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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask the best dog breed for a child with autism

108 replies

Caterpillarx1 · 22/04/2018 12:36

Looked in to getting a service/therapy dog for my son whos almost 5, non-verbal, Can’t be left unsupervised for a second, without going in to too much detail he goes to a special school and is “low funtioning” all the waiting lists are too long and not taking on anymore applicants. And the price of £6k we were quoted just isn’t affordable for us.

I was thinking of getting a dog ourselves and doing some training courses.
Whilst we’re out he gets very happy is he sees a dog. I feel like it would offer him some emotional and practical support and really encourage him/ bring him out of his shell.

Has anyone else got a dog for their child with autism? I was thinking labradoodle? Or golden Labrador? I did hear vizsla’s are good but after doing some research I’m unsure now. I’m a stay at home mum btw so it wouldn’t be left at home alone. AIBU to want to get him one or am I going to have a dog pooping around the house and making my life even harder?

OP posts:
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Fallofrain · 22/04/2018 14:29

Hello, I foster dogs for rescues so have had a wide range of breeds. This might sound negative but I hope it's realistic

As you've said you clearly don't have time for a puppy. The toilet training etc will take a lot of time and energy. I would recommend that you look at the puppy threads on the doghouse section of mums net. Also i would be concerned about mouthing and Nipping. Pretty much all younger (under 12 months) dogs will go through a stage of mouthing and nipping. Depending on the dog, depends how long this lasts. Anything with a Labrador etc in it expect lots of mouth related behaviour. I would be concerned that once a dog nipped your son in play, your son might develop a strong fear reaction and be unable to tolerate the dog

Each breed matures differently but I would expect a lab for example to be in the naughty adolescent period until around two. This might mean stealing things, being really bouncy and generally a teenager. Would your DC tolerate a young dog stealing a toy that's laying around or being pushed out the way?

I'd not recommend shepherd breeds for the tendency to herd and as a result nip. Anything high energy that doesn't get an outlet for this is likely to become an issue. Take border collies and some spanials etc, crazy intelligent but can be bored stiff by domestic life. Dogs like that are built to work on a farm or chase things all day without becoming tired, that means they may be overwhelming in a home environment.

Romanian dogs etc often come without a history. The rescues homing them tend to be less strict around rules about being left or childrens ages etc so lots of people chose them. However they are often a complete unknown. A dog that is found on the street has a whole history of scary things that no one knows. If it's never been around children, in a house, or a pet then it's likely to take a long time to settle. For example we had one that barked non stop at photos because he has no concept of what they are, he is very traumatised by his past and despite being exceptionally behaved now he has quirks such as hating football's that must stem from way back when. I'm also sceptical when a street dog who had never been in a house before is rehomed by a rescue as being good with kids etc.

What is recommend is figuring out what are your deal breakers. E.g. could your son tolerate barking? Can you tolerate having long walks whilst dc is at school? What kind of play are you looking for?

Ultimately it will be your dog and what happens if son doesn't like dog or if dog doesn't like son (I don't know what home is like but a child that's noisy, unpredictable, plays too rough or volatile might mean the dog doesn't like them or in a beat case scenario is simply not interested.)

There's lots to think about and I hope that you find something that the right fit :)

steff13 · 22/04/2018 14:37

I’m shocked you guys said steer away from the doodles.

Ours is. 🤷 She's a labradoodle and she lets our daughter dress her up, hang on her, all sorts, and she just lays there. Conversely, my friend's retired Greyhound attacked her son unprovoked, and I had another friend with a Great Pyrenees who did the same. Sometimes it's down to the individual dog.

Fallofrain · 22/04/2018 14:46

Birdsgottofly: Please look into Romanian rescues. We foster a UK charity and end up with a lot of rejected abroad rescues. Firstly there's a lot of charities/business out to make a quick buck from this, charge lots of fees in a similar way to a breeder. Most take little responsibility for the dogs when they are homed in the UK and once they are here they become the owners problem with little support

Secondly they tend to not check homes/allow dogs to be left for far too long. This makes them attractive to more people but in general there's a reason why some rescues won't home. Our current two are both from abroad brought over. One from Spain given to a family with many dogs that would have triggered flags in a British rescue. Second is Bulgarian and homed to a home that were out too much and not in a position to train a young boisterous dog. Neither would have been given a dog in the UK.

Thirdly.: they are over optimistic about the dogs temperment. Think of the life of a street dog, they fight to survive with little positive human interaction. However weirdly they seem to be marketed as kid friend or friendly with other pets. A dog who has never been in a house, will have little manners, no toilet training etc. To market them as easy dog is unfair. Of course our current one destroyed their kitchen etc, he doesn't have a clue what is going on! He spent his life with rocks being thrown at him, loud noise scares him, he was beaten etc but marketed as being good with children.

I'm not saying this is the case constantly. Some charities are doing really good work with them but I get worried when people assume they will be much easier.

Caterpillarx1 · 22/04/2018 14:48

I’m just wondering why everyone’s said definitely not a vizsla? On one of the funding websites I saw a little boy was awarded some funding for a viszla and read a few things about them being perfect for autistic children as they stick with the child, etc?

OP posts:
Runninglateeveryday · 22/04/2018 14:50

Op I mean this in the best way possible but be extremely careful , it's a nice idea and your Ds may love dogs but living with one is different . My DD could not bear the barking due to sensory issues, id spend Lots of time with dogs first see how he reacts if someone knocks on the door for instance !

Don't get a puppy they are bitey and it hurts!

I find golden retrievers lovely and gentle .

Piffle11 · 22/04/2018 14:53

You seem to be only thinking about a dog, but if you've never owned one I don't think you can possibly imagine the hard work they can be to train them to do what you're expecting/wanting ... get a cat!! Have you checked out Iris Grace, the young ASC girl who paints? She got a Maine Coone cat a couple of years ago, and they are best of friends. The cat even gets in the bath with her (Iris hated bath time previously). Iris is about 9 now I think, and I think non-verbal or limited vocabulary. Even if you don't want a cat, her page (well, her mother's) on Instagram is worth a follow.

jammiebammie · 22/04/2018 15:03

We have a Labrador, and he has been amazing for our dd who is disabled and autistic. BUT it’s extremely hard work, and I honestly think when he was a puppy it was harder than having a baby! They need so much time, effort and attention. I really wish we had gone for a therapy dog, who would have been trained and properly suited before coming to us.
There are companies who can help with intensive training courses for dogs to help the disabled, we have worked with ADUK who have been amazing, but ultimately the hard work is down to us to do.
There are also charities than can help with funding for assistance dogs, please do lots of research before considering adding a dog to your family.
They can be so rewarding and the difference to our dd has been amazing and it’s beautiful to watch their bond, but there are so many downsides too.
Good luck.

Rawhh · 22/04/2018 15:08

@Caterpillarx1 Viszlas are working dogs. They are high energy. They are also very intelligent.

This means in principle with alot of training and a lot of exercise they could be excellent therapy dogs however from your posts you seem to lack the time or experience to ensure this is so.

Caterpillarx1 · 22/04/2018 17:47

Thank you so much for the replies. I’m so glad I posted on here for some advice, you guys are amazing Flowers after reading through them all, your right. I don’t have the time or correct knowledge to train a puppy. It will either have be a therapy dog, already trained and suited to my son or nothing.

Il look in to funding options and guide dogs that failed, or retired. Again, thank you all!

OP posts:
FreudianSlurp · 22/04/2018 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pippiphooray · 22/04/2018 18:03

I have no experience with assistance dogs, however, we have a gorgeous Golden Retriever and 2 small children. He’s totally chilled and amazing with the kids. He has only just chilled out though, he’s 3. They need constant company...and consistant training.

Notevilstepmother · 22/04/2018 18:06

I would agree that collies might not be good but German Shepherds are a possibility to look into. Very trainable and generally very good with kids.

Notevilstepmother · 22/04/2018 18:09

Collie German Shepard cross would worth considering if you get a calm one.

84CharingCrossRoad · 22/04/2018 18:11

Read this book..... A Friend Like Henry It's inspiring!!!

Notevilstepmother · 22/04/2018 18:13

4pawsforability.org/autism-assistance-dog/

Orchardgreen · 22/04/2018 18:15

Please be careful about private companies who claim to provide therapy dogs. The problems with these are well documented.
Have you considered applying to adopt a retired Guide Dog? They are wonderful with children and teenagers with SN, so calm and well-behaved.

84CharingCrossRoad · 22/04/2018 18:18
Orchardgreen · 22/04/2018 18:18

Sorry, I see that others have suggested a retired GD. Here is mine.

To ask the best dog breed for a child with autism
jammiebammie · 22/04/2018 18:20

Good luck to you, I hope you find the perfect dog for your family.
Just adding a couple of pics to show the bond my dd & dog have.. he always sleeps with dd when she’s ill and seems to sense when she’s having a bad day. When he got the snip my dd actually lay with him and showed empathy which was amazing.

To ask the best dog breed for a child with autism
To ask the best dog breed for a child with autism
To ask the best dog breed for a child with autism
FreudianSlurp · 22/04/2018 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2018 18:24

As long as op understands what she is getting herself in for, and knows that it would be in affect like another child, it is fine. My friend was not a dog owner ever, even as a child no dogs, but she has done amazingly well with her golden lab puppy, you just have to be calm and patient, and she has oodles of that, I think her dog picks up on her vibe.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2018 18:25

Loving your doggy pictures, we are thinking of getting one, but not until ds 6 is older, as he is like a puppy himself and quite hard work, as well as dd 11 who has ASD.

misspopsicle · 22/04/2018 18:33

I have an autistic DS. We got a retired greyhound 4 years ago. It didn't work out as she couldn't cope with my son's unpredictable behaviour. It broke our hearts, but we had to return her within in month. Now, we have 2 cocker spaniels. They're fab with him (show type is calmer than worker).

sharkirasharkira · 22/04/2018 20:11

We used to have a Great Dane but she sadly passed away last year. She was an 'unoffical' therapy dog for my 'low functioning' DS. He really didn't get on with bouncy, jumpy breeds so she was perfect - docile, low energy, didn't need a lot of walking or grooming and they love to be around people so she had a sort of sixth sense for DS and would automatically stay between him and any obstacles (road, etc) when we went out. Trained easily but not so intelligent that she got bored and destructive when left home alone for a couple hours like, say, a husky would.

Such a beautiful, gentle, perfect dog. I miss her so much and she was so brilliant for DS Sad

BabychamSocialist · 22/04/2018 20:18

DS2 is on the spectrum but not as severe as your son. We've had a variety of dogs (and cats) over the years and the two he has the closest bond with were the Golden Retriever and the German Shepherd we have now.

Small dogs tend to be quite yappy and unpredictable, where as a properly trained retriever or GSD can be very calm and laid-back.

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