Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed at parents who treat disabled parking bays as de facto parent & child bays?

116 replies

MsHighwater · 21/08/2007 21:52

Our council-run local leisure centre, where I take dd to a toddler group, has several disabled parking bays but no parent & child bays. I NEVER park in a disabled bay - I work for the council and used to issue the blue parking badges so am very aware of the rules - but I've noticed that a lot of the other parents with toddlers treat the disabled parking bays as de-facto parent & child bays. I think it's wrong. What do you think?

OP posts:
LadyVictoriaOfCake · 21/08/2007 22:48

damn i cant join in anymore

onlyjoking9329 · 21/08/2007 22:52

Bloody show off

WanderingTrolley · 21/08/2007 22:52

You with the GLEEEEE

Join in - I don't have a blue badge, I've never had one, please God I never will.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 21/08/2007 22:53

i will hang onto my 'not all disabilities are visable' sign as we are waiting to hear back about if he still counts as disabled for a while.

nzshar · 21/08/2007 22:53

I swore I would never get into one of these threads but just cant help myself here.

tori32 its attitudes like yours that have made my dp take over 15 years to get a blue badge. He was born with a congenital eye defect and has just recently registered blind at 35 years of age. To look at him you may think he leads a normal life, works full time has 2 ds', can cook (sort of ) But has trouble seeing like you wouldnt believe needs help in every aspect of his life from making sure he has shaved properly to me holding his hand to lead around restaurants, shops and new places. Because he has adapted his life if you walked past him , apart from the short white cane he holds you wouldnt know his disability.

I have already had so many tut tuts as we park in disabled parking spaces and out gets what seems to be a perfectly able family and we have only had the badge a month!

I suppose what I am trying to say is never never never judge a disabilty unless you have walked a mile in their shoes so to speak.

Original poster
MsHighwater · 21/08/2007 22:53

Of course, I'm too much of a wimp to say anything to any of them. Most of them go to the same group as me and my dd. I just mutter under my breath when we walk half a mile (OK, I exaggerate - 100yds) from our parking space to the building.

OP posts:
eidsvold · 21/08/2007 22:59

could you not just tell them at the reception and ask them to move their car

but I agree - no need to use a disabled bay unless you have the badge and the disability.

SofiaAmes · 21/08/2007 23:02

My friend got a blue badge when she was having chemotherapy. She looked perfectly normal (other than the wig instead of the hair), but couldn't take public transport because of the lack of an immune system.
Think they should start doing in the uk, what they do here in the usa which is issue HUGE ($600, i think) parking tickets to anyone parked in a diabled bay without a permit. They give the tickets both on private (not quite sure logistics of it) and public property. I haven't seen someone park illegally in a disabled bay in the usa for at least 15 or 20 years. There is absolutely NO excuse for parking in a disabled bay...and certainly not the excuse that you think that maybe there are people who have badges who aren't entitled. That's like saying that it's ok to steal things if they are overpriced!!!

Original poster
MsHighwater · 21/08/2007 23:05

I keep meaning to make a complaint to the council (who run the place) about it but it goes out of my head when I'm not there! I will do it soon, I promise.

I agree with nzshar. It's not a good idea to challenge someone using a disabled bay just because they don't "look disabled". There are loads of "invisible" disabilities - imagine having a heart condition or something and legitimately having a badge and having to run the gauntlet of aggressive challenges or dirty looks, just because you don't fit the profile! It's the ones who park without a badge (parents with kids or not) that p* me off.

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 21/08/2007 23:11

I'm confused...if you have a badge, isn't it meant to be on display in the car. It shouldn't matter what the person looks like if they have a badge on display.

And MsHighwater...I think it would be wonderful if you did say something to the people that you see parking without a badge...don't always leave it to someone else to be brave.

2shoes · 21/08/2007 23:12

here you are you can try walking in dd's shoes for a day. oops she can't walk

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 21/08/2007 23:21

mshighwater, i didnt have to imagine it. dh had that same problems. he got told he shouldnt be parking in bays as the badge wasnt his. despite it having his name and picture on it

disabled doesnt always means, sticks, frames and wheelchairs.

Pixel · 21/08/2007 23:57

But it is true that some people using blue badges don't deserve them. I know from experience that they are not easy to get through normal channels but unfortunately there have been warnings from the police in our local paper about not leaving badges in the car when they are not actually in use because so many are being stolen. (how despicable to buy a blue badge that you know must have been stolen from a disabled person ). Most people on Mumsnet must by now be aware of hidden disablilities and how difficult it is to be issued with a badge even when in genuine need, but to someone reading that newspaper article... well they are bound to be suspicious when they see an apparently able-bodied person using a disabled bay.
Sorry, just wanted to show that there may be another side to those suspicious stares we occasionally get!

forsale · 22/08/2007 01:35

no you are not bein g unreasonable I too get cross. Disabled bays are necessary P&T ones arent. I saw a woman the other week at sainsburys and she had parked in a disabled bay with a toddler - no blue badge in sight but plenty of non P&^T spaces availbale. nearly said something to her but didnt bother in teh end

forsale · 22/08/2007 01:38

my fil used to have an orange badge (pre-blue badge) for a reason that escapes me. Now he doesnt have one as he lives abroad when they go to town they park at ours and walk in never understood why he had one anyway

IncredibleShrinkingMumbletonia · 22/08/2007 01:56

YANBU. That is appalling.

LoveAngel · 22/08/2007 09:27

Oh great - another disabled / P&T spaces 'debate'.

slits wrists and goes off to bleed to death in a disabled bay even though not in possession of a blue badge

princessmel · 22/08/2007 09:30

Oh my god not again

But seriously this has been done to death.

Original poster
MsHighwater · 22/08/2007 11:39

Sorry if it bores you, LoveAngel and princessmel, but perhaps you'll excuse a relative newbie wanting to sound off about something. Reading over archival threads does not satisfy the urge to opinionate.

Is it too cheeky to suggest that if the topic bores you, you could just pass it by?

OP posts:
haychee · 22/08/2007 11:51

I was once told by Tesco manager, to park in the numerous (empty) disabled bays when all the parent and child spaces were taken!

littlelapin · 22/08/2007 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saturn74 · 22/08/2007 11:56

"Is it too cheeky to suggest that if the topic bores you, you could just pass it by?"

Not cheeky at all.
Rather reserved and civilised of you, actually.

Rhubarb · 22/08/2007 11:59

I take it that there have been a lot of frustrated parents taking their children shopping this summer!

littlelapin · 22/08/2007 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tori32 · 22/08/2007 13:41

Hang on folks I think I did point out at the beginning that I would never have dreamed of using a disabled space, until it came to the point where I had to put my dd at risk by leaving her with a stranger to move the car, to get her into her seat. As I also said I certainly wouldn't with a normal trip to the shops. However, when you can't get car doors open because the space is not big enough what do you propose I do with the toddler while I rearrange the car?
I have disabled relatives with both heart conditions and severe latter stage MS and neither would condemn me for parking in a space in that context. Where I shop the spaces are actually marked as interchangeable btween parent and child and disabled. Also how many of you get irate when you see someone with teenage children bailing out of a parent and child space?
P.S. If more thought went into the design of spaces there would not be this problem.