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AIBU?

Boy forced to have haircut against his will

112 replies

Roofio20 · 02/03/2019 09:15

I know this has kind of been covered in other threads but this is a bit different.
My boy (5yo) wanted to grow his hair so I said okay, so long as we can trim it so it's not in his eyes, that's fine, and if it gets really long he'd have to think about wearing it up at school so he didn't get nits, which he was fine with.
Last weekend, their Dad came to visit as he does when he feels like it, took them out for 6hrs, and when they came back, my boy's hair had been cut really badly. Now, I wouldn't have minded if the boy had wanted to get his hair cut, but my 7yo girl said it was horrible because their dad had dragged the boy into the barbers, that the boy had hung onto the door frame, not wanting to go in, then had cried all the way through. He was still upset when they were dropped off. If the boy had wanted it doing, regardless of it being a bad cut, I wouldn't have minded but that the boy had been forced to do this completely against his will, I have a massive issue with. He could see, it wasn't untidy, it was just long. Am I out of order for being cross about my son being forced to do something he really didn't want to?

OP posts:

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M3lon · 02/03/2019 11:30

crinkle and yet I bet a hairdresser would refuse if it was a girl being dragged in screaming to have her head shaved....

Alsohuman · 02/03/2019 11:31

What a totally shitty thing to do. You don’t upset a small child for no good reason. I hope his hair grows fast, OP.

hidinginthenightgarden · 02/03/2019 11:32

I find it creepy how you keep saying "the boy".

HennyPennyHorror · 02/03/2019 11:33

Hmm yeah right. Ok fire away! But OP hasn't been back. He's waiting for some juicy comments.

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:34

Head on over to the barber who assaulted your son. If this happened as you describe he physically assaulted your child.

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:37

Assaulted the son are you for real? There is hell of a difference between cutting a child's hair and shaving it off completely M3lon

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:38

The only person to blame for this is the dad.

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:38

can't blame the hairdresser for this. As far as they are concerned the father insisted. They just went along with his wishes.

Dont be ridiculous. Of course you can. If I told the guy who works in Asda to smack my child and he did it HE would have still assaulted him. I don't know any hairdresser or barber who work on a hysterical child. Apart from completely violating their physical autonomy (for no reason) it would potentially be pretty dangerous.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 02/03/2019 11:41

I'm curious to know if all the people taking issue with "the boy" think it's perfectly normal to refer to your son as DS?

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:41

Cutting hair is not the same as smacking.

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:42

threepoint yes it did strike me as odd

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:42

So if a man grabbed you and dragged you to a hairdresser and forced you to have a hair cut that you don't want , that would be ok so long as it wasn't a full shave? Why is any different for a child.

This kind of thing is never about hair....it's about power. Both the abuse of physical and parental power over a small child and a demonstration to the mum that she isn't in as control as she thinks she is.

Magenta82 · 02/03/2019 11:43

Holding a child down and altering their body against their wishes is pretty traumatic. How is it not the same as smacking?

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:44

Laying your hands on a hysterical child for your OWN needs is abuse.

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:45

Sorry threepoint misunderstood you. It is a bit strange to refer to your child as the boy.

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:46

We don't know he was held down.

IAmMeThisIsI · 02/03/2019 11:48

My father made me cut off my golden curls when I was a little girl. He said it was too knotty and I'd cry if he dragged the brush (painfully) through it. When my sister and mother did it though they'd be gentle. My mother went ballistic.

Crinkle77 · 02/03/2019 11:50

When I was a child my mum made me have my hair cut against my wishes. Yes I was upset but I got over it. The issue here is with the father doing something against the mothers wishes. He should have discussed it with the mother but probably didn't as he she knew would refuse. My thoughts is that he didn't like his son having long hair cos it made him look girly. He is the one who is the knob.Not the barber.

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:50

He was "dragged" and had to be removed from "clinging to the door frame". Both requiring a physical assault.

RhymingRabbit · 02/03/2019 11:54

Both are to blame. If you were dragged into a barbers by your husband and were clearly hysterical would you expect the barber to comply. Why do we not afford or children the same consideration.

x2boys · 02/03/2019 11:55

Assault Ffs, m severely autistic now has to be held down every time he has his hair cut or even his teeth cleaned

GabsAlot · 02/03/2019 11:56

no sorry out of order and the hairdresser should have refused at such a distressed child

Missingstreetlife · 02/03/2019 11:56

Does he even have pr? Do dc want to see him again?
Even if your children are fostered you are asked if their hair can be cut.
Bin him off. Dickhead.

x2boys · 02/03/2019 11:56

Son.

Drogosnextwife · 02/03/2019 11:59

I'm surprised the Barbour actually cut his hair. I wouldn't be participating in upsetting a child like that, no matter what the parent said.

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