildlife, especially as we live in a city. On the other hand, I’m nervous about the danger it could pose to my child once they start walking and playing in the garden, especially as it’s so deep. Obviously that won’t be for a while yet but I’m just thinking ahead.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Barbthebuilder · 01/02/2020 18:15

We had this, moved into a new house when DS1 was 3 and DS2 nearly one. We had a grid put in the pond so it sat about 2cm below the water. It didn't spoil the look of it and the gazillions of frogs and toads could still get in and out.
Just as well. As soon as DS2 could walk, he fell in the pond. Even when I was watching him, he's sneak off like lightening to see the fish and bam, there he was in the pond. Or more correctly, on the pond. He fell on the pond regularly for the next few years. Visiting friends would be amazed at how coolly I would just hoik him out again but he was always doing it, and the worst thing that happened was a wet bum.

AdultHumanFemale · 01/02/2020 18:17

We have a pond of a similar size, DP dug it for wildlife purposes prior to DC.
When I got pregnant, we got a blacksmith to make an ornate iron grid, beautifully wrought in natural shapes, to sit at surface level to prevent a child from falling in, but enabling access for wildlife and plants. I got the idea from the pond at school, much bigger, but similarly covered on the advice of the local authority health and safety officer for schools. So pretty safe. Ours cost a couple of hundred, but has lasted over a decade. Our pond has given the DC so much pleasure through the seasons over the years, and they have learnt so much. Look into making it safe before getting rid, it is a valuable natural habitat.

raisinseverywhere · 01/02/2020 18:18

We had a pond. Didn’t fence it off as that would never be safe as the dc got older. We had a heavy duty metal grid fixed over the top which had a hinge and could unscrew to access the pond to clean it out etc. Very safe.

leckford · 01/02/2020 18:19

So destroy a wildlife habitat for a child when it can be fenced off?

Usingmyindoorvoice · 01/02/2020 18:23

You can manage a pond with small children, but it is stressful! Especially when you have people visiting with their own small children.
Invest in a really good purpose made grid and consider fencing too, but sometimes the fence can be a bit if an attraction in its own right.

MrsApplepants · 01/02/2020 18:23

I’d go for the safest option and fill the pond in. Plenty of time for enjoying ponds when they are older

Lunafortheloveogod · 01/02/2020 18:24

Get a good sturdy grid fitted and a fence.. the fence won’t be great when they’re older but if it’s high/awkward enough it’ll stop a smaller toddler clambering onto the inch or so of water you’re left with.

Depending on the garden you could section it off as a half/zone for the pond with nice seating etc and the side closer to the house more child friendly? So a 4ft fence with lockable gate (maybe a nice arch planty thing at the gate so it’s nice to look at but there’s not a chance in hell of them getting through it until they’re old enough to know how to work a lock/climb a proper fence.

We don’t have a pond but we’ve sectioned our garden so I don’t need to be the dog poo police, 3 of them picked up mostly as I go (I can’t see in the dark n do miss the odd one) but I’ve missed one before and don’t fancy either skidding in that toddler clean up or worse toddler fucking eating it horror stories.

NameChange30 · 01/02/2020 18:28

Ah OK after reading all the replies I would put a grid too and not just a fence!

I don't understand putting the grid 2cm under the surface though; I thought young children could drown even in very shallow water if they fell face down?

Raindancer411 · 01/02/2020 18:28

I got a firm to come and install a safety grid they use in schools. Takes up to 8 stone in weight but did cost me £600.

Then I am a wildlife loving person so the money was well spent in my eyes 👀

1Morewineplease · 01/02/2020 18:29

My friend had a large garden pond and when she had children she had a grid put over it. A local tradesman could rig one up easily.
Your children will get to experience some amazing wildlife.
Don’t get rid.

Oysterbabe · 01/02/2020 18:30

I'd fence and cover it.

Original poster
pondwoman · 01/02/2020 18:35

I don't understand putting the grid 2cm under the surface though; I thought young children could drown even in very shallow water if they fell face down?

That's true - it sounds like I'll need both a grid and fence.

OP posts:
isadoradancing123 · 01/02/2020 18:36

So many accidents with children and water, the pond would have to go for me, but i hate frigs

Sparrowlegs248 · 01/02/2020 18:38

Fence it off. I have a smaller pond, half day down a long garden. I've fenced across so it's in the second half of garden. Dc are only ever in the pond side if I am with them.

Sparrowlegs248 · 01/02/2020 18:39

@isadoradancing123 brilliant typo!

Hugsandpastries · 01/02/2020 18:39

I kept my garden pond as it’s the frogs home and it’s sad how many ponds have been lost.

My three year old won’t leave me alone for a moment so there has never been a chance of him falling in! But if I did have an independent child I’d get it fenced off.

Appletreehouse · 01/02/2020 18:42

We filled in a big pond in our new house garden when we moved in with our toddler. The previous owners were upset when we asked it to be drained befor we moved in, but I knew I'd never relax unless it was gone.

So glad we did as both DC often toddle around the garden while I'm making dinner or nip to the loo and I don't have to worry about them.

We widened our drive shortly after moving in so used the soil from that to fill it in. It would have been quite expensive to buy in rubble or soil to in fill.

MerryDeath · 01/02/2020 18:43

i wouldn't fence it, that's not foolproof imo. i would put a custom made metal grid over it.

having said that we've just ripped out our pond but there were other factors at play. now we have a lovely hole which my DS goes digging for treasure in.

OffTheShelfElf · 01/02/2020 18:45

Please don't get rid of the pond. Ponds are the single best thing you can provide for wildlife, especially if they don't have fish. Toads etc return to the same place to spawn every year. And all the animals, birds, and insects around you desperately need a safe source of drinking water. Finally, there's no better way to encourage love and understanding of nature in children than to let them have access to a pond. If they're young enough to be at risk of drowning, they're young enough to need supervising in the garden anyway.

SusieOwl4 · 01/02/2020 18:46

Mesh it . Do not leave it as it is . Having had my child falling into a pond whilst being looked after by a family member . Don’t risk it

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 01/02/2020 18:47

We moved into a house with a pond that I didn't wany to get rid of. To be fair my entire garden is probably a death trap for a toddler. It's on several tiers becasue its steep, theres trees and bushes a over. We gated off the steps to the higher bits, put a fence behind the pond so that if he did fall on the higher tiers he would just roll into the fence and we have a grid on the pond. I love my garden and my son loves helping care for the pond. It's as safe as we can make it without pulling it out. Seems a shame to fill it in when they can be made safer for the few years the danger is present.

pennow · 01/02/2020 18:50

As paediatric nurse I would just say that the dangers are greatest when there are a lot of people in the garden with the DC as everyone thinks someone else is keeping an eye on them. The 5 pond accidents I've seen in 25 years were all when parties or family gatherings were happening. The grid worked well for our pond.

Wispygypsy · 01/02/2020 18:50

I'd fence it off. You're not just going to send your toddler out the door on their own with no supervision. We don't have a pond but I have to follow my toddler to make sure he doesn't put stones in his mouth. Realistically you'll always be with them anyway, but make sure it is well fenced off too, obviously!!

BarbedBloom · 01/02/2020 18:50

I have a wildlife garden and would never get rid of my pond. I don't have children but friends children visit often and love the garden. I had a proper secure grid built and children are never out there unsupervised. They love the frogs and dragonflies and peep at the hedgehogs and bees. I like educating children about nature and teaching them water safety but have also put precautions in place because things can happen in a split second sometimes.

Since2016 · 01/02/2020 18:57

We’ve just moved into a house with a Very large (19 foot long) pond with lots of big carp. We’ve put a diamond grate safety grate on it. It can take a falling weight of 9kg. I’m glad we’ve kept it as my eldest loves it! Not too £££ either!