Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

Overreacting at DH giving out his number to a woman

78 replies

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 15:21

I noticed DH had a text on his phone from an unknown number and I asked who it was from and he told me it was from a customer, he is taxi driver and they got chatting on a run. He didn't text her back and it was a harmless text.

I feel a little betrayed by this and I told him that it's disrespectful to be giving his number out to women that aren't friends. He promised that he was just being friendly and didn't know how to say no to giving his number out. He didn't realise that she probably thought he was interested in her. We talked it out but I feel guilty for being annoyed at this situation.

OP posts:

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:08

@teaandtoast @SuperSuperSuper he is naive and a little too easy going.

OP posts:

Report

robotcartrainhat · 27/05/2018 16:08

You know your husband and we dont.

Is he a dreamy and generally naive person who would think someone just wanted to be friends?

Or is he a bit of a flirter who was on the pull?

Only you can really fathom the answer to that.

If its the first then just tell him that was a stupid thing to do as he doesnt really know her and she may have thought more of it etc

If the second then get actually angry about it

Report

BusterGonad · 27/05/2018 16:10

I'm so sorry everyone, I got the total and utter wrong end of the stick. I'm with you Op, I'd be pretty annoyed. YANBU!!!!

Report

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/05/2018 16:10

Naive or not surely he knows that giving his number out to a woman he's picked up in his taxi is not on?

He's having you on OP.

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:10

@robotcartrainhat he isn't flirty at all he is quite awkward in social situations. He is the first and was surprised that it upset me and apologetic.

OP posts:

Report

robotcartrainhat · 27/05/2018 16:13

raven sorry cross post... well yes then I do think you may have overreacted a bit. If you know he wasnt actually doing it for any nefarious reason but just because hes a bit socially inept then it is a bit harsh to be properly hurt and angry about this.
Just point out to him that as he doesnt know that woman at all she could be an utter loon... you dont give your personal number out to random strangers because it can open up a whole nightmare sometimes it really can. And also that that women may well have taken it as a come on which couldve led to some issues too.

You see I understand this because ive been very naive in the past giving out my number to people ive had nice chats with thinking they want to be friends.... ive learnt the hard way! And its something I can see my DH doing/having done as hes quite naive and trusting too...

Report

velourvoyageur · 27/05/2018 16:17

When I was younger I unwillingly gave my number to men who asked when I felt vulnerable, just wanted to get out of the situation and couldn't think how to do it without pissing them off. Sometimes I would give a fake number (you have to have the presence of mind to give one with the right number of digits) but sometimes my real one just because I couldn't think on the spot.

Obviously this woman probably didn't look like she could pose a safety threat if he said no but I agree with Nike that he could just have wanted to get out of there quickly. At the same time it would be strange for a grown man with a partner not to be a bit more assertive and savvy tbh so could also not be the truth.

Report

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/05/2018 16:18

You seem to defending him now OP, which is strange as you were obviously annoyed enough to post about it.

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:21

Thanks for the replies, I didn't want to be the nagging wife and making something an issue when it's not. I made it very clear that I won't stand for that type of behaviour It's the first time in 4 years where I've questioned if I can trust him. The text was referencing a conversation and he didn't reply.

@robotcartrainhat I do believe that it was innocent on his part because he didn't reply to her. He was shocked and a little embarrassed when I said she could take that the wrong way.

OP posts:

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:22

@GreatDuckCookery I'm a little annoyed but I was more concerned that I was in the wrong for questioning him.

OP posts:

Report

DextroDependant · 27/05/2018 16:24

I would be annoyed too!

Report

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/05/2018 16:25

What did she say?

Report

robotcartrainhat · 27/05/2018 16:29

I dont think its an issue in terms of being able to trust him then. You were right to flag it up with him and warn him how it could be interpreted but id just let it go now and not be hurt or angry about it. You seem to know that he didnt actually mean any disrespect by it, was just thoughtlessness. I dont think you were in the wrong for questioning it as it is a dodgy thing to do even if hes not on the pull. Its not nagging to point out how that couldve gone wrong for him.

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:35

@GreatDuckCookery The text said Donald Forever

OP posts:

Report

gillybeanz · 27/05/2018 16:42

No, I'm with some one, isn't difficult to say.
Mine is constantly asked for his number, due to his work and he says no.
Your dh obviously wanted the woman to have his number

Report

BlueEyedBengal · 27/05/2018 16:48

Wow I would be the same as you, especially since personal numbers were exchanged. A few rules need to be reminded for him as I don't blame you.

Report

BlueEyedBengal · 27/05/2018 16:49

Is his name Donald?

Report

Raven88 · 27/05/2018 16:52

No I think it was a Donald Trump joke

OP posts:

Report

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 27/05/2018 16:52

Donald forever?! Did he say what it meant?

Report

Pengggwn · 27/05/2018 16:52

I wouldn't be happy at all.

Report

happypoobum · 27/05/2018 17:01

Are you SURE it was from a randomer? That sounds like an inside joke.

Is your DH a DT fan LTB ?

Report

Aeroflotgirl · 27/05/2018 17:05

YOu have every right to be annoyed, what a pathetic excuse, I bet he would be annoyed at you giving out your number to random men. He could have told her, that he does not give out his personal details, sorry. I think, he was intending to maintain contact with her, but you seeing the number rumbled his plans. I would watch out.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

Ryder63 · 27/05/2018 17:07

I would have reacted the same. Not on! let's hope your DH now realises the woman is obviously angling for a connection of some kind, and he blocks her.

Report

ShmooBooMoo · 27/05/2018 17:10

Just Donald Forever, nothing else? I would be suspicious and I'm not like that... It's just very odd. How long was this taxi ride that he and a customer could develop such a connection that they are sharing phone numbers and silly jokes by the end? I might sound mad but I'd be wondering if that text was code for something else... Often it's the 'naive' ones that really aren't...

Report

AskAuntLydia · 27/05/2018 17:21

You are not over-reacting and all those people who say your DH is being naieve, are naieve themselves.

If she's a taxi client and asked for his number, he'd have given her his taxi number (work) however naieve he is.

He's given her his personal number because he's planning to have some personal calls from her.

Sorry to sound like a cynical old bat, but this is so fucking obvious and the "nagging wife" threat is a method men have come up with to stop women questioning their questionable behaviour.

There is probably a policy the cab company have, of advising drivers not to give personal numbers out, for their own protection (in case passengers ring them up on Saturday morning in Tesco's, or at 3AM from the airport).

I don't believe your husband.

Sorry OP.