Inappropriate interview question, or not?

[Pigletpoglet]

In an interview for a job which involves being away from home 1 night every 2 months.
Background - Earlier in the interview, I had already commented that one of several reasons I had left my old job was that working 60-70 hours per week was incompatible with family life, and I had mentioned that I had a daughter.
I was asked at the end of the interview 'would you have any issues managing the nights away, in terms of your family commitments?'
Were they U or not? (disclaimer - I'm not convinced they would have asked the same question to the 50yr old bloke waiting to go in after me...)

[lostelephant]

Not unreasonable at all. I got asked a similar question when I was fresh out of uni with no commitments at all.

[OVienna]

Reasonable to have asked you, since you volunteered the information that you left your previous job because aspects of it were 'incompatible with family life.'

Clarifying that regular, overnight travel isn't an issue is something that I would expect both men and women to be asked, by the way. It's possible that these days a man would also be asked to clarify whether family commitments could mean that's a problem (both parents work etc.) Slightly dicey in both cases - they should just say: is overnight travel an issue? And leave it there. But once you've raised it, it's out there, so to speak, as a potential problem. I think it would be unreasonable to get defensive about it.

[OliviaStabler]

Sorry to dripfeed, but for context we are talking about 3-4 days work every couple of months, including 1 night away. Not a full time role!

Doesn't matter. I've known employees say 'yes, X is not a problem' then start to find excuses once their feet are under the desk so to speak. You raised work life balance as an issue. It is perfectly acceptable in the light of that for them to check you are aware and happy with the aspect of the job that requires a few nights away.

[MinisterforCheekyFuckery]

They may well have been burnt previously by people accepting job offers, knowing full well what the job description entails, only to start saying "oh I can't do this, I can't do that" because of childcare once they're in post. It happens.

[Teateaandmoretea]

I don't think that's unreasonable.

about the people wittering on about it being unprofessional to talk about other commitments at interview. Erm... interviews are a 2-way process after all and as a candidate you need to know the culture works for you, particularly if you'd be leaving another job.

[Teateaandmoretea]

I've known employees say 'yes, X is not a problem' then start to find excuses once their feet are under the desk so to speak

Now that is unprofessional imo.

[FoxFoxSierra]

I think it's ok as you had already mentioned family commitments being part of the reason for leaving your previous job, I think if a man had said that they would ask him the same question

[caroloro]

Did you get the job? I had to do one midweek night away each fortnight when I had a two year old and a seven year old. It was bliss! Any more and I'd have missed them too much. But honestly......going to bed and getting up ON MY OWN WITH ONLY ME TO GET OUT OF THE DOOR.....amazing!

[Santaclarita]

Fair enough on their part. They may have had someone previously who said it was fine and then refused due to family. You said already you'd had issues with your previous job, they may not want issues with finding cover.

[Santaclarita]

Now that is unprofessional imo.

Happens a lot though. I've seen worse. Seen a man refuse to be trained by a woman and then also state that he is far too good and important to do the job he was hired for. He turned out to be useless of course.

[Puggles123]

They probably would have asked a man as well, maybe they have had a lot of people leave the role due to this and wanted to make sure it had been carefully considered?

[hibbledibble]

I'm surprised you even thought this inappropriate to ask.

As others have said, it is perfectly reasonable to ask someone if they are able to perform all aspects of the role. Just because it is part of the job description, doesn't mean that all people have read it.

It is also very telling on occasion to ask these questions at interview. People may say they are happy with X requirement prior to interview, but give a different answer/contradictory body language at interview.

[DarkDarkNight]

I think it is reasonable if it’s an integral part of the job mentioned in the job description. I was asked at the interview for my current job if late nights and weekends would be a problem.

It’s surprising the amount of people who take on my role and seem surprised when they are put on the rota for bank holidays, lates and weekends when it is something they agreed to at interview.

[RedDrink]

You don't know that they wouldn't have asked if the night away would be a problem regardless of your personal circumstances. Employers usually verify that you are up to all of the tasks outlined in the advert for the job.

You brought up your family which probably caused them to phrase a question differently, that they would have asked anyway.

[BakerBear]

We own a small business and the hours are not family friendly! The pay reflexs this though and people apply for the job thinking its a great rate of pay for what they have to do. When we advertise we are very clear on what hours etc are expected and that the job is time restricting.

I always go into detail about how the job is not very family friendly in the interview and i always ask about childcare at home (i ask everyone this and most of our interviewees are male).

Its really important that people understand that they cannot commit to childcare arrangements working around their partners job as the rota is not set and can change very often and we dont allow people to dictate what hours they work.

If i didnt go into great detail about this then we would end up taking people on, training them and then for them to leave within 6 weeks and say its not what they thought.

[Iwouldratherbemuckingout]

My employer is split site and many roles require travel with occasional overnight stays. We ask every single candidate if they are ok with this, sometimes though will relate the question to something mentioned previously in the interview.

[ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow]

I suspect you are over-thinking this, OP.

DH - a bloke, and well over 50 - was offered a different geographical area to manage when he mentioned that he was the primary carer for his elderly parents with dementia, and how difficult it was talking his father back to bed over the phone at 2am, from a place 4 hours drive away.

I do sincerely hope they asked the 50-year old bloke after you the same question they asked you.

[DLMac]

Don’t know if this has been posted already, but it’s actually illegal to ask questions like that regarding family life etc under the equality act as it protects those who have children/are pregnant from being discriminated against. So although it may not seem unreasonable for an employer to want to check your commitment to the company, they cannot relate it to family so should not have phrased it like that. You’d have a case for discrimination if so. Fingers crossed you get the job, good luck 🤞🏻

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

I've interviewed hundreds and I'm not even convinced that your mention of why you left the last job has anything to do with it

Male or female, it's a question I would (and have) ask any applicant if the job involved nights away

[carly2803]

no....

im pregnant and would expect a role which was family friendly - therefore i expect it to work from both sides...

costs a lot to recruit (i do this) and ive asked people during friendly chats about family commitments/hours available - if it dosent suit my role - why would i hire them?

[WereWolfcub]

If nights away are frequent travel is in the job add it is reasonable to ask so long as the question is asked of all candidates. I ask this in interviews but I ask every candidate and I don’t enquire about family circumstances

[OhTheRoses]

Should have stopped at nights away. But if you'd said I can fulfil that and then backtracked, I'd have been less than impressed and qojld have had your answer documented.

[ILovePierceBrosnan]

I think it’s really important to recruit responsibly which means making sure interviewee completely understands the challenge of the role. Fair question especially as you had already raised family commitments as a factor in your employment choices

[ILovePierceBrosnan]

Same as the roses I too document responses so that back trackers cannot avoid parts of the job they were signed up to upon employment

[Adnerb95]

Appropriate in the light of your mentioning the issue of family and work/life balance.

Also, please try and see it from the employer's perspective (whether male or female candidate). We employed a man in his 30s who used to ring in regularly to ask for time off (paid, not holiday) because of child who was sick- the normal coughs and colds, nothing major.

This was basically because he and his wife had not arranged any backup childcare. If it had been very occasional then fine, but this was about once every 6 weeks or so. Small businesses simply cannot afford that level of absenteeism.

When I was employed with small children I accepted that it was my responsibility to have a support network organised. As a teacher, I had no choice. You - or your child - had to be dying before you took time off.