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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think commuting to London would be miserable?

58 replies

starstarstarstar · 03/08/2018 19:33

I live in the south east, and obviously, many people commute to London for better job prospects and salaries.

I used to get the train to work every day (not to London), and it made me miserble. Sitting on a crowded train after a long day at work, which would probably be delayed, was just crap. And the cost was astronomical.

Therefore, the thought of commuting to London, and god forbid, getting the tube, every day really doesn't appeal at all. I live about 50 minutes away from central London if going by train, but even that seems too much if you have to faff around on tubes.

But the problem is, within the field I'm working in, all the good jobs are in London. I wonder if I'm throwing my career away by not biting the bullet and doing it.

So London commuters - how do you do it? Is it really worth it, or would you rather have less pay nearer home?

OP posts:
someoneseatenmyapple · 03/08/2018 21:10

Give it a whirl. What have you got to lose. Commuted for 11 years. It didn't end well but if you love your job, go for it.

RedSkyLastNight · 03/08/2018 21:13

DH and I have both actively prioritised better quality of life over money and huge career progression. We work close to home so more time with family and no commuting stress. Other people have different priorities.

Pilgit · 03/08/2018 21:19

I commute daily. From about the same distance. Yes delays and issues with the trains are a total drag but I don't mind it. Since I've has kids I love the time to do exactly what I want to do. I read, play games, do admin, knit and sleep -depending on the mood. I always get a train with a seat though - and I won't get on a train without having a seat....

I would say though if you've got children you need to have solid back up plans for childcare as train delays or issues are frequent and can really cause stress if you're not prepared.

It's also worth looking into coaches as there is certainly one From Where I live that is about half the price of the train and is more reliable (according to those I know who get it). My problem with The coach is that I always get sick on them and they don't run late enough for me.

You really do get used to it it you're willing to embrace it!

Believeitornot · 03/08/2018 21:22

I stopped working in London but dh still does. I hated it. Not just the commute but the stress just after a terrorist attack (London Bridge and Westminster) and the stress with bloody delays. With dcs it’s horrible.

So don’t do it if you can avoid. Or go part time and work from home as much as you can.

aperolspritzplease · 03/08/2018 21:24

50min isn't that long!

I commute an hour door to door now and have done up to an hour 30 in the past. I don't know what I'd do for a career if I didn't so it's just a means to an end.

aperolspritzplease · 03/08/2018 21:26

To answer your actual question yes, the pay makes it worth it. Isn't that why everyone does it?!

Believeitornot · 03/08/2018 21:37

I don’t think the pay is worth it to be honest! But I know it’s there if we need if

Kintan · 03/08/2018 21:41

I do 40 mins on a train then a 10 min tube. So so worth it for the job I have which I couldn’t do anywhere else - I either listen to an audio book or read my kindle. It’s fine. Although I am guaranteed a seat on the train each way, if I had to stand it’d be awful!

Kintan · 03/08/2018 21:42

PS I live in zone 6 so on the daily capped travel card rate which makes a big difference.

FatToni · 03/08/2018 21:42

I find these threads fascinating.

I can't think of anything worse than having to commute for 2+ hours a day. No amount of pay would be worth it for me, it would reduce quality of life and work/life balance too much.

Neverender · 03/08/2018 21:44

If it don't have kids and it's doable I would absolutely say yes. The experience and massive companies you'll have access to might mean that you can get a great job locally for more money once you decide to have children (worked for me)!

NicoAndTheNiners · 03/08/2018 21:45

I don’t commute to London but another big city. It’s 1hr, 12 mins on the train then a 2mile bike ride/walk or a bus journey. Even without that last 2 miles I’m finding the commuting hard. Trains are delayed, full, cancelled, uncomfy.

I had visions of reading my kindle, listening to podcasts, etc and relaxing and I do a bit but it doesn’t make up for the fact that I’m late home, have no energy in the evening and it’s killing me.

Am handing my notice in on Monday!

Neverender · 03/08/2018 21:46

It's really just a matter of getting up early and either sleeping or reading your way to work, but once I had DD, there's no way. I used to commute 2hrs in and out and did that fine, but before DC's.

IceCreamFace · 03/08/2018 21:46

Depends on the trainline. If there's a fast train route into London and you can avoid the tube it's not so bad (nice air conditioned journey, usually a seat and very rarely significantly delayed). BUT you'd still need to take into acocunt £7k a year eating into your increased salary. If there isn't a good train line and you'd have to change trains and get the tube then it would be awful yes.

LizB62A · 03/08/2018 21:48

It is miserable, especially on the Central Line - no aircon, it's always so stuffy, and then having to stand most of the way home.....

YANBU

Ratonastick · 03/08/2018 21:49

I’ve done it for years. I hAve 20 minute drive to station, 45 minute train, 20 minute tube. The car is radio time, tube is mindless crap on the phone, train is a useful and productive part of my day. I do life admin, order Ocado, catch up on reading and email, plan my day, etc. I rationalised this into a 45 minute commute and 45 minute normal day. I also try and stay in London and do something social at least twice a month to break it up a bit. It can drag a bit, especially in winter, but I am fairly tuned into it.

I would definitely take a pay cut to work close to home. I’m very very lucky that I have a job that makes hotels and first class travel feasible as it makes a massive difference. Howevr my total commute cost is close to £15k pa all in (parking, train, tube, hotels) so I have to earn £28k at the top rate of tax to cover it. Bonkers really, but I am in an unusual field so all the top jobs are in central London.

Oct18mummy · 03/08/2018 21:54

It is miserable. However I enjoy my job and the company I work for. I use the time to catch up in social media and reading about a book a week. If I could have a job closer to home I’d leave in a heartbeat

yikesanotherbooboo · 03/08/2018 22:01

I only have 25 minute drive but when young I commuted. I think an hour or so plus a bit of a walk is tolerable. You can read, get up to date with news. Listen to audible, do admin tasks etc and in the evening you have truly switched off before getting home. It is much easier on overground imo than tube or driving particularly if battling with crowds on hot stuffy platforms is involved.

pandarific · 03/08/2018 22:02

What do you do? Are you really sure all the good jobs in your area are in London? There are a fair few hubs for different industries dotted about the SE in larger towns, very worth while looking into. And also cities like Brighton and Hove etc.

Personally, I decided to change what I did so I could have a nice life with no commute - I make more money than I ever did and I love it. You really, really couldn't pay me to commute up to London every day - every time I go for a meeting it's one kind of faff or problem or another. That said, could you do it for a fixed time period while you broaden your skillset and then find something closer to home? Might be more bearable if you know you have an exit plan!

CardsforKittens · 03/08/2018 22:03

I used to commute from the south east to central London although it was a few years ago. I actually found it quite exciting, but I'm a bit weird. It helps if you love your job. I don't miss the expense though.

OoohSmooch · 03/08/2018 22:07

I've returned to work after maternity leave into a new job. I can't imagine not working in London (my last job was a bit different with travel around both London and the South East) it's so much more diverse than working 'local' (also a South East resident). I'm working in Mayfair so it's beautiful and while it would be easy to just drive to another job, I only imagine a soulless purpose built office block in a 'business park' just like my first job was after uni. The commute isn't always amazing but I love the hustle and bustle and the walking keeps me fit, driving made me fat (as well as a lot of chocolate post baby!)

CSIblonde · 03/08/2018 22:11

Everyone I work with has a long commute. The ones who get an overground train & its over 1.5hrs are allowed to work at home one day a week: they say its OK as you normally get a seat, can listen to music, read or get your laptop out & do home admin. The ones who tube it, have 2 or more diff line changes & loathe the heat, no seats & violent passenger incidents. They are also allowed one day a week WFH. They all say if it wasn't for the better £ & the one day at home theyd be looking at other options. I'm lucky, 35mins on brand new with air con overground.

PrincessScarlett · 03/08/2018 22:19

Commuting into London can be miserable. I did it for many years. Before kids and when younger it was great to work in London and have access to the night life. If you can get away with not having a tube journey commuting is more bearable.

Positives were:

  • travelling in first class when pregnant
  • having a train buddy to pass the time with
  • reading loads and loads of books
  • the banter and community spirit between other commuters when trains are delayed, although admittedly most of the time commuters don't speak to one another!

Negatives:

  • expensive
  • overcrowding
  • delays and broken down trains
  • other rude and aggressive commuters

I always commuted for the higher salary as a local job would be £15-20k salary drop. I always felt a slave for the higher salary as you get used to the money. However, having left my London job it's the best decision I've ever made and I don't miss the commuting or the money one bit.

If you can survive on a lower salary and not commute into London then that would be my option.

RedneckStumpy · 03/08/2018 22:22

I did it for a year, I loathed every second of it

Emily7708 · 03/08/2018 22:30

I work unsociable hours so travel in to London when everyone else is coming home and normally get a cab home unless the tube is open again. It’s usually bearable but the last couple of months on the Central Line have been almost inhumane conditions. Not much choice though as I’d never get my salary and hours working locally.