to consider this inappropriate

[Daisypops]

I go to church most sundays with my dd who is seven and a half months old. My DP doesn't really want to go to church and hes either working, been on nights or doing his favourite sport on a sunday anyway. So today the vicar comes up to me to speak about my dd baptism and we have a little chat and he says 'have you got a partner, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife even...?' I knew he was going to ask me about my persoanl circumsatnces at some point I just thought it a bit rude to say that. I was really humiliated. I could've cried I was sat there on my own feeling really sorry for myself. I felt really stupid. I told him the truth and he seemed ok with it but I couldn't help feeling a little sensitive.

Do I need to get a grip?

Daisypops, I thought the C of E was full of mums taking their children to church while the partners declined to attend...seriously, no-one has ever turned a hair, or looked down on, people bringing kids on their own. I attended our church solo for a few weeks as dh was not feeling too good. I don't recall anyone making assumptions, or remarks. I did feel a bit sad about it though, truth to tell.
Good luck with organising your christening, perhaps dp will make an effort for that one day. I know at least one dp who did
Not mine btw, he is currently Churchwarden, bwahahahaha, having been brought up an atheist so you never know.
And I am really disgusted at whoosh's story. There are plenty of parishes out there welcoming and baptising the children of same-sex couples, if you ever feel generous enough to give us a second chance whoosh

Gosh Woosh I somehow missed your post last time . How unchristian of a supposed christian - that personifies everything that is wrong with the church.

I'm glad you found another vicar who understands the old saying 'suffer the little children unto me', what an ignorant tosser number one was.

Yet another reason why I refuse to attend every sunday, that and the fact I get an hour and a half free time

x-posted. Glad you found somewhere more welcoming and I'd want to stab him in the eyes too tbh.

I'm sorry, but I don't think that lack of church attendance on its own constitues selfishness. My partner and I have different beliefs in quite a few important areas. I would feel it was selfish to pressure me into church attendance, if that was one of the areas; I'd go to a christening, of course, but not church, I think.

And frankly being thought a single parent and/or lesbian is not the greatest humiliation I could envisage.

It's not selfish though, is it? If he doesn't believe, he doesn't believe. That's not selfish of him. If he went, not believing, he'd just be a hypocrite.

Whoosh, thats bad, did you complain about him?
Marina, the church is very welcoming, everyone is really nice and I look forward to going. The first couple of times we went I felt a bit interrogated (sp?) the vicars wife was firing questions at me like how old I was, where I worked, how long I've been there, if I'm going back after maternity leave etc. I felt a bit uncomfortable. I appreicate they were probably interested in the 'new lady' but I felt like I was being quizzed.

DP does believe he just won't go to church.

The vicar is coming to see us tomorrow and my DP is reluctant to sit and discuss our DD's baptism. Thats why I called him selfish. It not just becuase he won't go to church. In general DP is selfish. If theres nothing in it for him he won't do it.

Will he discuss why with you daisypops, I'm interested in his reasons

daisy - agree with the others I am afraid. The vicar sounds to have dealt with things very well - possibly might have been better to ask that question without others around though.

whoosh . If it's any consolation it's not just the Christian faith that can be odd like that - the rabbi who taught at my school was very keen to give me preparation classes for a batmitzvah and put in my end of year report that it would be a tragedy for me not to continue jewish education - except he then found out that my mother was an unmarried mother - and then couldn't be seen for dust

Why he won't go to church or why he won't discuss dd's baptism?

I think his main reason is that he gets embarassed, hes not a good mixer. Neither am I but I do it! It was hard for me the first time I went but I felt welcomed if a little nervous.

I think men do feel embarrassed about attending church, actually - I am sure that is a factor in why so few do (IME). There are only about seven men with children of school age in our congregation, but many more mums with their children.
It's a shame. My experience is that church is somewhere that shyness/social unease is tolerated rather more than down the pub/on the rugby pitch etc

Marina that is very true.

His comment wasn't inappropriate. Feel stupid for posting now. I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself and super sensitive because DP isn't helping me out with it.

No!

Posting on here just put it into perspective. That's what it's all about.

Don't feel daft .

whoosh if I'd been sat there with my dh I think I would have been tempted to withdraw in your support as well. What a dreadful man. (none of ds' have been christened so it would have been unlikely, but still...).