to report to HMRC?

[chocchipcookie12]

(new poster, long time lurker)

I have a friend who's lifestyle is really starting to grate on me. Not 100% sure on the details but something seems off to me.

About two/three years ago her and her partner split for a year, I know he did move out then. But he moved back in when she had her youngest who is now about 18months. Since then it would appear neither of them work, both always at play dates etc.

I didn't really care what was going on except yesterday I went on a playdate to her house for the first time and cliché but she's bought the kids loads of toys, new clothes.

I think she must be claiming she is still a single parent with both of them there! It's driving me mad they both there all day long and my partner works long hours to support us and honestly it's not fair.

Do you think this is enough info to report her?

[AjasLipstick]

How can people even be FRIENDS with people they think this sort of thing about??

WHY do you go there and be all fake OP? When really you're thinking this? It's frigging weird!

[poobumwee]

Seriously! Just leave it. It really is none of your business. You reap what you sew in life. Alot of the time karma balances stuff out.

[OohMavis]

Wah, they have more stuff than me, it's not fair, waah.



Some friend you are.

Perhaps they don't pay their bills, perhaps they're in debt up to their eyeballs, perhaps they're just better with money than you and can afford it, perhaps it's all gifts. Or maybe they're cheating the system.

Either way it's none of your business, and it won't improve your life at all to report them. What a petty way to think.

[freezerfoodyum]

Wow wind your neck in.

[chocchipcookie12]

For everyone saying I'm a shitty friend, I am certainly not! Mostly we do playdates for the kids, it's not like she is my best mate or I would know what was going on.

I won't report her as like people have said I don't really know what's going on, but I doubt either of them work
Just shocked that they seem so well off.

[mholz]

Why don't you just ask her since you are so curious, you could learn a thing or two. It will also prove that you are good friend rather than assuming she is all on benefits. She might have rich parents, sugar daddies etc. Only report her when you have proper evidence if not I will like HMRC to name and shame you for being a "busybody".

[thethoughtfox]

You want to report your friend who seems to be great parent always taking their child out on playdates because you are jealous. It's OK to feel envious of others but to want to destroy her happiness doesn't make you a great friend.

[AjasLipstick]

It's not like she's my best mate

No but she's someone who invites you into her home and trusts you.

Whilst you think spiteful things about her.

Sometimes I think I must be naive....people are so cold and frigging awful!

[AnnieOH1]

Or maybe one of them has a disability and the other is their carer...

[NameChangedForThisQ]

Seriously sort out your jealousy and learn that friends do not report each other to government agencies

[MumofBoysx2]

'you think she must be claiming'. You don't have proof, be very careful. If you have absolute proof and they are being fraudulent then it affects all of us tax payers and I absolutely would report her. Just be sure!

[freezerfoodyum]

If you have absolute proof and they are being fraudulent then it affects all of us tax payer

Does it? We pay taxes anyway. My taxes are spent on all sorts of things I'd rather they weren't but there you go.

[StarUtopia]

People think we have money because my kids are dressed in Boden etc not supermarket things.

What they don't realise is that they've paid more for their brand new Tesco t-shirt than I've paid for my second hand Boden t-shirt off eBay...

MYOB! All the 'new' things could be presents for all you know.

[bevelino]

OP, it is unjustified and a complete waste of time to report someone to HMRC based on the information you describe in your post.

[Merryoldgoat]

People never knew how poor we were growing up because my grandmother clothed me. We were utterly broke.

You have no idea about her circumstances. You aren’t very nice.

[PositivelyPERF]

You really are behaving like a nasty piece of work, OP. Leave the woman alone and mind your own business. You say you’re not ‘best mates’, you’re absolutely no kind of friend, but you’re behaving like a horrible, envious, creep.

[bassackwards]

OP you sound jealous and vindictive. Do you think the HMRC will spend its resources acting on your hunch? And if they do, will make you feel better about yourself?

[RideOn]

All you know is she had PND and relationship problems. Now her child has some new clothes and toys. You are not even sure whether he works!
This is not enough to go on.
I think you should take a step back, you aren't really friends if you don't even know the details but are thinking of reporting her.

By all means report if you have something to go on.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

OP: I don't know anything about my 'friend's' life other than she seems to be at home a lot and she bought some stuff that I would like too. Her OH is at home a lot too. SHOULD I REPORT THEM TO SOME VAGUE AGENCY THAT PUNISHES PEOPLE I THINK SHOULD HAVE LESS THAN ME?

MN: erm.. NO, what for?

OP: Stuff. Y'know STUFF. A feeling.

FFS.

[Monday55]

Could it be gift from relatives? Maybe the grandparents are writing them a cheque monthly to help them with their situation ?

If it was a close friend of mine I wouldn't report them as I'd probably understand their situation a lil bit more than you do.

She can't be that much of a friend if you feel this way about her. If it was your mum or a sibling of yours would you still report them ??

[HoneyBadger32]

I had a (relatively) small lottery win 2 years ago. No one but my parents, brother and partner know about it. Possibly not likely, but a possibility that there is something beyond benefit fraud. I second all others who say keep out of it. If you don't want to be friends, don't be.

[pacer142]

Live and let live. Reporting them won't improve your life.

Just out of interest would you report any other kinds of suspected crime, i.e. if you thought you saw someone stealing a car or breaking into a house or assaulting someone? Reporting those kinds of crime wouldn't "improve you life" either!

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

You don't know, so why would you report. Making their life harder will not improve yours. You don't know where the toys came from. Could have been passed on by relative/friend. If you can't stand it you should end the friendship. You'd be doing her a favour.