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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

feeling that tax credits are totally biased towards working mums?

572 replies

Dragonhart · 13/05/2007 15:23

I am a SAHM and I get the min working tax credit as my DH earns just over the min for getting more help.

I was talking to my friend yesterday who works 4 days a week as a teacher (their combined salaries are just below the top of the band of getting any money) and I was saying what I got now we have two children. I get just over £40 plus about £40 baby element. When dd is 1 and I have two under 3 I will get £40.

She told me that she gets about £160 a months towards childcare in vouchers on her and her husbands paypacket (not sure if this is classed as tax credit?) and £75 permonth for her only ds in tax credits.

I am not making a coment about whether or not people choose to work as I stongly believe that everyone should have a choice to do what is right for them.

I just think that I should be supported in the same way as working mums. Surely I am my childrens 'childcare'?

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 15/05/2007 18:35

My DD was a nightmare I read all those books with newborns sleeping 20 or so hours in a day... and mine did 10 at most - in 2 45min slots during the day, and the rest at night (often broken). She stopped daytime naps at about 1 and then started sleeping about 11 1/2 hours - but that still gave me no break during the day.

With all of it its not a case of who can do what when - the break is the important thing. If you don't have a break from everything you have to do at some point then you will not be happy whatever you are doing.

Believe me, I have been all 3 kinds of mum, and ime they all have equal amounts of good/bad points.

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 18:36

thed, couldn't they do that in other ways? Just say unearned income is treated differently.

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 15/05/2007 18:36

Exactly dogs bol! I work extra hard at work so I can be home in time to give ds and dd tea and put to bed - then I start with household stuff before i CATCH UP ON ANY OUTSTANDING WORK BEFORE i FALL EXHAUSTED INTO BED. i FELT LESS PRESSURED WHEN ON 1YR MAT LEAVE BECAUSE at least then I could try and keep up with putting washer on - pegging drying out ect. (sorry about capitals!!!)

duchesse · 15/05/2007 18:39

Flamesparrow- only one of my three children (the last one) has EVER slept more than 12 hours in 24. My son was a 9-10 hours a day man from day one. Sleeps as much now (10 hours tops, most often 8-9), at nearly 14, as he did as a baby and toddler.

beckybrastraps · 15/05/2007 18:41

I don't get the whole 'lunch break' thing for SAHPs. I cannot see it as work.

beckybrastraps · 15/05/2007 18:44

And of course you have more time to get household things done as a SAHP. Even if you don't always use that time....

ScummyMummy · 15/05/2007 18:47

I think some people on this thread are having a bit of a me me me fest and totally missing the point of working tax credit. Policy wise, it's not about well off people at all really. It's about making work pay for the poorest families. Why? Because parental employment- having at least one adult in, ideally, full-time work and preferably two- has been shown by research to be a major determinant of financial stability and well-being for low income families. It's associated with positive outcomes for children including better health, better educational achievement and more secure financial well-being as adults. Work is not a get out of poverty free card but it's definitely a good chance/community chest card.

MrsWho · 15/05/2007 19:03

paulaplumpbottom - not all jobs get a lunch break

And on the sleep commetn I have a 5 yo and the most she ever has slept in one go was about 10 hours , she is on about 6-7 tops atm

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 19:04

That's true. It replaced.. trying to remember the name now... a benefit for the lower paid who went back to work and I suppose after a very long gap replaced the old child tax allowances I think my father might have got in the 1960s along with unlimited mortgage tax relief and pension contribution relief.

MrsWho · 15/05/2007 19:04

well said SM

amidaiwish · 15/05/2007 19:04

this thread was really interesting for a while

now it's about whose child sleeps the least, who doesn't get a break and who has the hardest lives.

oh please.

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 19:13

We need my sister on this thread. She is the most accomplished person I've ever met at having the hardest life.

MrsWho · 15/05/2007 19:16

I always had you pegged as an only Xenia

MrsWho · 15/05/2007 19:18

There used to be a benefit 'family credit' (that was pre-my-family) is that what you are thinking of xenia?

I'm not saying I have a hard life just that I don't earn enough

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 19:24

..you can never be too rich or too thin...

Yes it might have been family credit and I think something else before that. Family income supplement?

ScottishThistle · 15/05/2007 19:25

You can never be too rich or too thin!?!

What have I walked in on here, surely that's a joke!

MrsWho · 15/05/2007 19:32

I'm never going to be either

Flamesparrow · 15/05/2007 19:33

Hmm... too thin = death.

franca70 · 15/05/2007 19:35

Totally agree with scummymummy.

MeAndMyMonkey · 15/05/2007 19:42

Thanks all for advice. I am still fricking confused though. In real life am not remotely stupid, it's just forms!! Aargh.

Not being competitive, but I am trying to work at home (am a writer) with a 6mth old baby, without a childminder... am I insane/stupid/asking the impossible? I probably should ask on another thread, sorry for hijack.
On a similar note, I read that Laura Ashley used to put her kids to bed at 4.30pm so she could get on with some work. Good parenting or patently bonkers?

Oh well, time for wine .

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 19:46

Just joking.... but money is never enough, is it whatever you're on for most people.

"No woman can ever be too rich or too thin", Wallace Simpson, early 1930s

Yes, the forms are complex. They probably do it to put people off. Would be simpler to say anyone earning under £10k pays no tax or something simple like that but they don't.

Judy1234 · 15/05/2007 19:49

6 months... probably possible. Write as much as you can before it gets mobile and you're chasing it round the house and it's running away laughing on all fours. The twins used to go in different directions but one had a defective crawl so was easier to catch.

But I can't think or concentrate with anyone in the room so having some help does help. I've had stages when I got up at 5am on Saturday to work for 3 hours or every night 8 - 12. You can make time if you really want to do things. I was just talking to my sister about it who has "no time" evre but she gets herself ready and into bed about 8.45pm and reads. If she really wanted to get rid of her backlog she could do 2 hours work on it every night.

amidaiwish · 15/05/2007 20:10

DD2 didn't start nursery until she was 10months and even then it was only half days for a few months more. I did plenty of work from home from when she was about 5 months and i had stopped bf.

monkey - does she go down for a good stretch in the day? DD2 did which let me sort my head and really make progress / set myself up, then i did "bits" whilst she was happy in her bouncer chair / play mat etc. which although only in say 15-20 minute bits, there were enough of them in the day.

you do have to totally forget the housework though!

MeAndMyMonkey · 15/05/2007 20:28

Xenia, I agree re your sister... there is time in the day (evening?) to do what one wants, but for me it's hard to sit down and work per se. Psychologically I cut off by then, if that makes sense?

Ami, she will sometimes have an amazing 1-2 hour kip in the day, and the odd stretch in a bouncer etc, but it really is just a case of fitting in bits and pieces of work now and then. As Xenia said, you need full concentration really, so it's kind of hard.

Forgetting housework is the trick, I know. I'm a little bit anal about having a tidy/clean house but it's still a complete mess anyway, so maybe I should just give in gracefully and accept the cat hair et al. I'm a maximalist (as opposed to a minimalist) so plenty of clutter here. And I don't iron!

amidaiwish · 15/05/2007 20:45

i know - i used to live in a minimalist, spotless one bedroom flat.

now i live in a tip
total chaos
kids have commandeered the front "adults" room into a playroom
have a big kitchen/living/diner which is just one big messy room
and as for upstairs, well let's put it this way, beds get made by the cleaner and that is it. awful.