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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say a period does not cost £25

881 replies

jinjkl · 28/06/2018 20:53

I hear the story on the radio about MP Danielle Rowley standing up in parliament to speak out about period poverty.

Good on her - it shouldn't be a taboo subject and I feel for the homeless women or those in poverty who cannot afford basic luxuries. But I can't agree with her statement that each period costs £25, and that women spend £500 a year on sanitary products.

You can buy a 20 pack of supermarket own brand tampons for £1 and that lasts a whole period. Even if you buy Tampax you won't be spending more than £3. Sanitary towels are about the same.

You can pick up some painkillers for under £1. I know some women have extreme periods which require prescription medication, but this is uncommon and it still wouldn't cost anywhere near £25.

Some would probably argue it's the cost of replacing soiled knickers, but the whole period poverty campaign is centred around sanitary protection, not giving women women to buy new knickers after a period (I wish!)

I want sanitary protection to be free as much as the next person, but I just can't abide by these exaggerations. Any woman knows they don't spend £25 every month on their period, and if you are spending this much there is something seriously wrong.

OP posts:
jade9390 · 30/06/2018 00:12

She is an MP so must be trying to fiddle her expenses

Graphista · 30/06/2018 00:23

Mummyoflittledragon They are. I was looking it all up in relation to another thread recently. Iirc men twice as likely to get referral to urology as women to gynae.

UnderBlue thanks "Doctors have said everything is normal." What tests, investigations have you had done? That is NOT acceptable. There is a women's health board now in the health section. I honestly don't know what to suggest other than keep pushing for a referral to a gynae. What kind of consultant?

pollypelargonium52 YES it IS necessary for some - as I and MANY others on this thread alone have said, cheaper products are often a false economy for those with heavy/clotting periods - they're not as absorbent so you end up using more. We've ALSO pointed out NUMEROUS times it IS NOT just the cost of sanitary protection.

@LoveInTokyo even IF it's 'just one woman' if that woman has endo/pcos/fibroids/hypothyroidism causing heavy long periods then YES they are needing to spend more than sodding 'thrupence' - as an average I believe £25 could be accurate as at today's prices pre-diagnosis I was spending almost £50 and there are posts I've seen where posters were using more than me at that point too, so possibly £60/70. Your post at 1735 is PARTICULARLY offensive as many of us have taken the time to write posts EXPLAINING how and why it's NOT just pads/tampons but also MEDICATION and not 'just' for cramps - but for migraine, bowel disruption, anaemia and for which otc meds do NOTHING!

"And those that are probably have a medical condition which is making their periods very out of the ordinary." YES - BUT that isn't a SMALL but actually a SIGNIFICANT minority of us, and that this is also happening BECAUSE we're not being taken seriously by Drs, so that it takes YEARS to even get a diagnosis let alone find treatments that work! Seriously - READ THE THREAD PROPERLY.

"Probably because I have not read 19 pages of commentary about sanpro" then why comment and advertise your ignorance? MANY posts by myself and others that for MANY women it IS far more than £2 a month!!

Debating respectfully requires acknowledging your experience is not the only possible experience, and NOT DISMISSING by not even BOTHERING to LEARN/READ what others experience has been.

@queenofthenights @yb23487643 @Sarahrellyboo1987 @formerbabe @theunsure @Yura @thenavigator @mousefunky think you need to READ THE THREAD better, we're not 'snowflakes' we're women suffering when we shouldn't be, sometimes for many years even decades being fobbed off by Drs and dismissed by politicians - and other women! I've collapsed with the pain or blood loss at times and been admitted to a&e. Some women are so unsupported it's making them suicidal. Please have some compassion. And learn more especially if you have daughters PLEASE - my mum had quite light periods and didn't mention anything to me about heavy flow or extreme pain, I still feel she doesn't really 'get it'

@hackmum "unless you've got a serious medical problem." - which many do which often goes undiagnosed and untreated for YEARS!

@bruffin what you are describing is NOT 'the heaviest of periods' and 4 days? Several pps have explained if they have heavy periods they likely last at least a week - heavy every day, and some people up to 2 weeks per period, plus some more women longer than that or the frequency of their periods are such that they're averaging more than 2 weeks pcm.

chanklybore and how are homeless women supposed to manage mooncups and reusable products? When they haven't even faculties or money to do laundry? Also has it been some time since you were on benefits? Because these things are a big initial outlay cost, that's not something people operating week to week to the penny can manage. They can't save.

"there’d have to be a lot of people spending £60-80 a month just to even up my £1 skew, if the £38.46 was accurate." There are! There'd be less if they could get referrals to gynae's and get diagnosis and treatment to reduce flow/length.

"we shouldn't have to live like this!" Agreed - but GP's aren't listening, the govt aren't listening. As I said 14 years, even when I went in as a patient who was a trained nurse I was dismissed as it was put down to me 'suddenly' being aware of the condition through my training. And I'm guessing they thought I was inventing symptoms to fit the diagnosis. Almost all the GP's that dismissed me were men.

"Was it necessary to tell everyone she was on her period" why not? It's what she was talking about. The poor menz won't go up in flames for knowing!

In terms of the pain - I've had a twisted ovary, impacted wisdom tooth, experienced labour, even the pain I get in my spine due to injury from a car accident is LESS painful than my periods even now! I was once chatting with a colleague at work when my period hit, severe instant stabbing pain that made me pass out, she's chatting away and turns to see why I didn't respond and I'm gone! Like SharpLily it wasn't until I was on a monitor and being told that I was even aware I was in full labour - because it was NOTHING in comparison to my usual period pain.

Tammyswansontwo what is happening with how women who have the coil fitted and it then causes problems AND THEY ARE BEING REFUSED REMOVAL is a fucking disgrace! I am SO sorry you went through all that.

Don't even get me started on Essure!

"I honestly despair of some women." Me too!

Also did anyone else notice:

"I went back to see my consultant. He said it was impossible that the coil was causing it but had no interest in finding out why it was happening (because he blatantly knew it was the coil - look at the materials talking about “ensuring compliance” in the early months). He said I had to give it three months" we need more women working in this field. Also, you were in EXTREME pain yet the trials on the male pill were halted - because they couldn't hack the side effects - which were - injection site pain, lower libido, mood swings, acne, muscle aches. Yes cos that's FAR too unacceptable for MEN to have to deal with!

BarbaraofSeville entitlement???? Are you kidding me? No - NECESSITY to function in life - including working and raising children! Cheaper products = less absorbent = end up using more anyway, unless you think women should be permanently dressed in dark colours then those of us with heavy unpredictable periods ARE going to need to replace clothing, EXTREME pain requires stronger medication - that's only available on prescription people keep mentioning prepayment Certs - AGAIN high initial outlay that POOR WOMEN won't be able to cover. (In actuality poor women SHOULD get free prescriptions - but this is yet ANOTHER major issue with UC - until claims are confirmed, and even then women are having difficulty proving to pharmacies that they're eligible for free prescriptions - it's a mess!) again with the mooncups/reusable pads - not affordable or practical for many poor women, and mooncups DO NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE.

Clearly another who hasn't read the thread properly.

"and frankly all the “why don’t you try” or even privilege suggestions are fucking insulting" damn straight they are!!

"exacerbating the poverty experienced by women in comparison to men." Exactly!

"And when you take into account that the recent benefit cuts have disproportionately made women worse off it's a pretty depressing story" women have always been worse off, but yes recent changes have made things much worse!

"My doctor knows. My doctor dgaf" this is the biggest issue as far as I'm concerned

"My iron level dropped to 2 and I was having iron infusions at the hospital but I still couldn’t get a referral to gynaecology!"

"I have been back and forth to the GP and the specialist for 3 years because despite taking the strongest painkillers, I am in complete agony for 2 days" do you have a diagnosis? What investigations/tests have you had done?

  • diagnosis and TREATMENT would save a lot of suffering - and money! If the govt wants to save money on the cost of periods, not just for women but the whole country, I strongly suspect a FORTUNE could be saved by getting GP's to STOP FOBBING WOMEN OFF! Refer to gynae's for diagnosis and treatment. But I'm guessing they won't because it's a high cost short term and would bump up their spending within a parliamentary session.

32 years and counting here of painful, heavy unpredictable periods here. First 14 years at today's prices = over £8k!

"No they're not VAT free. Which is an absolute scandal" agreed.

Period poverty IS a major part of child poverty, girls are missing school because their families can't afford even the cheapest sanitary protection. This has long term effects on their success academically, which then of course means they're less likely to get the better paid jobs/get into higher education. It's why food banks request & are donated sanitary protection, why the red box campaign was started.

redboxproject.org/about/

changedname100 so sorry you've experienced that. I've generally found women bosses more sympathetic and understanding, but everyone's experience is different.

"Ever get the feeling that we still have to battle against tiresome women who find the difficulties other women suffer amusing." It's infuriating! If other women don't listen what the hell chance have we of getting men to?!

"Actually in some cases you can't even work through the pain. Not when you can't stand up because yor legs are jelly, you're throwing up with the pain, shivering violently to the core, and just... mentally in a totally different zone, where all there is is pain. Sort of delirious. And that's with diclofenac and tramadol..." Yep - this was me pre-diagnosis.

Coffeeisnotenough I am sorry you have been through all that and hope you are now being properly supported. But as you know I was responding to you saying you wouldn't have CHOSEN to wear new pants on a period day - so you should know not all women, quite a few in fact don't KNOW when they're going to bleed. So new pants do get wrecked.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe excellent post.

drearydeardre "maybe young girls - although I doubt many have the heavy flow outlined in your anecdotes" why? Mine were heavy and painful from the age of 14, my sister started hers aged 9 - also always heavy.

"I think that's bullshit. If people actually spoke about periods I bet it would surprise you how many women have an awful time and spend a lot." Me too! I think problem periods are FAR more common than is recognised. I have a group of 15 friends that I am close enough to, to discuss this type of thing - only 3 have never had any issues with periods. The rest of us are a mix of endo, hypothyroidism, pcos, fibroids. All of us that did have difficulties have similar experiences in difficulty getting diagnosed. For 2 of them this resulted in hysterectomies 1 of those had 1 child before that, the other has had to face unwanted childlessness as has another who has pcos.

bananafish81 I'm so sorry for all you have gone/are going through. Thank you for your understanding and compassion for those of us with opposite periods to yours.

"Is there any chance that women getting through loads of pads etc are changing them before they need to? I guess this is subjective and it's not meant as a criticism" I doubt it. Certainly for myself based on at my worst the tampon and pad were completely soaked in blood. If I didn't change as frequently as I did I leaked. I've even had tampons fall out because they're so weighed down - certainly it took little more than a tweak on the string and they slid right out.

Currently - can no longer use tampons due to pain. Use always purple (long and highly absorbent with wings) which NEED changing approx 3 hourly, periods now last 8-10 days. The lightest I was long term-Ish - when I was on a (now discontinued) brand of pill continuously - then I was needing same absorbency pads, changed with same frequency but 'only' for up to 7 days. I still bled regularly while pregnant (which was worrying) and bf too. But 'only' for up to 5 days. So Roversandrhodes NO it's not as simple as 'just go on the pill'

"My issue is that if you’re not willing to give a reusable and affordable option a go then you damn well shouldn’t be moaning about the cost of sanitary towel." Jesus! Can you not even get that women in poverty CANNOT AFFORD the HIGH INITIAL OUTLAY - and that they are also likely to be struggling to access facilities to clean/deal with these reusable 'miracles' ?? Just try and look a TINY bit outside your own world. You're also being arrogantly dismissive of those with pain, scarring, abnormally shaped bodies!

"Learn to comprehend written writing." Fuck me! I can't believe you wrote that when you can't even be bothered reading what people are taking the time to write!

"Women in poverty can't afford to pay for the laundry or the water, so pull your head out of your bum and give it a wobble." Hear hear

"This is much bigger than how much we spend on sanitary products" ABSOLUTELY! I too was relieved to have it confirmed it was 'only' endo. That it wasn't as extensive as I feared so I had a chance at becoming a mother.

Graphista · 30/06/2018 00:24

Summary:

For those who can't be arsed to read the thread

DRS OFTEN FOB WOMEN OFF - GETTING DIAGNOSIS LET ALONE A TREATMENT THAT WORKS CAN TAKE YEARS

REMEDIES/TREATMENTS LIKE MIRENA DO NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE THEY CAN EVEN MAKE THINGS WORSE

A SIGNIFICANT MINORITY OF WOMEN SUFFER VERY HEAVY PAINFUL PERIODS PLUS OTHER SYMPTOMS

AS A RESULT THEY NEED TO SPEND FAR MORE ON:

SANITARY PROTECTION (CHEAPER PRODUCTS, REUSABLE PRODUCTS DO NOT WORK FOR MOST OF THEM ) mooncup evangelists - great they work for you, happy for you - but PLEASE stop DENYING other women's experiences!

"Sarahrelly, what an arrogant post. " have to agree

MEDICATION (CHEAPER, OTC PRODUCTS DO NOT WORK FOR MOST OF THEM) NOT JUST FOR CRAMPS BUT ALSO OTHER SYMPTOMS - MIGRAINE, BOWEL UPSET, ANAEMIA...

REPLACING CLOTHES/BEDDING - STAIN REMOVAL ONLY GOES SO FAR - AND EVENTUALLY THE EXTRA WASHING, THE PROTEINS IN BLOOD BREAK THE FABRIC DOWN AND THEY DO NEED REPLACING

Perfectly1mperfect · 30/06/2018 00:32

Graphista

Good summary. AIthough I think many will still ignore and bang on about a £1 Aldi box of tampons lasting them 6 months etc.

I don't know why some women are so desperate to disbelieve other women on this topic.

Yb23487643 · 30/06/2018 00:36

Surely a siginificant minority do spend more but not enough to push the cost of a scheme to introduce free sanitary protection up to £25/woman per month?
OF COURSE you’re right & some people suffer & spend more & their plight should be highlighted, as should the injustice in healthcare, BUT I don’t think potentially incorrectly pricing the scheme will help those who need free sanitary protection...

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 30/06/2018 00:47

Massive standing ovation to graphista

syskywalker · 30/06/2018 00:50

I would just like to say for all the mightier than thous, who keep saying if you go through more then a couple of packs you need urgent medical help! Get your head out of your gluteus Maximus! You have no idea why you’re talking about! Women do to doctors for severe heavy and long periods every day every few months they try everything they give them and guess what it still doesn’t work, short of full hysterectomy!!! And those mighty doctors you talk about will tell women without examination if under say 25-30, you’re too young to have anything wrong! And that’s the gynos not the gps! GPs are clueless and ignorant they think anything is fine even when you’re loosing hair and have other physical signs of anemia because your just in the last dot on the scale of a majorly manipulated normal range!!! And then tell you go buy some iron and vit d over the counter you’re fine! Welcome to the NHS!

Perfectly1mperfect · 30/06/2018 00:52

Graphistas summary post needs to be posted on every page from now on ! Wink

SomeDyke · 30/06/2018 00:55

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou to all you wonderful women!

Despite years of feminism, despite years of bleeding but now heading towards 'the change', despite an exciting lesbian lovelife when I was younger (and now an even better married one)....

I've seen feminist menstrual fashions run through washable pads you soak in a bucket in the loo of your women only house, to natural sponges on a string as a DIY tampon, and now disposables are evil get thee to a mooncup...............

Through all this I've never seen the discussion and the sharing I have seen on here. And that scared girl I used to be shoving toilet papet in her gym knickers too ashamed to tell anyone salutes you all.

Graphista · 30/06/2018 00:58

Neither the MP nor I am proposing such an outlay. BUT it does need to be recognised that for a significant number of women it costs more than 'ha'pence thrupenny' per month.

What would actually be FAR cheaper long term (for the country not just the women!) is if DR'S STOPPED ignoring and dismissing women and instead DIAGNOSED AND TREATED them.

I'd be very interested to calculate - or perhaps there's an mner reading this would know - the cost of NOT diagnosing & treating me to the country.

Pill prescribed from age 14
Migraine medication
Medication to reduce flow
Medication for pain
All the appointments where I BEGGED to be taken seriously.
3 a&e admissions which included uterine scans (which missed the endo because it doesn't show on scans)
SSP at least one day every other month from age 16
Extended sick leave following mc at 18
Hospital admission & treatment for twisted ovary - more time off work.
Hospital admission age 26 for mc/ectopic pregnancy (twins), surgery for the ectopic.
Endo noted further surgery decided upon.
1st surgery - lap to see the extent and to remove.
2nd surgery - some of the endo is on my spine, gynae surgeon didn't want to risk so specialist surgeon called on.
3rd surgery - some endo on bowel, flared up caused rectal bleeding. Surgery to remove that.
Medical treatment for endo makes it a little better.

Gynae - as several other pp's have mentioned - is appalled I was never referred to a gynae by a gp despite 14 years of textbook symptoms as reported by me and on my medical records.

I'm pretty sure referring, properly assessing, diagnosing & treating me would have been much cheaper.

Graphista · 30/06/2018 01:02

Thank you - I'm blushing furiously now Smile

CharlieParley · 30/06/2018 01:03

Wish I was having periods like you OP

Can't use mooncup or tampons thanks to a prolapse after birth of DS2

Now have such heavy periods I have to double pack using the biggest size available, changing frequently, showering frequently, leaking frequently. So much so I avoid leaving the house. I buy pads in bulk whenever they're on sale but no longer trust no name brands - my dignity is worth the extra money.

I never ever want to be where I was ten years ago when this started (unfortunate circumstances including a 4-hour traffic jam and a 20 hour flight. If one could die from shame I really might have done that day.) Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...not that I have one, but you know what I mean.

So £1 per period is an unachievable dream for me. Pads alone cost me about £10 plus all the laundry & toiletries (if you want to include absolutely all of the extra cost, loss of productivity costs me in earnings on those days, too, which takes me well beyond the £25).

Murpher · 30/06/2018 01:06

If you think period/fertile bleeding problems are ignored/misunderstood by GP’s and gynaes, just wait till peri/meno hits. That’s a whole new game of referrals and ignorance. Good luck girls.

Graphista · 30/06/2018 01:11

Murpher I'm just starting down that road and based on previous experience I'm sure your right. So 32 years later facing the same crap all over again! That things haven't improved in 32 years is depressing and indefensible!

I note that not one poster is or has admitted to being a GP! Yet I know that there are must be mners who are GP's who've seen the thread title or possibly even read it.

Murpher · 30/06/2018 01:23

Well, in my experience, once you’re passed being a ‘breeder’ there’s scant interest. I’ve had everything from ‘it’s a natural process, you just have to put up with it’ to ‘these little anti depressants will sort everything’. Nether are true. Do your research, arm yourself with info and don’t take ‘no’ from anyone.

Twotabbycats · 30/06/2018 01:28

I posted earlier about my own experience and the associated costs but what's evident from this thread is the huge number of women suffering unnecessarily with heavy and painful periods because GPs are unwilling to help. Yes the cost is an issue but the pain, suffering and practical problems, including loss of work, are also important factors. How many of us out there have lost years of our lives to 'period problems'?

Could we start some sort of campaign on the back of this MPs comments to try to get doctors to take gynae problems seriously? Is it worth a petition? I feel strongly about this and clearly others do too. @MNHQ would you consider a campaign?

Topseyt · 30/06/2018 03:19

Murpher, a number of us (though by no means all) are perimenopausal. I certainly must be at 51

I've been having these problems for many years though. Perimenopause is probably a big factor, but by no means the only one.

FASH84 · 30/06/2018 04:29

I think it depends, I would need two packs of super tampax, I tend to use the pearl compact as I get leakage with other brands, panty liners, night time pads and some regular tampons for the end of the week, I got really bad cramps, some months, ibuprofen just wouldn't cut it. Add in a couple of boxes of feminax ultra (around £5 a box for 9 tablets) which has an anti-spasmodic and you're easily on your way to £25. I could get the feminax on prescription but it's difficult to see my GP around work and I pay for my prescriptions so it's not cheaper anyway

FASH84 · 30/06/2018 04:32

Oh and an old male GP once told me 'young ladies need to learn to put their feet up at certain times of the month' when I complained about fatigue during periods, I think because of blood loss/not sleeping well and I had a busy professional job. That was in 2014, I changed surgeries.

proudestmumm · 30/06/2018 05:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drearydeardre · 30/06/2018 06:08

Biscuit this thread has gone off the rails - I am out.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/06/2018 06:26

proudestmum
It is nice to hear a male gp take women’s issues more seriously. If / when they ever do in significant numbers, I suspect the nhs will have a funding crisis and a massive backlogue in gynaecology tbh. That’s how little interest is taken in us. As someone said way back, we are seen by most men as a series of holes. So perhaps the message we should take from this and bearing in mind my story, is if you can afford to get yourself checked out and uterus scanned, pay for it.

I was seen by 2 gynaecologists. The first was female and doesn’t specialise in surgery. So I was referred to a male surgeon and he chose to use the pain specialist for his anaesthetist - I have chronic pain. Both guys were absolutely fab. Not a whiff of misogyny between them. As it should be. I actually found the male gynae more thorough and more interested in me. I know he needed to be as he has to operate but the woman was happy to just to give me a mirena coil, which wouldn’t have worked as my uterus was the size of a planet!

I think finally a growing amount of males are taking more and more of an interest in women’s biology and their struggles both in the medical profession and outside. My dh was definitely fab with my sanitary wear. In the last few years, I was too debilitated to deal with the used towels properly so they got dumped in the bathroom bin and he did it without complaint even sometimes peeling them off my knickers for me. I suppose it doesn’t get much worse than dealing with your poo as you’re giving birth and he did that too!

Graphista 👏. Brilliant summary.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/06/2018 06:28

@drearydeardre
Why the biscuit? Of course I’m happy to help impoverished women. 🙄. I give sanitary wear to food banks and would be happy for it to be more formal.

MismatchedStripySocks · 30/06/2018 06:48

I thought she said £500 per year, wouldn’t that be £35-40 per period? Whatever it is, it’s ridiculous and surely it can’t be that much.

SharpLily · 30/06/2018 06:52

Oh my fucking God! Yes, reading a full thread of this size takes time but if you don't have the time to do that, maybe you shouldn't comment? For those saying they can't see how it can possibly cost £25 plus, it has been repeatedly explained on this thread how actually it often does cost that much. Not for everyone, but for a significant percentage, yes. Just accept it.