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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think im being held back because DH earns average wage?

56 replies

bonkerz · 02/08/2007 14:03

I really want to go back to college and study social work. I have all the necessary qualifications to get on the course i want and i have the motivation to do. UNFORTUNATLEY Dh earns £25k a year which means i would not be eligable for any help with fees etc and we cannot afford for me to do it on this wage.
Im giving up work in 3 weeks and thought it would be a great time to go to college but i cant afford it!

My mate whos DH earns £15k (but they get alot of tax credits which in camparison leaves us preatty equal income wise) is doing a degree and its all paid for and she gets grants etc for books and a free lap top!

I suppose the bit that makes me cross is that by the time my DH tax is taken from his salary and also the cost of travelling he brings home just over £16k which means technically we have less disposable income tan freind.

I am jealous of friend although its not her fault.

Dh now considering giving up his managerial highly stressed long hours job and working in a factory with income of £15k so i can go to college!

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 02/08/2007 14:48

Come to think of it
Don't you think it a little unfair that the taxpayer should pay for someone on the average wage to go to university whenever they fancy it?

meandmyflyingmachine · 02/08/2007 14:50

Can you do any of it with the OU? Much cheaper and without the childcare issues.

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 14:50

It is nice to see mn's offering practical advice - where to look, how to find a possible solution.
I don't know if what OP wanted, was sympathy, but if she does, I sympathise.
Life seems so unfair sometimes. And sometimes, when you hear what some people are on benefits wise, you wonder why you bother working.

3madboys · 02/08/2007 14:54

i metioned the open uni earlier on, they offer loads of courses and will reduce fees depending on your income, you can also pay in instalments etc to spread the cost and like others have said childcare may not be as much of an issue.

it is a pita tho, i have a degree in history and sociology, i had a place on a funded MA course but then got preg with ds2, and when i said i wanted to do the course part time they withdrew the offer of funding i would love to go back to uni and do it, but need to do it part time and cant get any funding as i dont want to be a full time student, i am currently looking at the open uni as an option.

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 14:56

Countess, paying for uni, wouldn't nark me quite as much as paying for some of teh people, who we all know, have been of benefits for years, for no real reason - you know the kind of people I mean - they nark me.

meandmyflyingmachine · 02/08/2007 14:56

Sorry 3madboys

Must read whole thread...

CountessDracula · 02/08/2007 14:58

nono
i have no issue with paying for education if people can't afford it
But we are not talking minimum wage here are we, the average salary!

meandmyflyingmachine · 02/08/2007 15:04

If our combined income were 25K then I wouldn't be able to afford to study. Average or not.

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 15:07

I thought she was jsut complaining about the way that life seems sometimes just ... unjust.
Her friend can go to college.
Her dh works, but she can't. And they all have similar disposable income.
It's just a bit... ruff, really.
I have seen one of those wife swap programmes. One family works all work. The other family doesn't. The benefits family, have more money, more disposable income than the workers. Isn't that scenario, similar to that of the OP's ?
We wonder we bother?

FioFio · 02/08/2007 15:09

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FioFio · 02/08/2007 15:10

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zippit · 02/08/2007 15:10

you don't have to pay the fees until after you graduate...on the current scheme

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 15:12

Fio, it was many series ago

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 15:14

You guys are all so calm - you don't get narked by anything.
Apart from fruitshoots, Greggs and Xenia

Quattrocento · 02/08/2007 15:16

Greggs?

twinsetandpearls · 02/08/2007 15:17

It is always worth working because if you don't things will never get better.

I can rememebr having a whinge when I returned to work just after we had bought our house and we were told by the bank that the best thing we could do was for do to move out and me to claim everything I could.

We didn't and now a few years on I have worked my way up gone from part time to full time and tripled my salary. I could have moaned, given up but instead we went through some evry difficult times and are now reaping the rewards.

When you are on benefits or trapped on a low income things just stay the same, hardly a great life.

twinsetandpearls · 02/08/2007 15:19

Ia m waiting for a bra and some ipod earpones hardly in the same league !

FioFio · 02/08/2007 15:24

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catsmother · 02/08/2007 15:26

I too paid for my studies and got into debt in order to get my degree (as a single mum I might add) and it is indeed called life.

However, in this particular instance, clearly the lives of some people are made easier by the "powers that be" than the life of others, and that is unfair.

I accept that under certain circumstances people are entitled to various benefits, but how on earth can it be right that in 2 households, each with the same disposable income (whether that income is deriven from benefits, or from paid employment) that only 1 of those households then qualifies for an assisted study place ??

I can understand why Bonkerz feels aggrieved. Clearly the cut-off point regarding income and assisted places is only applied to earnt income, which is ridiculous. £1,500 net income per month - as an example - is £1,500 net income per month wherever it comes from ..... household A has exactly the same purchasing power as household B. So why is it deemed that somehow deemed that household A can't afford to put themselves through studying and therefore "deserves" to be given a helping hand ??

zippit · 02/08/2007 15:33

carping about fairness makes you miserable (though we all do it and it can be cathartic for a brief time)...much better to try and analyse the situation and work out of it, no one is going to do that for you

Oblomov · 02/08/2007 15:42

zippit, you are the voice of reason

zippit · 02/08/2007 15:45

I'm trying to practice what i preach

whatever the situation and I've been in some awful ones there is no one going to pull you up out of the hole but you

CountessDracula · 02/08/2007 16:15

oh I so agree

Sit around moaning about how unfair life is gets you nowhere at all

Making the most of what YOU have and not worrying about what others have will certainly get you somewhere

FioFio · 02/08/2007 16:16

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oddjobgirl · 02/08/2007 17:32

No you are totally reasonable to expect Social Work to be a subsidised course (like nursing etc). Many areas of UK are so desperate for social workers they are paying for overseas workers and when they come they don't stay long as the case loads are so massive and so difficult. Next year fees change -so it might be better then, but I would say start. Agree only to pay one term or minimum fee - situation is so desperate Gov may have to change rules on this profession soon.