The use of 'RIP'

[Bumblebeezy]

Given that the use of RIP as an abbreviation when someone dies is so widely used and accepted I'm sure I'll be told that I am being very unreasonable but I strongly dislike it!!

I realise when someone uses it they do so with respectful intentions but surely when someone has died it's not really all that huge an amount of extra trouble to type 'rest in peace' (or I suppose the original Latin, 'requiescat in pace')?

Whenever I see it I just think it sounds so lazy, unimaginative, and insincere in the face of something as profound as death. If you are going to make a genuine gesture of respect then why do it with as little effort as possible?

It's not as though people are painstakingly engraving a tombstone, just typing for seconds on a keyboard.

I don't get it!

[Babyroobs]

I don't like people saying 'passed away' or worse still 'passed'. What's wrong with saying someone has died?

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Or RIP, you will be mist. 😄

[QuirkyQuark]

Yeah again, not something I can really get worked up about and waste energy on. A lot things are abbreviated in life.

[DontCallMeCharlotte]

I suppose it's the same as RSVP. You just wouldn't say it all.

The related one I have an irrational dislike of is "sorry for your loss". It's possibly because it always sounds so glib.

[MamaLovesMango]

It’s used a lot on the hospital I work in and always makes me cringe a bit. I’d rather write deceased and condolences expressed to the family. I was recently disappointed to see ‘RIP’ engraved on the plaques on a close relatives coffin.

[Arowana]

I'm not keep on RIP either. I think because when I see it, it makes me think of the word rip, rather than the words rest in peace.

Not keen on passed either.

YANBU.

[MamaLovesMango]

Haha

And like others it reminds me of ‘RIP hun. You R wiv the angles now and will b mist’

[WhentheRabbitsWentWild]

Yes that is how I see the word too @Arowana . RIP , to tear.

@Alex [grin ]

[spiderlight]

I've always hated it as well. Someone's died and you can't be bothered to type three words? It's just trite and lazy.

[NonExistentFox]

Agree. I hate RIP. Sounds trite, it’s overused and it doesn’t really mean anything

But it does! It means "Hope you're not a ghost or in hell or purgatory or otherwise among the unquiet dead."

[Karigan195]

Strangely it seems to be a new ‘in’ word for some kids. Took one of my sons friends out to Pizza Hut the other day with us and he used it 3 times over minor issues. They ran out of bread sticks rip. Wtaf?

[Charliesdarling]

I hate the use of Xmas instead of Christmas.

[Snoozysnoozy]

I think it's because people don't know what else to say.

[AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo]

Further to a PP re the unquiet dead, the 'rest' bit also means 'sleep', as in until the resurrection. It hasn't really (originally) got anything to do with rest from mortal labours - that came, for the very obvious reason that most people's lives were/are hard, later.

[Sunflower1989]

I agree OP. It's a quick, thoughtless phrase that's so overused it has lost it's real meaning. In my opinion.

[FurrySlipperBoots]

I only use it tongue in cheek about inanimate objects - 'I've just dropped my laptop on the kitchen floor! RIP HP ENVY.' I would never use it about a person or animal. I don't even like 'Rest in Peace' because while I'm not religious I like to think there's something more interesting after death than eternal nothingness.

[PBo83]

Whether or not the abbreviation of 'Rest In Peace' is offensive is the thin end of the wedge for me.

The complete deluge of the worst types of grief on social media have me in a rage (well, they don't any more because I've ditched it, but USED to have me in a rage).

I shall categorise:

• Genuine Grief.

The loss of a loved one. Personally, if I lost a parent/partner/sibling/child, Facebook would be the last place I'd go. This is a time to be with family. However, I understand that it is a way of informing a large number of people (some who may live the other side of the world) so this one kinda gets a pass. However, I believe that you should approach this like a you would a genuine obituary. i.e:

1) "It is with great sadness that I announce the passing of..." (acceptable)

2) "rip my angle" (unacceptable)

• Historical Grief

It may be 7 years since your Nan died but we don't all need to hear about it. Go to the cemetery, speak to living family, say a quiet prayer (if you're religious). Posting a photo of them EVERY BLOODY YEAR is fishing for sympathetic comments.

• Pseudo Grief

This has to come under the 'virtue signalling' banner. Pretending to care about the death of someone/people you don't know in order to promote oneself as a 'caring' individual. Pseudo grief is most common after a tragedy or high profile news story. It's perfectly possible to care and have sympathy for people you don't know, it's also perfectly possible not to shout about it.

• Grief Hi-jacking

Jumping all over someone else's tragedy despite not being close to those involved. Again, this is often done as a disingenuous way in which to appear 'caring' but also invite sympathy despite the effect on you being minimal. e.g. a few years ago I lost a friend to suicide and felt quite outraged at the amount of people (who barely knew them) that were sympathy-fishing off the back of their death.

• Pet Grief

By all means change your profile picture to one of you with your recently deceased cat. We don't need to hear about their death every year though.

Sorry, a bit of a rant but I hope I'm not alone.

[burritofan]

RIP doesn’t bother me, but ‘passed’ sets my teeth on edge

Came here to say exactly this! Worst was the registrar saying it when issuing the death certificate! Over and over again. Wanted to point out that his job title wasn't 'registrar of births, passings and marriages'.

[Sunflower1989]

@PBo83 agree wholeheartedly! Preach!

[Findingthingstough18]

Pbo83 I would never announce a death on Facebook - and it was how I found out my grandmother had died, which I'm still quite hurt about - but who made you the judge of acceptable and unacceptable grief? I think judging and sneering at someone's reaction to death is far more gauche than anything anyone could post on Facebook - and it's unkind and ungracious to boot.

[Findingthingstough18]

I also think it's pretty gross to sneer at people misspelling things when referring to their dead loved ones. Do you think the pain felt by people who can't spell angels is somehow less worthy of sympathy? I can be quite pedantic (especially in my own writing) but there's a time and place, people.

[easyandy101]

I also think it's pretty gross to sneer at people misspelling things when referring to their dead loved ones. Do you think the pain felt by people who can't spell angels is somehow less worthy of sympathy? I can be quite pedantic (especially in my own writing) but there's a time and place, people.

Spot on

[pineappletower]

Yes, I hate it too. Even worse when they can't be arsed to hit the caps key.

[downcasteyes]

Not everyone is articulate with words. And even articulate people are sometimes struck completely dumb with grief. If stock phrases help them to announce and to process a loss in their lives, so be it. Whatever helps, whatever feels right for the people at the heart of a death. The last thing they should be worrying about is people judging them at that time.

If the feeling isn't so sincere or is felt less deeply, then that's different.