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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that most children will not need 11 weeks of half days when they start school?

197 replies

OrmIrian · 31/08/2007 11:30

Because 6 weeks of half days with DD and DS#1 was hard enough to deal with whilst trying to hold down a job. But now I've just noticed that DS#2 will have to do 11 weeks of half days before finally being allowed to go full time - serves me right for not reading all the stuff we were given last term. It used to go on until half term - now it's half way though the second half as well. Why? Really, why? If any child isn't settled after 6 weeks surely that child can be handled differently - not the whole class... And DS is doing afternoons the whole time. They used to alternate the kids between mornings and afternoon.

Oh sh*t!!! I think my company's "family friendliness" may be tested to the limit by this one..

S'OK. I know I ABU. But I am so fed up....

OP posts:
Original poster
OrmIrian · 31/08/2007 14:24

Well I'm not 'ard doodle! In fact approaching marshmallowness when it comes to DS starting school But I agree with you.

OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps · 31/08/2007 14:24

That attitude is disturbingly shor sighted. What kind of school community are you developing if you don't care whether the parents like what you do with their children

Well imo at some point it really does not matter if it suits the parents or not. Its about the child at this stage and NOT the parent. A school can't set its rules to suit all parents or it would never get anywhere. A school can't arrange its days around which parent can or can't get time off work. The school has to set its rules to suit the child at some point (this point being one)

In my Daughters class there are non working parents and working parents and the class can't be arranged so every parent is happy. They are never going to please 26 parents so they have decided to opt for 3 weeks of half days and thats that. I appreciate its tough for working parents but parents should except it without always expecting school to arrnage its days around parents. Its just not possible.

hotcrossbunny · 31/08/2007 14:35

We have 2 terms of half days and I'm really pleased. My dd 4.2 still naps most afternoons and will not have the stamina to keep going.
Also round here reception has quite a lot of formal learning as well as learning through play.
Nursery was very informal, with the children leading the play/ coming up with ideas etc so it'll be a bit of a shock to dd to have to conform a bit more.

hotcrossbunny · 31/08/2007 14:37

I also think that 4 is too young for school and if I was brave enough would have kept dd at nursery for longer.

princessmel · 31/08/2007 14:38

Our school used to spread it over 2 weeks. Its just 3 days now. First day they go home at lunch time. The next 2 days, stay for lunch and play then on monday all day till 3.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 31/08/2007 14:38

is still think 3 weeks is a bit much tbh.

am very happy with 'less than a week' first day only untill before lunch. think same for 2nd day,. then on the last two days i think they are having lunch/stay the after noon.

wheresthehamster · 31/08/2007 14:38

Remember that teachers are also working parents and have to put up with arranging things around their own children. They don't do these things to annoy you. Honest!!

HonoriaGlossop · 31/08/2007 14:44

I agree with you funnypreculiar. My ds started reception aged only just four and was part time till the January.

It was done by age; the older ones went full time after the first week, then the middling ones went full time after the first half term, and the youngest had the whole term part time.

I think that is the fairest way to do it and based on age is at least the most likely to help the ones who need it most.

My ds found school very hard, very different from pre-school; the amount of independence expected is so very different. Part time was exhausting, let alone full time.

Yes, it was hard for me, yes I work and it was bloomin inconvenient having to sort getting him to school in the afternoon for the first term. But it was for his benefit and as a parent we just have to cobble things together and do our best in that situation.

eleusis · 31/08/2007 15:39

Saltandvinegar, I think parents and schools need to work together. You seem to be saying that schools should never take anything parents have to say into account.

If you want to start say whoa I ain't your childcare you might find parents say whoa I'm not baking no cakes for your crappy school. Of course you can't please everyone. But, you can make reasonable efforts to meet in the middle when it is practical to do so.

Next time I choose a school I'm going to ask something that didn't even occur to me on this one and I thought I was so thorough. I am going to find out how many of the kids have two parents who work full time in hopes that the school will have a bit more reason to appeal to those of us who are not available at the gate and never will be.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 31/08/2007 16:53

I tend to agree Eleusis. The parents and children have to sign a home-school agreement to state that they do their best to support the school and it's rules. Which we were more than happy to do. It would be great if I ever felt that it was a 2-way street. I know that things aren't that simple - they have to facilitate education for 60 pupils so they can't be that flexible, but it would be nice if I didn't get the feeling that they are still living in some strange parallel world where every family has a parent at home all the time. And any difficulty a parent might have is just not their problem.....

OP posts:
Peachy · 01/09/2007 12:40

They do live in a parallel world

bridgwater

NKF · 01/09/2007 13:03

Eleven weeks is the longest settling in time time I've ever heard of. Re: the it's not fair on working mothers, surely you had childcare arrangements before. Can't you just extend them for a term? And school isn't childcare.

RustyBear · 01/09/2007 13:06

"You seem to be saying that schools should never take anything parents have to say into account."

Most school do try to - the problem is that it's very rare for all the parents to say the same thing.
Whatever time a school arranges events, P/T meetings etc, there will be a large group of parents who are inconvenienced - I know because I work in a school office & have to field the complaints...

NAB3 · 01/09/2007 13:32

2 years ago my school decided to do half days until after Christmas with the younger ones. IMO it was too long for my son. What annoyed me was they said it worked well that way when they hadn't done it before. Before that all the children were full days when they went back after the October half term. My DD is starting on Tuesday and being one of the younger ones, in theory it should suit her, but she is very bright and I think she would quite like to just get stuck in. My son was much more tired as he found it such a shock going on to full days after 3-4 months of part time. I will have to go to school 3 times a day for a while but hopefully it will keep me fit and out of trouble.

HonoriaGlossop · 01/09/2007 22:28

No matter how inconvenient it can be, I'm still glad they do it.

Only in recent history, most kids in this country started school once they were five; or at the very least, in the month or two before they were five.

Now children like my ds are still THREE a few days before they start school. I can't believe any kid will be actually harmed by going part time for 11 weeks, whereas a child who is only just four and a few days will be likely to benefit from a gentle start.

hotcrossbunny · 01/09/2007 22:55

Why are we all in such a hurry to get them into school? Results haven't dramatically improved since children started at barely 4, and I've seen children start with great enthusiasm but they're burnt out and cheesed off a year or two later. If they started formal education at 5 ,6 or even 7 they would reach the same targets academically as they do now and have time to be children too.
And school doesn't fit in with work anyway, whereas those who are working have the option of nurseries which do longer hours for longer and SAHM get to keep their dcs around for longer too. Win win!

Tortington · 01/09/2007 22:57

nurseies cost money

half days are just pissing about - esp for working parents or those who have more than one child at school
back and forth back and forth

RustyBear · 01/09/2007 22:58

My two are only 17 & 19 & they both started school the term after their 5th birthday - in DS's case it was only 5 days after, but DD was 5.3 before she started - and we didn't have any funded nursery hours either....

1dilemma · 01/09/2007 23:03

YANBU

HonoriaGlossop · 01/09/2007 23:04

Agree with you HotCross. Doff that hard hat, you don't need it as far as I'm concerned

pointydog · 01/09/2007 23:08

All that phased days stuff is absurd. Many schools round about me just get them going full time after a week. No need to faff.

mollymawk · 01/09/2007 23:09

Haven't read all of this, but actually I wish my DS1 could do lots more part time. His whole class will be doing full days by early October and he is only 4 and a bit. I worry it will be just too tiring for him.

hotcrossbunny · 01/09/2007 23:20

Thanks HG

Linnet · 01/09/2007 23:24

I'm in Scotland and when dd1 started school, 6 years ago, they did half days for 5 weeks, a full day for 1 week then two weeks off for the October holidays.

A couple of years ago they changed it so that the children starting in Primary 1 did 2 weeks of half days then straight into full days. So this what dd2 will do when she starts in two years time.

11 weeks is a ridiculously long time to have half days, surely it will cause more problems than it solves as the children will think they're onto a good thing only having to go half a day for so long.

HonoriaGlossop · 01/09/2007 23:25

But pointy I don't see starting with a few hours a day for a child who was THREE just a few days before school started, as 'faffing'.