to not want to stop 13-month-old dd from 'running' at home?

[everychocolatehasaskinnylining]

Dh asked me 'You don't let her run in the house do you?' last night.He's worried about her crashing into things...but she's only 13 months old and is barely trotting! Fair enough if she were 3 years old and galloping in a very confined space packed with Ming vases, but she is only just finding her feet. Imo her development should not be hampered at such an early stage by saying 'no' to her all the time. She needs to develop her spacial awareness and be encouraged to be as active as possible

As far as I recall I was never told not to run at home as a child, except near the cooker etc. but we did always live in large houses, not the smallish London flat we currently live in.

YANBU - DH has PFB syndrome.

It would be damn near impossible to stop a 13 month old running, if they have found their feet! My ds (2.2) and dd (14 months) run everywhere. Sometimes they crash into each other, a wall, a chair, whatever. It doesn't bother them. They enjoy it and it's all a learning experience for them.

PFB Pennies? Sorry it's early and I'm a bit thick?

Precious First Baby {wink}

MN speak for Precious First Born. I'm guessing from your post you have no other children. Don't worry, he will make a full recovery and will be fine. It happens to us all to varying degrees and is miraculously cured by arrival of either another sibling or the Terrible Two's - whichever comes first.

She'll be fine running round and will have lots of fun doing it.

I broke a Ming vase when I was 2yo - seriously!
Don't stop her running - she might be destined to be an olympic champion! Keep her away from the Ming though!

no its good exercise and practice for making her steadier on her feet so that she is more confiden and will tumble less!
My 13mo likes to climb on anything she now laughs when she falls off,
She even climbs the stairs which im fine with as she is very confident going up and has started to come down confidently/safely as well! the only place dd is not allowed is in kitchn when cookers on

I think it's PFB syndrome too! She is our first. Onechild, I let dd climb the stairs too and we generally have a fab time at home during the day, but when dh comes home after a hard day's work a gloomy cloud appears...and when MIL comes over she's overprotective too, bizarrely feeling she has to point out all the 'ouches' ,or dangerous corners, to dd, as if she would take a blind bit of notice. 'Be careful - there's another ouch!' It's almost as if her every other utterence is 'Careful' or 'Steady'. She's only worried about her getting hurt, but as onechild says, children learn through experience rather than being told how to do things, and the more you stop kids, the slower their development will be. My mother's approach is different, more like mine.

Bet your parents or the owner of the Ming was pleased Sweety

blimey everyc. Your dh and mil sound quite hard work!

Just let them get over it in their own time, though I would say if ever you feel it's making your dd anxious then I'd not hesitate to tell them. She needs to be able to develop her physical abilities without people making her anxious!

dd3 is very nimble (14 months)

she is getting extremely nippy and good at avoiding things but yes she had bruises every day for about a month

when my son was 13months, he was really getting into running. we just made sure things around the house were as safe as they could be.
not being unreasonable at all....

Bumping into things is part of learning and being a toddler.

Don't let them try to stop her. I'd have a serious chat with your dh about this. Even print this thread! You don't want to make her nervous when she should be getting her confidence and exploring!

I agree with littlestar. This is an issue that could affect her confidence. And I hate to think of little girls being hamstrung in this way so they can't develop their physicality - I wonder if they would be the same with a boy?

and a little story for your dh if you want to put things in perspective a little...

I have a young cousin who has haemophilia. He has the very worst severity which means that if he cuts himself, or bruises, his blood is unable to clot by itself and any bleed (internal or external) could ulimately be fatal. Imagine what his parents were like when he started toddling!! The tiniest knock and he would bruise literally black and blue. Horrendous. And he has to have regular injections to make sure his blood is able to clot. Extra injections when he had a bruise.

Anyway, while all his friends were running round, falling over, bumping into things, he was really never allowed to do anything. His parents were just so scared.

One day, when he was about 3, we were in the park and he asked if he could play with the other children... to which his mum replied yes of course. But be very careful. He ran over to the other children, then within about 10 seconds came back in floods of tears... He was frightened that one of them may knock him over. And was most upset that he was unable to kick the football in case it caused a bruise on his foot By age 3 he already knew that he couldn't behave like the other children and enjoy the 'rough and tumble' that comes along with having fun as a child...

I had to walk away because I was unable to stop myself from crying.

The point of the story is though, that people who can allow their children to run round, as children should, will only have to contend with a few cuts and bruises and probably the odd lump on the head! But they should be just so grateful that their children can do that.

Let her run about and climb. DD was walking at 10months, and climbing at about the same time.

I think dh still PFB syndrome as she is now 3.6yrs and when he at home he still holds her hand or carries her up and down the stairs. I have pointed out to him on many occassions that she is able to go up & down stair by herself as i do not do it when i at home with her.

How awful to want to stop the freedom of movement of a newly 13 month old who's trying to enjoy her new found mobility skills.

After all she has to learn how not to bash into things.

At that age (well, just over, he walked literally overnight at 14 months) ds had a permanent bruise on his forehead from a mixture of banging into things and a phase of headbanging on the parquet when frustrated. He's two now and still trips and falls and crashes... of course... but it is so lovely to see his strength and delight in his movement. I do also say a lot of 'Carefuls' to him - he is very climby - but he seems to be developing his own sense of risk and rarely falls badly.

I think your DH is extremely naive! I'm fascinated to know how you would stop a toddler running! They just do!

leave him to look after her without you, more!

I have had very many variations on this conversation with MIL, tis mucho frustrating!
My way of looking at it is that of course i dont want ds to do anything that could mean he falls, trips, slips etc but more so i do not want to stop him developing.
I will take reasonable precautions but i will not prevent him from exploring and learning.
When he first started to climb up on the furniture, i was really nervy because he could get up but couldn't safely get back down or realise that he couldnt plonk himself on the very edge of the bed/sofa/table without falling off, but if i hadn't just let him do it (whilst supervising as much as possible) he wouldnt be where he is now - able to get back down safely and understanding that he needs to choose where to sit carefully!
Mil no doubt thinks that i am wantonly neglecting him but i dont want to see it her way, that climbing, running, jumping are simply inviting danger. IMO he is learning and i wont stifle that, i will just be there to try and make sure he is as safe as possible.
Put your foot down and carry on doing things your way, by allowing her some freedom you will be helping to make sure she becomes a confident and able child.

My DS is a bit wobbly at times, having one leg 5cms longer than the other, bones missing etc - and I made a conscious decision never ever to follow him around saying 'careful, careful..' etc. There are tijes that i have given him practical advice on the climbing frame - 'yes, of course you can get down by yourself, look for somewhere you can put your foot...', and there are many times I have stood at the foot of the climbing frame with my heart in my mouth. But children can only learn by testing themselves - or they can only learn effectively by testing themselves, imo.

I don't know how you can protect your dd form your DH and MIl...