To think ‘Really?’ when a work colleague takes time off with her sick DDs.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

To be clear - I have no intention of mentioning/doing anything about this IRL, and I am very willing to accept I’m BU. I mainly just want to gauge if my scepticism is justified in any way.

A work colleague has two DDs, 15 and 17 - no special needs, no long-term health conditions, both in mainstream schooling, older one learning to drive. Whenever either of them is off school with a minor illness - heavy cold, stomach bug - she calls in to claim emergency carer’s leave and takes the day off with them, sometimes two days. This happens once every two or three months, with either girl, not just one in particular, so we have to pick up her work.

Now my DCs are only 7 and almost 5, but I was very much hoping that by the time they’re in high school, I’ll be able to confirm they can access the loo, food and fluids, then leave them at home by themselves and not pass my workload to my colleagues and make it into work. My mum did this with me from the age of 12 possibly even younger

AIBU to think 15 and 17 year olds are old enough to look after themselves when they’re a bit unwell, or is this one of those parental care things that has changed since I was a teenager? Or is it a ‘depends on the child’ thing?

[that25cUKHeatwaveof2019]

well, I can think of a couple of people who played that game and HAD to take leave.
Until HR pointed out that they had exhausted their paid allowance, and were welcome to take any further time off either as holidays or unpaid leave.

Miraculously, the emergency days off stopped immediately.

When people do take the piss, there are ways to stop them. Sadly, it can take awhile!

[serenadoundy]

DC is early 20’s but would still need me around if they were unwell

Need - really?? I was living in a different country at 20.

Yes need. FFS. Ignorance at its absolute high.

How about you just appreciate that you were able to do that instead of acting like you are a better person for it? Because I can assure you, you are not.

My DC will probably never live independently never mind in another fucking county.

I hope your wee dig made you feel good

[formerbabe]

My parents were both dead by the time I was in my early twenties.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

serena
That was not clear from your last posts perhaps it was further up otherwise I would not have had a dig at you as you are putting it.

[serenadoundy]

My parents were both dead by the time I was in my early twenties.

I don't really know what you are trying to say?

If people have extra medical need then they have them. If I die my DC's medical history isn't erased, they will still have the same issues. And they will have a bigger fight to access what they need without me

[Number3or4]

I don't think you know the full truth. She might have disclosed health issues her children face to the boss and minimised it to the rest of the team. Afterall, its none of your business exactly why she is off and has the boss approval. Do you need to see a fitness note?

[serenadoundy]

That was not clear from your last posts perhaps it was further up otherwise I would not have had a dig at you as you are putting it.

You just proved the point I'm trying to make though. Not one of us actually knows jack shit about the OP colleague DD. Not one of us is qualified to make the judgment. The colleague doesn't have to be 'clear' about her child's needs to the people she works with. Ever.

What people need is less people like the judgemental vultures on this thread. That's what we need. We don't need 'sorry I didn't know or I would not have said' we need people not to do it in the first place.

[formerbabe]

@serenadoundy. I wasn't directing that comment specifically at you. If your DC cannot live independently then it is a separate issue to what I'm talking about. Many posters on here have described adults taking their nt non disabled adult children to medical appointments and taking time off because they have a cold even with no other factors at play. It's completely ridiculous.

[BananaSpanner]

But serena, the OP is sure as she can be that there are no additional needs. No she can’t be certain but plenty of people do take the piss out of their employer in situations like this. It happens.

[coffeeaddiction]

I have a family member that does this , she took the day off work because her 15 year old had period pains 🙄

[BananaSpanner]

And they get away with it because people are too scared to challenge them.

[justchecking1]

"had an operation to remove a power ranger from her head"

@Jenasaurus that really deserves a thread all of its own!

[serenadoundy]

But serena, the OP is sure as she can be that there are no additional needs.

That's my whole point. She is just a colleague. She doesn't know anything. There is no way I would have told any of my colleagues about my DC medical history.

No she can’t be certain but plenty of people do take the piss out of their employer in situations like this. It happens.

I have acknowledged that. The judgement is the problem. Post after post about how awful this woman is when we know nothing about her or her DD.

[AmateurSwami]

I wonder if they’re off for anxiety of
Similar and she’s too Embarrassed to say that so goes with tummy Upset?

15 & 17 is too old to need to be off with them otherwise, it just is.

[YouJustDoYou]

I wouldn't judge. You don't know their story, or what's going on for them. It seems a bit cf, but still. Just go about your day. Leave them to it.

[GabsAlot]

Why is she getting paid for it though everytime?

[DeeCeeCherry]

All the people making their grown offspring sound like helpless delicates are just pisstakers enjoying extra paid leave at the expense of their employer, and the colleaugues who cover for them. They are not at home taking care of their offspring. They're doing whatever they fancy doing with their extra days off.

It just goes to show the level of incompetence in organisations out there. Any decent management structure would nip this in the bud, but of course they won't as no-one wants to be the one to say anything (thats what cf's rely upon) and all management really care about is the work being covered. They don't want anything else to deal with. I suppose Im thick skinned as i won't cover the workload for anyone like that (had been asked to before) unless Im paid extra, and well, in order to do so.

[Snowy81]

I’ve been really ill twice as an adult- once with the flu (first time I had it) and woke to find dp off work, me soaking in bed from sweat, and then he made a GP appointment and took me- I couldn’t even stand up, as I kept passing out. Second, tonsillitis, dp had to take me to my mums to stay for a few days, as I was so unwell. So I’m clutching at straws but could they be that unwell?

[growlingbear]

A babysitter for a seventeen year old? Blimey. Some of our babysitters were younger than that when they sat for my DC. We stopped having sitters at 13 and I think I am a way too protective mother.

[serenadoundy]

And the blind judgment continues...

[Yabbers]

I wouldn't go spreading that opinion about though unless you are 100% sure there is no special circumstances/needs, as if there are and you are bitchy about it you'll look a right twat!

Doesn’t need to confirm SN to avoid that. Spreading that opinion no matter what the circumstances is a shitty thing to do. My colleagues do things I don’t agree with. I’d be a twat if I went spreading my opinion about them. Not my place to judge.

I have a family member that does this , she took the day off work because her 15 year old had period pains

If she had the kind of pains I did when I was 15, I can see why a mum would do that.

OP, if you aren’t her boss, it has nothing to do with you. Why would you care what she agrees with her boss? And why are you snooping on her leave request forms?

[MrsMiggins37]

You seem to be taking this very personally, @serenadoundy. It’s just some random colleague of an internet poster none of us know. Wonder why?

[that25cUKHeatwaveof2019]

as i won't cover the workload for anyone like that (had been asked to before) unless Im paid extra,

which is absolutely fair enough, with everybody would be the same, it would give some ground for managers to get rid of piss takers! Which they can do, but god it's a long process.

[serenadoundy]

You seem to be taking this very personally, @serenadoundy. It’s just some random colleague of an internet poster none of us know. Wonder why?

I already said why. It could be me. I mean it's not in this case, but it really boils my piss when people pile on to judge women that are not aware or around to defend themselves.

[MrsMiggins37]

Well given the OP knows her reasonably well and you don’t, maybe just try and rationalise it that it’s infintely more likely that she’s just one of the pisstakers . There are certainly plenty of them about in workplaces everywhere.