To expect the teacher to call me for Parent Teacher conference on time...

[eleusis]

and if not to make SOME effort to give a phone number where I could call her back when SHE missed the appointment by 23 minutes?

She very begrudgingly agreed to this phone conference when I told her I could not possible be at school at 3:34. (then appointment was later changed due to their error to 4:15). I told her I could do the time, but only on the phone. Blah blah blah, so she agreed to it.

I waited for the call, but then missed it because I was away from my desk 25 minutes later. And she left a message that said something like "Well this is really difficult over the phone because there is a report for you to comment on... well, maybe we'll catch up some other day."

Now, why couldn't she say "so sorry I'm late, if you can call me back on x I'll be here for another 15 minutes". I think her approach was a bitpassive agressive to be honest.

And Im bloody pissed off that the school thinks I can just leave work in the middle of the afternoon.

There goes my donation to the end of the year teacher pressie's. Think I'll spend it on someone more deserving... like my lovely new nanny.

Seeing you about your child is her work Eleusis...

so maybe she had a bad day, these meetings are draining and you were at the end of a long day - I wouldn't get too upset about it

She was probably dashing into the next meeting. Teachers' days are very unlike office workers days. It's easy to forget that.

I still think they shoudl make arrangements for working (out of the home) mothers - and that shoudl be psrt of their job - you should not have to chase her for it

I was the last appointment.

I'm only asking for a bit of flexibility. I'm well aware whose child it is. But I think it's reasonable for teachers to make some some effort to accommodate working parents. I'm not asking her to stay 'til midnight, just say 5:00. That seems like a perfectly normal work day to me. I'm not asking her to do anything for her job that I wouldn't do for mine.

Intersting point about needing to be somewhat unavailable for the very needy parents. I see now that makes sense.

Anyway, I have sent her an e-mail asking if she could possibly reschedule for 4:45 one day next week.

I agree. Very unusual for a school not to do so IME.

Itsa difficult one really, ours do evenings but that doesn't work for us, as Dh works evening / night shifts. We just have to cope really, the only tme it really got me narked was when it was ds2's and I didnt get an appointment as I wasnt tehre (i drop 3 kids in different places) when she was handing out times , but even then I accept the teachers are human and have limitations.

I would never expect a teacher to give out a mobile number if its her own, and maybe the class didnt have a a direct line and the secretary ahd gone home?

I teach secondary which is rather different, but our parents evenings don't start until 6.15...

of course they should. Even choose one day for early and one for later.

At all the schools (3) that my children have been to the parents evenings have always been early evening. Therefore accomaodating most people.

Secondary schools here run a system where the kids get an inset day but ARE expected to attend a conference in the school hours with their aprents to review how things are going. Most parents both attend using their holiday

the secondary schools round here are in the evenings too

"So you think they should stay late in order to see wohps?"

Absolutely

Come on - it's only a couple of days a year. Well, OK, 6 days for secondary. But still - 6 days a year.

I will admit to being a knackered at the end of it though. Tip - never make a 9.30 appointment. It will be more like 10pm and the teacher may well be burbling.

ANd even after 40 odd parents and 4 hours and teaching for the day and no dinner, parents still get upset when you have to check your mark book to see how little Johnny is doing

But yes, parents evenings should be that.Maybe 4-8pm.

Dd1s school offers one afternoon, straight after school, and the next day they offer form 6pm until 8pm.

Dd2's pre school offer two evenings, bith form 6-8pm.

Certainly true that can't please everyone...

And divorced parents who need an appointemnt each at opposite ends of the evening so they don't have to be in the same room

Okay, so interesting that this has come full circle. I only asked for a phone conference because the times available were so early. But, now that I have a better understanding of how realistic (unrealisitic) it is to have a direct line to the teacher, it seems later appointments are actually a more realistic solution.

That's it. I'm going to argue for later times from now on.

my kids get the times for me at secondary.

kids primary has a list out which we fill in.

I have had parents come in first thing for a chat. DH will do that if he needs to be at school - he goes in a bit late rather than leave early.

And, really, there aren't that many mums who work at this school so only say 15% of the appointments would need to be in the evening.

Dads work too you know

Its worth fighting for, although I was expected to srope verything for a 4pm today (SENC handover going to juniors) with 4 hours notice, DS1 due in swimming class for 5.30 and Dh due out to work at 6.30- and not allowed to bring DS1, 2 or 3!

Sometimes you do have to find a way, but f its an ongoing issue (ie every year rather than teacher just didnt have childcare this year) then it needs addressing