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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if your baby's sick, should you still take them to play groups?

27 replies

warthog · 29/06/2007 08:07

i'm going on holiday in the middle of nowhere and dd is in good health. the last thing i want is to have to deal with a sick baby, in a strange country, on my holiday. i don't want to go to a play group only to have her pick up chicken pox. it really pisses me off that i have to stay away. if your dc is sick, should you really be taking them out and infecting other dc's?

OP posts:

chevre · 29/06/2007 08:10

childhood illness it part of growing up. kids are infectious with chickenpox before any symtoms appear and most parents do quarentine when they realise. chances are she is more likely to pick something up on the plane (if you are flying)

Twiglett · 29/06/2007 08:12

so a child with chicken pox was at your playgroup? HOw do you know they were still infectious? Did you ask the parent? The current guidelines are 10 days from outbreak of first spots is non-contagious (whether they're all crusted over or not)

but yes I'd be furious and its totall inapporpriate

Original poster

warthog · 29/06/2007 08:22

i don't know what stage the child is at. i'm waiting for friend to tell me. but it pisses me off that i have to wait to find out whether or not i can take dd. surely it's her responsibility to stay away? why should i have to check?

i know that kids need exposure to disease for their immune system, i'm just pissed off is all. it's happened a few times at this group. i feel like saying something.

OP posts:

brimfull · 29/06/2007 08:23

no you should not take them if they are obviously unwell/contagious.This is not including a slight snotty nose/cold though.

ELR · 29/06/2007 08:26

i know how you feel a friend came to my house and then slipped it laughingly into conversation that her son had the pox at time dd was with him playing dress ups and i was breast feeding my newborn ds, i was livid and told her so she was even sending him to nursery!!!

calordan · 29/06/2007 09:25

Do you mean playgroup as in the kids are left with playleaders, not a toddler group. If so then absolutley not, all groups have guidelines of when kids can caome to school after impetigo, sickness and such like if this has happened before you need to talk to whos in charge and get them to put out a reminder of when u cannot take them, once had a kid turn up at ds party with raging conjunctivitis and was only half way thru party i noticed

sarah573 · 29/06/2007 09:31

Agree with Chevre - its part of growing up.

The most infectious part of chicken pox is the incubation period which is about 10 days before there are any symptoms. The chances are half the kids at playgroup caught it last week and are infectious with no symptoms, whilst the spotty child is no longer infectious.

They are going to pick all sorts of bugs up,there isn't much you can do about it.

Im sorry but I think YABU (very easy with first baby I know!). If you are really worried keep your little one at home.

Hope you have a lovely holiday.

Original poster

warthog · 29/06/2007 09:48

well it turns out baby is still in incubation period so i have to stay away.

from what i understand, if they get chicken pox under the age of 2, they are not immune to it. so there's no point.

i really don't feel like dealing with a sick child on hols when i can avoid it.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 29/06/2007 09:56

It's 5 days from outbreak of first spot, not 10

newlifenewname · 29/06/2007 10:03

Absolutely not unreasonable. It is the individual's choice whether or not they wish to expose their child to disease in the hope that this builds good immunity. This is a dubious concept and is no longer a choice if ignorant and selfish parents send their child to public play or nursery sessions when they are unwell. It is also rather unfair on the poorly child.

I am absolutely fed up of puking, tummy bug and diarrohea ridden kids being sent to school and nursery only for my children to pick these bugs up time and time again. As a single parent of three children it is bloody hard work dealing with this cycle of illness and earlier this year (not for the first time) my youngest son was hospitalised with dehydration following yet another tummmy bug.

Stop being so inconsiderate you parents who think it is okay to inflict your kid's germs on the rest of us.

francagoestohollywood · 29/06/2007 10:11

I knew it was 7 days!

francagoestohollywood · 29/06/2007 10:11

I knew it was 7 days!

francagoestohollywood · 29/06/2007 10:12

also they might not let you on a plane if your child is covered in blisters.

francagoestohollywood · 29/06/2007 10:12

also they might not let you on a plane if your child is covered in blisters.

francagoestohollywood · 29/06/2007 10:12

Weegle · 29/06/2007 10:36

Chicken pox is one thing - but let's face it they are most contagious when you don't even know they've got it. So how do you know this baby is in the incubation period? Do you mean they may/may not be going to get it but have been exposed to another child? In this case I think it is unreasonable to expect them to stay away, afterall they could end up staying in for a long time and then their child doesn't even get it! Colds - tough - part of life and the sooner kids learn to cope with getting on with life with them the better. D&V - yes stay away but again they are likely contagious before you know they have it anyway. Sure it's frustrating when your child gets ill, particularly if close to a holiday but I should think the number of bugs they are exposed to when parents don't know their child is ill outweighs the parents who knowingly take a sick child - anwyay who wants to take a proper sick (e.g. D&V) child out in public anyway??

Wisteria · 29/06/2007 10:41

I can understand why you're so angry, but I think it's part of having children, you can't prevent them from coming into contact with illness and as everyone else has said the majority of infectious diseases are contagious before the Mum's have a chance to find out!
Children always come down with bugs at the least appropriate time - it's sods law I'm afraid.

Manictigger · 29/06/2007 12:23

My dd has a diarrhoea bug at the moment and although she seems perfectly alright in her self, I wouldn't dream of taking her to playgroup etc (actually I'm not taking her anywhere at the mo because of the horror of nappychanging) because I have no idea how the bug is spread, how long it takes to incubate etc and it seems totally unreasonable to needlessly inflict this on any other parent. She's not going to suffer by missing playgroup for a week or so.

ELF1981 · 29/06/2007 12:34

If my dd is sick because she has eaten too much / drank too much and been running around like a loon, then the next morning, I'd prob send her to the childcarers. If she has been sick because she is poorly, then she stays at home. There is a difference.

Chicken pox, to be fair, you mostly catch it when you dont know somebody has it. Three kids caught chicken pox at my childminders and they were all infected before the spots appeared. DD who was in direct contact with all three children, did not catch it!

newlifenewname · 29/06/2007 12:44

But how do you know Elf? Does eating and running make you sick?! oops!

LIZS · 29/06/2007 12:46

ah now beign potentially in the incubation period is rather different - the baby may get it or may not. It is contagious only 2 days before spots and about 5 days after(different countries exclude differently though). fwiw I kept ds away from friends when I knew he's been unwittingly exposed from about 10 days to 3 weeks after exposure as everyone had holidays planned and I didn't want to be the one responsible for passing it on. He didn't get it so was probably overcautious!

ELF1981 · 29/06/2007 13:03

lol you can tell with my daughter. When she's sick because she's eaten too much and running around its just the once, not a lot, resembles what went in and once she's finished she's back on her feet running around again

when she is poorly, she's "off" before, really clingy, sick several times exorcist style and shakes afterwards.

Original poster

warthog · 29/06/2007 13:31

well, i'm not really that angry. i'm just frustrated.

OP posts:

morocco · 29/06/2007 13:40

bit confused. has your friends dc got chickenpox and still infectious (in which case outrageous to go out to playgroups) or just been in contact with someone else with cpx and might get it infuture? I've kept my kids away from pregnant friends (and they've returned the favour) when we were waiting to see if the kids would come down with cpx after being exposed but I wouldn't keep them at home for weeks on end just on the offchance.
i always post this, and will do so again, some children have low immunity and catching cpx could be very dangerous even deadly for them. they (we) rely on other parents being considerate and keeping their kids off nursery/playgroup etc if they are infectious
here ends the lecture

frances5 · 29/06/2007 14:27

Sometimes with chickenpox your child can be infectous and you don't know that they have chickenpox because there are no symptoms.

There are often children who have chickenpox who go to playgroup and infect everyone else because no one knows that they have have it. Are the parents of these children unreasonable.

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