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To have a completely second hand Christmas

124 replies

Wiltinglillies · 16/11/2019 12:56

Each year I've felt more and more uncomfortable with buying a load of stuff, lots of it plastic, new when identical items are available for often a fraction of the price on eBay or Facebook.
All in our household are totally on board and MIL always gets us stuff from charity shops, so she'll be ok. I just want to explain to my small wider family how important it is. Also intend to spend the same amount of money as usual on other kids in the extended family, so they'll be able to get bigger gifts.
What do you think? Would you be offended if an auntie or cousin got you something (obviously clean and working) second hand?

OP posts:

MatildaTheCat · 16/11/2019 12:58

Best Christmas gifts ever were from the year we had a Secret Santa where all gifts had to come from a charity shop. Everyone loved it.


AuntieMarys · 16/11/2019 13:05

I only buy for dh, adult dcs and 3 great nephews. The children have got secondhand Brio and a wooden dollshouse from FB marketplace....a fraction of the price. Their parents are delighted.


Wiltinglillies · 16/11/2019 13:09

AuntieMarys that's the sort of reaction I'm hoping for.

OP posts:

Dieu · 16/11/2019 13:12

Unless it was top drawer stuff - like really sought after and high quality - then I really wouldn't bother.


Selfsettlingat3 · 16/11/2019 13:14

I wouldn’t have a problem with good quality second hand stuff for my kids. But I would not thank you for buying them lots. It will be too much for them to tidy and be too over whelming to play with.


WorldEndingFire · 16/11/2019 13:15

Have whatever Christmas you want. No reason why it shouldn't be joyful second hand.


MamaToTheBabyBears · 16/11/2019 13:16

YANBU, you're being very reasonable. It's so much better for our planet


WhatsInAName19 · 16/11/2019 13:22

YANBU we are doing something similar this year for environmental reasons primarily, although it is saving us some money too. I’ve got some barely-played-with board games and toys for the kids in our family. They are things I would have bought anyway. If nobody bought second hand, there would be people buying a brand new Cluedo set whilst another perfectly good (but pre-owned) one goes into landfill. And the brand new one will be in the exact same condition as the pre-owned one within a fortnight anyway. It makes no sense at all. Obviously you have to be a bit selective with what you purchase, but I think if you are and if you explain it properly to your relatives then it would be very unreasonable for anyone to take issue with this.


Kittenbittenmitten · 16/11/2019 13:25

YANBU. I need to remember to look in the charity shops for my pre-schooler. Apart from my DH, I'm not sure I could do it for the rest of my family. I don't know why. I kind of just ask my mum and siblings what they want. I tend to buy them useful things, books or consumables which I think is OK. I wouldn't be offended to receive second-hand items like books, jewellery or glassware.


IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/11/2019 13:30

I think it depends on their views. It’s not long for Christmas so they may have already bought things. I’m all for less waste but am fussy about what we have second hand and would rather no gift.

If you are that concerned about the environment then surely you would have suggested no gifts from either side?


maddiemookins16mum · 16/11/2019 13:47

I’d also rather have no gift tbh.


SheerPlums · 16/11/2019 13:54

We always get Christmas things on ebay, have done for years now. When the DC were little I got £350 worth of Octonauts in a big bundle for £50. Big bundles of duplo, lego, zhu zhu pets. Really good remote control cars, proper ones (traxxas) for £70 when new they would be £250+
I don't understand why anyone wouldn't tbh. Your paying for packaging that's all.


PurpleCrazyHorse · 16/11/2019 14:00

I agree that people might already have bought for you/your children and/or they aren't able to look in local charity shops or keep an eye on gumtree/ebay for local items that are suitable and in good condition.

I definitely understand where you're coming from though, I do keep an eye for secondhand items for my kids but I do that all year as you do need to buy when available. There's not always what I want, at the price I want, in the location that suits and good condition.


WhatsInAName19 · 16/11/2019 14:49

Those saying they’d rather have nothing than a high quality second hand item in good condition, why? Why is it important to be the first person who owns something? Genuine question. I’d like to understand.

I think this is part of the problem and why we live in such a wasteful society. I think far more people in our parents’ or grandparents’ generations would have considered this perfectly acceptable. Make do and mend, and all that.


RonaldMcDonald · 16/11/2019 14:55

Up to you but expect some people to think you are preachy and to bin some of the gifts as they are not new.


sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/11/2019 15:02

What are people fussy about not having second hand? The only things I wouldnt go for are shoes.


woogal · 16/11/2019 15:16

I think that sounds great.


AutumnRose1 · 16/11/2019 15:20

sounds great

tbh I think it would be better to ditch the present stuff altogether. I'm really hoping that this year will see finally see a reduction in tat buying.

I admit, I don't do Xmas, but I'm going back to the days when I did - no way would I be offended by something second hand. It's been much harder than I expected persuading people not to buy anything.


SkinRash · 16/11/2019 15:25

As an adult I wouldn't appreciate 2nd hand tat as a gift for Christmas. I would rather have a homemade cake or tin of biscuits.
I do buy second hand, have no issue with it providing it's clean and excellent condition. I just don't think it's appropriate for Christmas.

For parents with young children on a budget I would say buying pre-owned toys is completely sensible. I wouldn't buy second hand for other people's kids though, not for Christmas.


DontCallMeShitley · 16/11/2019 15:53

I never had anything new until I was about 12/13. I think my teddy was already second hand before I got him. I still have him, he is older than me.
My parents were frugal because they had to be, but as things improved we still had lots of 2nd hand stuff.
It is a good thing.


Babybel90 · 16/11/2019 16:13

I wouldn’t want 2nd had gifts personally, I had an entire childhood of only ever having 2nd hand things. As a compromise I’d ask you not to get me anything and I wouldn’t get you anything.


isspacethefinalfrontier · 16/11/2019 16:15

Too late now as people will have bought.

To have a completely second hand Christmas
Are you going skip diving for the turkey?


Bellaxx8 · 16/11/2019 16:18

I wouldn’t want 2nd hand for Xmas or for my kids.
Fine to buy for your own but not for others.


Bluewavescrashing · 16/11/2019 16:22

As an adult I wouldn't appreciate 2nd hand tat as a gift for Christmas

That's not what the OP is suggesting. Immaculate condition items, many still in their packaging, are all over FB marketplace in my area. I bought a box set of books still in the wrapper for £5 and they retail at £20. I can't see why anyone would turn their nose up at that tbh.

As long as you are selective it can be brilliant buying second hand. Yes there is some rubbish out there particularly at car boot sales but people give perfectly good items to charity shops. The trick is to nab things as you see them and stash them away. You do need to start early though.


TheHootiestOwl · 16/11/2019 16:34

I think it’s fine as long as it’s all in one piece, and clean.

My DM loves second hand stuff, she’s got DS some second hand Lego Star Wars which is great! Until I found out there are bits missing so he wouldn’t be able to complete the sets. DS sits with the instructions and builds everything piece by piece. You can’t give a child Lego sets with pieces missing as a Christmas present.

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