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To have a completely second hand Christmas

124 replies

Wiltinglillies · 16/11/2019 12:56

Each year I've felt more and more uncomfortable with buying a load of stuff, lots of it plastic, new when identical items are available for often a fraction of the price on eBay or Facebook.
All in our household are totally on board and MIL always gets us stuff from charity shops, so she'll be ok. I just want to explain to my small wider family how important it is. Also intend to spend the same amount of money as usual on other kids in the extended family, so they'll be able to get bigger gifts.
What do you think? Would you be offended if an auntie or cousin got you something (obviously clean and working) second hand?

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RiotAndAlarum · 16/11/2019 23:05

To be fair, most of us modern people are too fat or tall for vintage clothes!

Monsterinmyshoe · 16/11/2019 23:08

I've bought some second hand stuff for DS at third of the original price. Needs must, as I'm on mat leave. He's four, so oblivious.

Wiltinglillies · 16/11/2019 23:18

Thanks for the replies. Just to clarify, I'm definitely not talking about charity shop tat. I mean good quality second hand.
Also, not expecting extended family to shop second hand as it does take more effort. It would be great if they also wanted to, but wouldn't tell someone else how to shop.
I'm also not about to shower everyone with loads of cheap plastic tat. I also liked a previous poster's suggestion of gift and cash.

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elephantoverthehill · 16/11/2019 23:18

I am one of five siblings. I am 50. We get together every year with Dm, my Dcs and Dns. We draw a name and have a maximum of £20 to buy a gift(s) in Charity shops. It make Christmas shopping much more fun and we have really good laughs at what has been bought. Nothing is 'tat'.

EsselGruntFuttock · 16/11/2019 23:28

I’m probably in the minority but we don’t do ‘tat’ in this house. I’d rather people didn’t buy a gift if they had to resort to buying second hand gifts. I also hate home made stuff (including food hampers). Call me ungrateful if you like but I’d rather not receive anything if it was second hand.

EsselGruntFuttock · 16/11/2019 23:30

Each year I've felt more and more uncomfortable with buying a load of stuff, lots of it plastic, new when identical items are available for often a fraction of the price on eBay or Facebook.

You clearly do buy second hand tat OP....

Pinkypurple35 · 16/11/2019 23:38

I've bought some second hand stuff for DS at third of the original price. Needs must, as I'm on mat leave. He's four, so oblivious.

I really didn’t mean this, I’ve bought and donated lots of toys to charity. I never give anything which is broken or dirty. I’m really regretting saying tat. What I meant by that is a mis-shaped primark t-shirt for sale for £3 when it cost £3 in the first place.
I’ve also bought a couple of lovely ornaments in a charity shop. Wish I could delete My comment - I didn’t mean to make anyone feel bad.

Miljea · 17/11/2019 00:35

I tried to get our work Secret Santa to be charity shop. We are front line NHS HCPs.

But the younger people who organise it are different every year. They selfie trout-pout, they endlessly 'mini break' to Prague. They endlessly try and flog their MLM products to everyone.

They'll be 56, like me, before they recognise the unsustainability of asking £15 (!) for people to buy stuff for other people they sometimes barely know.

Wiltinglillies · 17/11/2019 00:49

£15 for Secret Santa is just crazy!
I get what you mean about some charity shop stuff being tat, pinkypurple and broken and dirty are out. I wouldn't donate anything broken or dirty either.
We have a large number of charity shops nearby, some are very good and eBay and Facebook seem to be full of unwanted gifts.

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dontgobaconmyheart · 17/11/2019 01:22

YANBU OP but to be honest the best way forward is no gifts (why do adults even need them? or cash/ a gift card). Second hand or not realistically a lot of people don't like what they are given, and everybody seems to think they have always nailed the perfect gift when they haven't. I would prefer not to receive anything really full stop as I have enough stuff at home (and I am a very frequent charity shop buyer)

Ebay is fine too but you have to consider the postage and the environment, which for me would count it out in the respect of an environmental argument.

IMO it will be a lot of effort searching for the 'right' thing, and likely it would be largely unwanted. If not for the rationale above, because some people are snobs like that. I think I would just agree with other adults to not purchase gifts of it means that much to you or make a charitable donation.

SheerPlums · 17/11/2019 09:02

Ebay is fine too but you have to consider the postage and the environment, which for me would count it out in the respect of an environmental argument.

Always change your search items by closest to your postcode. Then you can collect, better for the environment (I have often found really good things within walking distance of my house), also has the added benefit that you are seeing what you are buying with your own eyes before you hand over the cash.

DuchessMinnie · 17/11/2019 09:16

I love buying second hand stuff for Christmas. I just bought two Pandora charms from eBay for my 10 year old DD. I will get the bracelet new and put the charms into the new box. I easily saved £50+ with this.

SheerPlums · 17/11/2019 09:33

@DuchessMinnie Have a look at etsy. It's great for jewellery, you can probably get a pandora bracelet from there from a seller that has good feedback.
DH gets me jewellery from there because I like a particular Tiffany collection from 1999, it's always perfect.

fuckwitseverywhere · 17/11/2019 10:12

You've inspired me. DS wants a specific game. It's £20 on amazon. I've just searched Facebook market place and found 3 people selling it for £5

Wiltinglillies · 17/11/2019 13:40

You've inspired me
That's made my day.

The comments here have inspired me to look for vintage jewellery. There are some beautiful lots. Definitely not tat!

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fernandoanddenise · 17/11/2019 13:43

This will be our second year doing second hand xmas. Lego, sylvanian families, dolls houses they really hold up well and you can get some lovely things cheaper and more ethically than buying new. I’m all for it and the kids in my family have all been delighted as you tend to get ‘more’ - full sets of stuff etc

stayathomer · 17/11/2019 13:53

I understand the tat thing, but surely if you're buying something that will be used consistently it's not waste? I don't think you're bu, but you are if you buy stuff that's in bad condition or doesn't serve a purpose, have gotten very rubbishy second hand stuff under the premise of it being an environment thing where even a fiver voucher would have done something!!

DrMadelineMaxwell · 17/11/2019 16:05

All good IF you get what the people want and it's clean, new(ish) and really good quality. And complete.

Not, if like my sister has been known to do, you buy any old tat. I've had a broken picture frame that was someone elses's 30 year long service award for working at Shell for a gift - it even had his NAME engraved on it. Also memorable, the sindy horse that was scratched and had a matted tail. And the incomplete craft sets.

I don't care about the cost, so buying more for the sake of spending what you normally would makes no sense to me.

WhatsInAName19 · 17/11/2019 17:08

Because I don’t want clothes someone else has worn or a gift that’s been purchased not with me in mind but because it was cheap and suited the giver. It would go to waste and defeat the environmental aspect anyway.

Because I don’t want somebody’s cast offs.
It’s just a preference.

Thanks for replying. I suppose what I’m saying though is, how does this actually affect your enjoyment of the gift? The clothes I can understand. Although loads of ours are second hand, I do get why this would be an issue for others.

I’m also not talking about items that are bought just because they are second hand (I.e. just grabbing whatever is in the charity shop) but if you know you are looking for a particular gift, seeing if that gift is available second hand in excellent condition. So it’s something you would have bought anyway. That’s how I’m approaching it with my shopping and just interested in why this is looked down on. The exact same amount of thought and consideration has gone into the gift.

For example, one of the things I’ve bought for DS this year is a buckaroo game. I bought a second hand one from Facebook marketplace and, other than the missing cellophane outer packaging, there are no signs of usage. I imagine it was played with a couple of times and then consigned to a shelf. Why would this be any less desirable as a gift than a brand new buckaroo game? This isn’t “tat” surely? The difference is that if the Facebook seller can’t find anyone to buy their game, and nobody is willing to buy second hand from the charity shop when they have to donate it there, that particular game will go into landfill so that I can just buy another almost identical one brand new.

scaryteacher · 17/11/2019 17:15

I am getting second hand from dh this Christmas, as I asked for it. We have a set of china that we use everyday, but is not made any more. I could replace it with Royal Copenhagen, but that would costs a small fortune. I was doodling through ebay and found a dish and oval plates that I don't have in the right pattern and by the right maker. Bargain; that's my Christmas present sorted.

user1494055864 · 17/11/2019 17:33

I sell a lot of my children's outgrown toys and books on Facebook every year. They have had so much stuff over the years, so most are in 'as new' condition, just without the packaging. People comment on how lovely we've kept our things, and everyone goes away happy with their childs/grandchilds gift, for a fraction of the cost, and I'm happy that everything is being re-used and loved again.

Thehagonthehill · 17/11/2019 17:39

DDS favourite gift from her cousin was Preloved DMs,she loves them,they didn't need breaking in and will last for years if she remembers to polish them.
There are always toys as people hand them on.Scarves ,handbags and don't for get the Preloved websites .

elmosducks · 17/11/2019 17:43

Do it! I love a challenge

WaterSheep · 17/11/2019 17:48

I wouldn't be offended at all. However, I prefer buying secondhand as you get so much more for your money, so perhaps my view is somewhat skewed.

Wiltinglillies · 17/11/2019 18:41

DrMadelineMaxwell totally agree. My MIL has a habit of getting tat both new and old. DD ended up with a box of curled up discoloured hankies from the 80s when she was about 4. The box clearly said 30p for 4 but there were only 3 in there. DD was so polite, she went very quiet and red and later kept asking if it was ok not to like one of her presents.

I wouldn't give something unless I'd be happy to receive it myself and I'm looking for specific items, not whatever the Salvation Army happens to have in their discount bin on Christmas Eve.

So far:
Nearly new instrument current sale price £200 for £50
Kids guitar sale price £80 for £20
Smiggle toy in original packaging RRP £10 for £5
Etc etc...

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