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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be affronted that doctor is recommending c-section because . . .

26 replies

ozchick · 22/08/2007 05:35

. . . He is about to go on a golfing holiday!

Bear in mind i am in Australia so different hospital ante-natal system to the UK. BUT my obstetrician has recommended that I have a c-section tomorrow as he is going on a golfing holiday on Friday!

I am late 30's and had emergency c-section for baby no 1 so there are some medical reasons for 2nd c-section. This bub is due on Sunday.

Also doc asked if I wanted to be steralised at same time as having the c-section. Was !
I know, I know it's logical for lots of women but was still shocked.

OP posts:

reikizen · 22/08/2007 05:57

Ha ha! Was he drunk? I can't think of any other reason why he would say things like that!

SittingBull · 22/08/2007 06:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alicet · 22/08/2007 07:23

With sittingbull on balance although it does seem as though he was a little tactless how he presented it!!!! Having said that if you are planning an elective cs its usually done anytime from 39 weeks over here (sometimes earlier too) so the timing doesn't seem odd.

About the being sterilised thing - don't think its that terrible to mention it. I am in the same situation as you in that I had an emergency cs last time and am probably having an elective this time with my second. We don't want more children after this so I had thought about asking to be sterilised. However decided that I'm not ready for such a permenant decision yet - need to think about it for a bit longer after the boys have grown up a little. So don't think thats such a bad thing to ask you. Would be tricky to do this procedure through keyhole surgery (as its usually done) after 2 sections so it makes sense to ask....

twentypence · 22/08/2007 07:30

Doesn't sound weird for this part of the world. He was giving you a choice of him tomorrow or someone else in an emergency - which is fair enough. He could have mentioned sterilising you earlier though - a day is hardly enough time to make that decision.

Original poster

ozchick · 22/08/2007 08:21

You are of course correct - it is purely a matter of timing and after all what is a day here or there - it just seemed to be fundamentally for his convenience rather than for any overriding medical reasons.

It does rather make me laugh - I am expecting him to come into the operating theatre with a golf bag and wearing plus fours.

OP posts:

FioFio · 22/08/2007 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cloudhopper · 22/08/2007 08:44

God - it shows the huge difference in healthcare systems over there.

I am amazed at the thought of having someone recognisable involved in labour and birth, rather than turning up at the hospital and taking pot luck with whoever is on duty!

lisad123 · 22/08/2007 08:56

LOL @ the golfing bag in Op!!
If its a planned one, this yes seems reasonable to me. I was very lucky my own consultant came back in that night to perform my C section, even though he had already came to say he was off home and had been gone a few hours. I know im lucky, but did feel better knowing it was a doc that knew my case and me and one which i trusted.

Hope you get what you want either way
Lisa

amidaiwish · 22/08/2007 09:22

wow, imagine having your very own obs? we're lucky to see the same mw twice running for rare antenatal checks and then feel lucky if we get a mw to stay with us through our labour!!

Spandex · 22/08/2007 11:38

Do you want to have a C-section when he suggests? If not, then don't. Don't be affronted. Doctors don't live in normal world and I guess they are a bit thicker skinned than the rest of us.

I had emergency C for my first and then VBAC for my second and third. If it's at all possible and you want to, do try VBAC if you can.

aloha · 22/08/2007 11:40

Nobody offered me sterilisation and I was 41! Actually they said things like, 'well look forward to seeing you again'. They won't!

MsHighwater · 22/08/2007 11:50

I don't see the big deal about having someone you haven't met before doing your C-section.

My dd was born by emergency C-section after a "failed" induction that I had reluctantly consented to after having planned a homebirth (dd had other ideas and I gave in when 42 weeks along). My consultant had, suffice to say, an unfortunate bedside manner the details of which I won't bore you with. The female consultant who actually carried out the C-section was far nicer and inspired my trust much more than my consultant - but I had only met her for the first time a couple of hours earlier.

If natural birth is still an option, I'd hold out and let your consultant go on his holiday.

whomovedmychocolate · 22/08/2007 11:54

I'd be a bit shocked that you are expected to pick your baby's birthday on a convenient day for the surgeon. I guess it depends how set you are on having him there. Personally if he is more interested in golf than babies, I'd make sure I didn't go into labour with him around but each to their own.

But if you want him to do it, I guess you have to schedule. If you are not fussed and know there are other decent surgeons, I'd let nature take it's course (which means of course you will be two weeks overdue and he'll be back!)

aloha · 22/08/2007 13:45

Aren't obstetricians allowed to go on holiday or something? He's just saying if you want him to do it, then you need to have the caesarean when he's there - which is pretty obvious. I think it would be HUGELY unreasonable to expect him to cancel his holiday. If you don't want a caesarean at all, that is an entirely different matter. Otherwise of course your baby's birthday is 'chosen'. That's what happens with elective caesareans.

whiskeyandbeer · 22/08/2007 13:48

don't see how anyone would see this as a big deal. he's going away if you want him to do the procedure then it will have to be before his holiday. if not then just say no.
the sterilisation thing may have been tactless however.

WinkyWinkola · 22/08/2007 14:25

I guess it's just the notion that babies could be delivered according to someone else's convenience. But as someone has already said, that is what an elective C-section means - the birthday is chosen by someone other than the baby.

Try for a natural birth if you can. See what happens!

WinkyWinkola · 22/08/2007 14:25

I meant the notion can seem a bit odd.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 22/08/2007 17:27

Also sterilisation at the time of a section is not as reliable. Its recommened that you wait a minimum of 12 weeks after birth in order to allow everything to settle back into place, any swelling to settle.

sugarfree · 22/08/2007 17:53

It is if they take your Fallopian tubes out altogether instead of putting clips on them.

SixInTheBed · 22/08/2007 18:25

My obs scheduled my elective C/S around the hospital's annual golf outing so no, not suprised.I had asked for the c/s a few days before my due date to make sure I would be home for a very important family event and ended up having her 10 days early to suit his golf.It felt really weird to be selecting a birth date for such reasons, almost like tempting faith.To be honest I cried about it.However in more hormonally balanced hindsight I know it didn't make a difference - a date had to be picked one way or the other. Also TLs are very commonly done with C/S as less intrusive 'seeing as we're down there anyway' was how it was put to me.Saves having to recover from two seperate ops as well.Though on my previous c/s the nurse casually mentioned to me that she saw I was down for a TL as well- I wasn't! She had the wrong consent form.Wouldn't have gone on to have my lovely DD !! Good luck anyway with your new arrival really all that matters is that the baby and you are healty and happy

Chirpygirl · 22/08/2007 18:43

I can kind of see your doc's point but I had a (kind of planned, 36 hours notice) CS with DD and didn't meet my surgeon until after the op (I asked DH 'who the feck is that man?!' right in front of him )

Still, he could have worded it better!

kamikayzed · 22/08/2007 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alicet · 23/08/2007 12:47

Have to say I think some of the posters are being a bit unreasonable to suggest that this doc is planning this purely to suit him and that thats unreasonable. Doctors are just as entitled as anyone else to their time off - sure you wouldn't be so happy if someone suggested you should come into work on a day off to do something to suit them!!! whomovedmychocolate her doc wanting to go on his planned holiday is not saying golf is more important than babies!!!! If I was this lady's doc there is no way I would come in during my holiday to do her section on her due date - its actually a sunday anyway so are you saying they should come in on a weekend to do it?

Can totally understand why op is a little put out by the way this option was presented to her as it sounds like he was pretty tactless, but for some of the rest of you to suggest this doctors priorities are wrong is beyond unreasonable!

mm22bys · 23/08/2007 16:28

I agree with the other posters, if you WANT to have a c-section, and if you WANT this ob/gyn to do, then I don't see what the issue is at all.

It sounds like you still have the option though of trying for a vag birth, or having someone else do it if you want to wait till after he goes on holiday.

Does it really matter who does a c-section anyway?

(And it's not like the rest of us, even the Prime Minister, don't have substitutes if we want to go on holiday!)

TBH, I'd be more annoyed at the suggestion of being sterilised at the same time (I hate that word, it makes us sound like cows or dogs or sheep, or something!)

Hope it all goes well (or went well!)

helenhismadwife · 25/08/2007 17:32

he was a bit tactless maybe in the way he suggested it, but he could have just booked you in with someone else and not told you it wouldnt be him doing it.
Anyway if you have had it done hope it all went well, if not hope it all goes well when you do

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