To be annoyed that ds (2.9) was handed a crucifix by a complete stranger today?

[beansprout]

We were playing in the park. Dh called so I was just having a quick word with him. Ds was next to me and a beatific looking couple came up and handed him something. I didn't quite register this until they were walking away. Ds said, "what's this mummy?" and I realised it was a crucifix attached to some beads.

WTF?!!!

Sorry have only skimmed the thread.

dd has been given a lucky eye brooch, a 50p, a £5, 2 blessings - all except one were from strangers. It didn't bother me at all - admittedly she was a tiny baby at the time.

I think to say you would be furious is just OTT imo.

First off I would not be totally happy wbout them giving him the crucifix in the first place. I feel that it is not appropriate to foist religion upon other people, particularly children.

However, I think that to leave it on the ground is just downright unacceptable. Do you routinely teach your ds to drop what he doesn't want on the floor? If you needed to dispose of it why couldn't you have found a bin and thrown it away properly? Or perhaps. more appropriately, you could have taught both your ds and the people who gave it to him a lesson by returning it to them explaining that you have taught your son not to accept gifts from strangers no matter what that gift may be.

So YANBU for being unsettled by the gift but your subsequent behaviour is unreasonable and IMO setting a poor example to your ds.

I have admitted that I was feeling petulant, so there is no need to judge my parenting here. I don't think running after them and getting into a discussion would have been useful (given that is probably just what they wanted), so I decided to just leave it there and move on.

I do appreciate that other people's religious symbols are to be respected, but perhaps, as it turns out, I am more likely to hold to this if I feel my beliefs are being respected too!!

I think it doesnt really matter what they gave u, just 'OMFG' @ someone handing anything to a 2.9 yr old child!!!

"Get the f*ck away from my child!!!"

and rosary beads... i mean what if he choked on them...

but seriously just creepy. worse than cpmplete strangers touchign your belly just cos u r pregnant!!

YANBU!!!

I'd have binned the thing unless they were near enough to catch up with, in which case I would have handed it back and said LOUDLY "You know, giving stuff to children you don't know might make people think your motives are a bit dubious. Not a good idea." And I'd only have added on a coment about the Chatholic churhc's long history of child abuse if they'd tried to argue with me.

well it is a religious symbol but I don't really get that it is "holy" - it isn't, if you don't believe it is.
It is a double standard to say the couple were free to foist their beliefs on your son and you have to respect their beliefs? Why? they clearly showed no respect whatsoever for your beliefs. respect works both ways.
and (just to see the other side of the coin) if you aren't a Christian then the crucifix is not a religious symbol primarily. it is an instrument of torture and death, like a gallows.

i must be weird because if somebody did this i would be touched. it's like old people putting money in the pram, or giving you a miraculous medal or whatever.

they were trying to be nice to a little boy. so you don't believe in it? no harm then is there?
i honestly don't get all the rage and venom being directed towards this couple.

They weren't trying to be nice to a little boy, though, they were trying to achieve their own ends. And they took advantage of the fact his mother's back was turned.

JARM, it's not "holy" if you don't "believe". To me, it's a cheap piece of plastic tat.

old people putting money in the pram???? When does that happen?

Aslong as your child was not afraid dont be too concerned. If she has any questions answer them the best you can. These people had no right to do this while you was not with them and I can understand your concern...cos I would have not been happy myself! (saying this politely). Tell anyone you know to warn them of this....it is totally unacceptable behaviour, religious or not. If she was scared notify the police just to be on the safe side, cos if they did this to a child once they may proberly do this again.

maybe it's a local thing. it's lucky to put silver in a baby's pram..usually 50ps!

Moosma - it's been going on for years - or putting a coin in a baby's hand.

Oooh wish people round here thought it was lucky to put money in a pram!

I think, if a couple of God-botherers had asked me if they could give ds a crucifix, I'd have respected their motives and maybe even have agreed. But if it had happened behind my back, as in this case, I'd be furious.

His childminder went to Lourdes last year. She lit a candle for him and brought him back a St. Christopher. She didn't ask if this was ok but I accepted this in the spirit in which it was intended, i.e. that it is her way of caring about him.

Complete strangers is something else though.

I'm quite intrigued by the agnostic not-sure-if-we-want-you-believe-this campaign though!

I like to think I am as rabidly anti-religion as the next atheist god-knocker but...

I really wouldn't worry about this and would actually think it was quite sweet. It matters to them - they wanted to give your son something he would be interested in (I would have thought a rosary would be interesting to children because it's fiddly and different).

Obviously they hope one day he's going to fall in love with god and join a monastery but it's a tad unlikely.

I used to quite like it when my mad neighbour bought round a palm cross for us on Palm Sunday.

I'm not preaching tolerance here, btw, as I am actually quite intolerant of religion. But this wouldn't bother me any more than it bothers me when the Salvation Army band goes by every fourth Sunday. There are actually some bits of christianity (which is the only religion I have ever had any proper exposure to) I quite like (namely the songs, nice bits of art, simnel cake ).

Seems a bit weird (and at least slightly worrying) to give it to him without talking to you. A bit meaningless really, because to a child that age a rosary is just a thing really, with no meaning. If they were after converts, it's you they should have given it to - or at least talked to! I think you were unreasonable to drop it on the floor really, but that's just because I think you were a litter lout in doing so.