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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect a "thank-you" from a littly boy I pushed on the swing at the park?

41 replies

mm22bys · 21/07/2007 17:39

I took DS1 to the park this afternoon, and was pushing him on the swing when another little boy asked me to push him (I can't remember if he used "please").

I didn't think he was talking to me so I ignored him, but then I realised he was talking to me so when I had finished pushing DS1 I pushed him a few times.

Then I told him I had to go to look after DS1.

He did not even say thank-you, or show any sign of gratefulness or appreciation.

AIBU to have expected a "thank you" from him (he was about 7 I would guess, and I would have thought someone who has the guts to ask a perfect stranger something would have the "guts" to say thank you too...)

To make matters worse, later on DS1 was climbing across a bridge, and this boy just pushed past him. His parents were nowhere in sight...

OP posts:

stoppinattwo · 22/07/2007 07:09

Maybe he is generally a polite little boy but didnt realise he was receiving something to sya thank you for??

Usually we say thankyou gor getting something, a push on the swing may not equate to that, to him iyswim.

I do take others points about being in the parks and bustling around, but I also think that it is important for kids to be aware of being careful, I dont like all the pushing around that sometimes goes on, especially when there is a whole lot of age ranges about. I will often ask DS to hang back and let the little ones find their way first, and to think back to how he felt when bigger kids barged past him. He will now often look out for the LO's and help them along........as long as he doesnt have a football at his feet....then the house could be collapsing around him and he wouldnt bat an eyelid . What im trying to say is you should encourage them to not be entirely thougtless but they will have their moments, especially in the park........and for that you have to forgive them

YANBU in my opinion.........you have your opinion and you are instilling good manners in your son, which at 7, I agree with others, will need a little reminding from time to time

stoppinattwo · 22/07/2007 07:11

and you didnt chase him for a thankyou, which would have been totally unreasonable

zookeeper · 22/07/2007 07:13

I can almost hear you tutting. lol at this thread

ChipButty · 22/07/2007 07:36

I agree that he should have said thank you but, as his parents/carers were nowhere in sight, I would guess that he doesn't have great role models at home. That's just my opinion.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 22/07/2007 08:04

ChipButty - perhaps he had a younger sibling and the parents were looking after him and letting the older one fend for himself in the secure enviornment of the park?

tigermoth · 22/07/2007 08:14

Bit of a sweeping statement there, chipbutty!

tbh I don't hear an awful lot of pleases and thankyous from children in any of the playgrounds I go to, whether their parents are close or not. Perhaps I frequent the wrong sort of playgrounds

I think the boy was just being a normal boy in a playground - a thank you would have been nice, but IMO he was there to have fun and let off steam, not be on his best behaviour.

gess · 22/07/2007 08:25

Perhaps the thank you note is in the post

anniebear · 22/07/2007 10:55

It would have been nice to have got a thank you, but.....at that age they are just interested in playing and wouldnt really think to stop and say thank you

saying that I would hope my two 5 year olds would!! and if not I would have got them to

cornsilk · 22/07/2007 11:21

I am always really embarrassed that ds1 is always reluctant to say thankyou. He just doesn't. Ds2 is fine and always says it.
I did read somewhere a piece by a child psychologist which suggested that chn shouldn't be forced to say thank you, although it should be encouraged. It said that it didn't mean the same thing to chn as to adults and that some chn really don't see the point in it, it's not always rudeness.

Enid · 22/07/2007 11:24

god I hate this topic

what a load of carping misery it breeds

Original poster

mm22bys · 22/07/2007 13:55

I've been thinking about this some more, and am actually now, after reading all your responses, a lot more concerned that he was there alone!

Someone suggested that he might have been younger than 7 - That is really so much more worrying to me now given that parents were nowhere in sight.

But maybe that's a whole separate thread....

OP posts:

DangerousBeans · 22/07/2007 13:58

What would the thread title be?

'AIBU to be concerned about a child of undetermined age, but definitely under 18, possibly being left unsupervised in a children's play area'.

Original poster

mm22bys · 22/07/2007 14:14

None of my business, though, is it?

OP posts:

sparklygothkat · 22/07/2007 14:17

ooooooooooo I just had the same thing, a little girl about 5 asked me to push her on the swing at the park, I did so and guess what!!! she didn't say 'thank you' its no biggie really!!!

cornsilk · 22/07/2007 14:21

I get really cross at motorists that don't say thankyou when you let them through, or at pedestrians that don't do it if you stop to let them cross.

americantrish · 22/07/2007 19:10

anytime i've been in a situation anything like this, i just think, maybe the parents or whoever cares for the child doesn't care enough to push them on the swing, or whatever; i just think i'm hopefully somehow brightening the child's day.

i think its a bit unreasonable to expect a thank you...but i see where you're coming from.

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