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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect lift-share to mean lift-share?

22 replies

casbie · 04/07/2007 12:25

it's doing my head-in.

i lift-share with another chap to work, although whenever it's his turn to drive, i've had these excuses:

my van is in the garage (camper - certainly needs putting down)

my wife needs the car today

i'm on holiday leave

i'm ill - not going in

wife's ill - i'm not going in

it's getting to the point where i'm just his chauffeur for the week. not only that, but i have to leave the house 15 mins earlier and then wait 15 mins for him to get ready to leave - so even though i've left early, i'm still late at work!

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 04/07/2007 12:30

stop it then, sounds like he's a user tbh. Why are you still doing it? Either find someone else to share with or stop it altogether it's really not fair on you!

mother2b · 04/07/2007 12:30

how rude!

tell him to feck off!!!!!

Beelliesebub · 04/07/2007 12:33

Tell him that if he's gonna treat you like a taxi, you'll charge him like one...

JARM · 04/07/2007 12:33

If he wants a regular lift to work, then it should be just that. And he should pay towards fuel.

My brother takes 2 others to work daily, and they both give him £10 a week for fuel.

flibbertyjibbet · 04/07/2007 12:51

Just don't pick him up tomorrow. Thats what I did with my piss taking car share a few years ago.
Or if that is a bit confrontational (the way she came at me at work when she finally arrived was really entertaining for the rest of the office btw!), then take him to one side, tell him that obviously 'sharing' is not working out, and that you are happy to give him a lift but he will have to compensate you for your petrol. On a weekly basis in advance, ie tenner handed over on a Monday morning.
If he isn't happy about it then calmly and firmly tell him that as he inconveniences you timewise for the lift, it is not something you are prepared to do for free.
Worst he can do is say get lost and then have to get his own car out everyday? (an you get an extra 15 mins in bed and home earlier every day).

Original poster
casbie · 05/07/2007 08:39

the thing that makes it a bit complicated is that i know his wife quite well and i really like her.

also, once i phoned him to say i was outside, knocked on his door and after 5 mins he still didn't come out, so i drove off. he came in 2 hours later really cross and ranting that i had left him behind. i explained i had tried to phone him (phone not on) and had knocked on his door (hadn't heard it) and he still hadn't answered. he blamed me for not trying hard enough! i said 'you've been a real tosser and that you know what time you should be outside your house by'. it shocked everyone in the office, but a few people came up to me later and said 'yes, he's a tosser'.

anyhoos, that was several months ago, and petrol back and froth to work is around £200 a month (eeeeekkkkkkk!), so finacially it's worth both our while to lift-share(as well as good for the enviroment ).

the only thing is i'm getting really stressed now about it all and i hate having to rush out of the house really early only to be kept waiting!

OP posts:
ConnorTraceptive · 05/07/2007 08:46

i use to give someone a lift to work as they couldn't drive and it was a totle ball ache, she was never ready and we were always late. One day I got pulled up by the boss and told that our lateness was unaceptable and that as I was the one driving he assumed that I was the one not running on time and I was being unfair to my co worker

I put him straight and her and the lateness improved.

She "generously" gave me five pound a month petrol money. But when I told her that I wouldn't be able to give her a lift one week as I wouldn't have a car she said rather snottily "well don't expect any petrol money this month then"

Tell this using tosser that your are not giving him a lift anymore

ConnorTraceptive · 05/07/2007 08:46

total

IntergalacticWalrus · 05/07/2007 08:51

If it were me, I'd get all arsey about it to DP and then wimp out of telling my collegue [poof]

He sounds like a nobbo.

I have a friend who takes the piss like this (ie, she expects me to drive to the next town and pick her up at a moments notice, veen though I have 2 kids and it takes me about 45 mins to get to her)

She's no longer my friend

ConnorTraceptive · 05/07/2007 08:54

hmm some friendships just aren't right are they?

I have a friend who always assumes i'll drive to the pub and always expects to do rounds i'm on the diet coke she's having vodka and coke! Cheap night for her not so much for me considering i'm not even getting vaguely drunk.

IntergalacticWalrus · 05/07/2007 08:56

Put your foot down CT. (great name btw)

mother2b · 05/07/2007 09:00

i get a lift home everyday with a co-worker that lives in the same town as me, i give her £10 a week for the 20mile journey home every week and £20 if she gives me a lift in also, she is great to talk to and friendly and i really enjoy getting a lift home with her (when i get a lift to work im usually still half asleep)

i think is totally unacceptable to be late, i always wait by the window if its cold or wet outside or if its nice i will wait outside - i dont drive and know that if i couldnt get a lift back then i would be paying extortionate rates on buses and would be travelling for about 1.5/2 hours because of the crap bus services

i am learning to drive and when i do drive we will prob do a 'shared drive'

if im not at work i will make sure she knows before she needs to pick me up(will give as much notice as poss.) and if shes not at work i just get the bus, i dont make a fuss, and i dont bother working out how much i owe her this week because she doesnt mess me around and shes doing ME the favour, not the other way around

ConnorTraceptive · 05/07/2007 09:04

I don't see her much anymore everytime I do she always asks "so are you still enjoying being a housewife?" make's me want to punch her

Original poster
casbie · 05/07/2007 09:32

i'm a real chicken - i'm going to text him and say, thanks but no thanks.

OP posts:
flibbertyjibbet · 05/07/2007 17:29

let us know what he says!!
I'm hoping he does the grovelling bit when your text brings him to his senses and he realises the financial implications of losing the car share.
Then you should still say no thanks

FioFio · 05/07/2007 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mumto3girls · 05/07/2007 17:36

how did it go casbie?

Original poster
casbie · 06/07/2007 08:02

my text:
"Hi need my car today - let's forget lift-share as quite often i've got things to do before work [play with children, dress children, generally be mum for 1/2 hour etc]"

his response:
"cool"

guess i just have to stick to my guns on monday and NOT give him a lift because "my car is in the garage/wife needs car/blah/blah" and i'm sooo crap at that!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 06/07/2007 08:06

that doesn't sound like lets forget lift-share for ever .. it sounds like lets forget lift-share today

you need to talk to him face to face and ensure he knows its permanent

Original poster
casbie · 06/07/2007 08:13

oh sh*t.

can someone help me rite the best text?

OP posts:
Twiglett · 06/07/2007 08:18

how about

"Oh I'm so glad you're ok with not doing shared lifts again. See you at work"

Original poster
casbie · 06/07/2007 08:23

excellent - i always seem to be appologising and i don't know what for!

OP posts:
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