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AIBU?

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Original poster

to report to HMRC?

92 replies

chocchipcookie12 · 25/05/2018 13:04

(new poster, long time lurker)

I have a friend who's lifestyle is really starting to grate on me. Not 100% sure on the details but something seems off to me.

About two/three years ago her and her partner split for a year, I know he did move out then. But he moved back in when she had her youngest who is now about 18months. Since then it would appear neither of them work, both always at play dates etc.

I didn't really care what was going on except yesterday I went on a playdate to her house for the first time and cliché but she's bought the kids loads of toys, new clothes.

I think she must be claiming she is still a single parent with both of them there! It's driving me mad they both there all day long and my partner works long hours to support us and honestly it's not fair.

Do you think this is enough info to report her?

OP posts:
BlueBug45 · 25/05/2018 13:06

You can report to HMRC but they will do SFA. It's the DWP you want and even then they may still do SFA as loads of disgruntled people report others.

Sweatymoose · 25/05/2018 13:10

If he really is living there then she's committing benefit fraud. But if he's just around a lot and not sleeping there more than once a week then there's nothing wrong even if it seems a bit unfair, but if they don't work naturally he should spend as much time with his kids as possible.

Original poster
chocchipcookie12 · 25/05/2018 13:16

He definitely lives there. They don't try to hide that at all.

She did go through bad PND when she had her youngest which I know because she posted something on Instagram. Tried to nosy again but think she deleted it. That's when he moved in I think. Don't think it's relevant now though, she seems fine.

Thanks for tip on DWP/HMRC though they were the same thing, ha.

OP posts:
waffleswithnutella · 25/05/2018 13:23

Live and let live. Reporting them won't improve your life.

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 25/05/2018 13:23

MYOB

StormcloakNord · 25/05/2018 13:27

Oh look another lets assume someones on all the benefitz and chastise them.

A, it's none of your business. B, it's none of your business and C, it's none of your business.

If she's playing the system then meh she's not the first, certainly won't be the last and reporting her won't improve your life. If you're that wound up about it get your OH to quit his job, pretend to kick him out and start claiming all those fantastic benefits and buy the shiny new flat screen TV you want. Hmm

freddiepurrcury · 25/05/2018 13:28

Why would it benefit her to claim as a single mother when he is not working? Surely they’d only end up better off if there was a wage coming in as well as single parent benefits. If you are part of an unemployed couple, you would be better off claiming together.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 25/05/2018 13:29

Do you think if they are on benefits her kids can't have new clothes and toys?
When I was on benefits a few years ago, I was careful with money and we could still afford things.
Unless you are 100% sure, then yabu.

Elliss2018 · 25/05/2018 13:30

You've said yourself that you're not 100% sure anyway. Mind your own business! Hate busybodies Angry

BaronessEllaSaturday · 25/05/2018 13:30

Report what? You don't know that she's fraudulently claiming anything you are just assuming. You don't mention knowing that she claims anything at all the truth is you don't know where her money comes from.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 25/05/2018 13:30

And above poster is correct. Two adults claiming together will get more than a single adult.

itallhappensforareason · 25/05/2018 13:31

If person is a friend why would you want to report them? There are measures you can take before resorting to that... speak to her about it? I personally wouldn't report and would keep my nose out of other peoples business.

Original poster
chocchipcookie12 · 25/05/2018 13:33

I see your point, I don't know everything or really how the system works.
Just seems odd that she can afford this stuff. And when I say new I'm not talking primark some of these clothes must be £30 a pop

OP posts:
Helpimfalling · 25/05/2018 13:34

Your not a nice friend I get it's frustrating but wtf don't do that to your friend if she's meant to get caught out she will but be her friend

Potatolove19 · 25/05/2018 13:36

So people on benefits regardless of reason why are not allowed to buy toys or clothes for their kids??? We are by no means rich and live pay cheque to.pay cheque but keeping an eye on sales and deals and being carefuo meanse our kids dont go without! You are being unreasonable. If youdont like it dont be friends with her. You are just judgey

Nicknacky · 25/05/2018 13:40

They could be second hand, a family member might have bought them or alternatively, it's none of your business.

I'm sad for your friend that she invited you in and you are acting like this. Reporting her partner isn't going to stop your partner needing to work less hours or help him earn more.

viques · 25/05/2018 13:42

If a life on benefits is so much better then I suggest you tell your OH to jack in his job and get your claims in fast.

Enjoy your AI break in Teneriffe over Christmas hun!!

lubeybooby · 25/05/2018 13:46

well I am home all day and so is my DP but we both work from home and don't claim a penny so just make sure your fact are right before you go off on one

freddiepurrcury · 25/05/2018 13:47

I agree with everything PP have said. I was on benefits at a difficult point in my life but I have a generous family including my mother who voluntarily pays for all of her grandchildren’s shoes and to be honest a lot of their clothes. This could be the case for your friend. You would be extremely unreasonable to report her, especially as you have admitted that you don’t know how the system works!

mostdays · 25/05/2018 13:47
Hmm
Vickster99 · 25/05/2018 13:47

OMG OP! Are you a DM reader by any chance? Based on your description this person is not your friend, she in an acquaintance.
You have no confirmed information about her finances, whether they are on benefits, whether one of them might work part time, work night, run a business etc. Perhaps one of them inherited money?
Or maybe they are running a secret crime den and drug dealing operation? Gosh OP< why stop at the HMRC/DWP - report them to the police because people that might not work happen to have some nice things!!

Fluffycloudland77 · 25/05/2018 13:48

I’d report.

Mil wondered how her ndn afforded their lifestyle for years, turned out she claimed as a single parent for 10 years fraudulently. That’s 10 years she stole taxpayers money.

When she was caught she claimed she’d forgotton they’d got back together.

BlooperReel · 25/05/2018 13:48

You don't know for certain she is claiming a bean. Her partner may work nights, or odd shifts, they may be claiming benefits as a couple, grandparents or family may have gifted new toys, one of them may have had a whopping tax rebate given the time of year it is. You don't really know anything but are putting two and two together and coming up with five.

Do not damage your friendship out of bitterness. If they are de-frauding the system, they wlll get caught out eventually without your interference.

Storm4star · 25/05/2018 13:48

If neither are working and both claiming benefits then, at most, they are getting maybe an extra £20 a week. Claiming as a couple gives you just a bit less than claiming as two singles. Different if he or she was out working and the other not, but you said neither work.

The toys and clothes could have come from any source.

peterpiperpickle · 25/05/2018 13:48

How much do you think people on benefits receive op? No matter if she is tricking the system she'll only be getting enough to get by and certainly not enough to splash on lavish gifts and toys. Chances are they were gifts and you don't know what goes on behind closed doors, she could have a perfectly valid reason for not working