If I ask ds1's friend's mum to keep balloons out of reach at her ds's birthday party?

[Olihan]

Ds1 (3.7) has developed a massive balloon phobia. It started at a birthday party last year when lots were popping and has got progressively worse. He's now at the point where he won't go into a place that has balloons, if we pass something with balloons on he will try and drag me the other way and he becomes absolutely hysterical if one pops. We ended up leaving 3 parties early at the beginning of the year (all his friends have b'days around Dec/Jan) because of balloons popping. It seems to be the randomness and suddeness of them popping that scares him - we've tried all sorts of things to make him less scared but he's genuinely terrified.

We've now moved and he's been invited to a party by a new friend whose mum I know a bit, she's lovely and we get on well.

Would it be really out of order to expalin the situation and ask if a) the balloons could be blown up so they're not likely to burst and b) if they could be put up where the other kids can't get hold of them?

I feel really stupid for even asking this on here but I know if one pops then I'll have to take ds1 home again and he'll miss out on having fun with his new friends.

What do you think? Has anyone got any other suggestions for dealing with it? If I rang you and made those 2 requests would you think I was barking?

[Reallytired]

I think yabu to dicate whether their a balloons at this little boy's party or not. It should be the birthday's boy decision.

I would stay with your child if you are worried. However do you think that your child getting hysterial over a balloon being popped is just attention seeking. Prehaps if you treated the hysterial outburst like any other tantrum then he would get over his phobia.

Its a balance between being sympathetic to a phobia and making your child face up to the real world.

[Janos]

"However do you think that your child getting hysterial over a balloon being popped is just attention seeking."

It's a PHOBIA. Do you understand what that is? Obviously not or you wouldn't make such a daft comment.

Phobias are not 'attention seeking'.

[Olihan]

Thank you Janus. I read that comment earlier and walked away from the computer before I typed something that I would regret.

Reallytired, I guessing you've never seen a child in the grip of something that absolutely, completely and utterly TERRIFIES them. If a balloon popped in the vicinity of ds1, never mind in the same room as him he would go wild: screaming, shaking, trying to get away as quickly as he possibly could, no matter what that entailed. If there was a road there he would run across it. So no, I couldn't just treat it like a tantrum. It's not just a hysterical outburst, it's a phobia, he is absolutely terrified and he has absolutely no control over his reaction to it.

It is the worst feeling in the world to see your child so completely and utterly terrified and be totally unable to help them.

TBH, I find your post incredibly insulting and ignorant of what it means to be phobic about something. I hope that you would be more empathetic and sympathetic to your own child if he/she develops a phobia.

[Skribble]

I would perhaps get in touch with the parent organising it and ask if there will be balloons, they will ask why you are asking and you can nicely explain DS has a phobia.

They might say oh we can do with out balloons, you say oh no don't go to the trouble, they say its fine really no problem.

[Janos]

Oliphant, you are welcome

I still have this phobia and have done since I was little so completely understand how frightening and horrible it is (still cross the street to avoid balloons if I see one coming - and I'm 32!)

You would not be unreasonable at all to ask, that is all you can do. Good luck!