To ask about your pelvic floor postpartum?

[filou87]

Hi I am looking for advice from other people who have experienced similar births please. sorry it's a long post!

I am 31 and 7.5 weeks postpartum with my first child. It was a 44 hour labour, my waters went naturally I was induced as I did not progress past 2cm dilated. My little girl got distressed, she was back to back with her hand up and I could not deliver her so she was delivered with forceps. I sustained a 2nd degree tear internally and an episiotomy. My stitches ruptured but my episiotomy has since granulated. I had an infection in the internal tear as well as the episiotomy which cleared about two weeks ago. I had some incontinence during my week in hospital- bladder and bowel-and then my bladder was found to be retaining which meant I had a catheter for two weeks.

I have had two episodes of incontinence in the last fortnight, urinary, also if I need to poo I have to get to the toilet urgently.

My husband and I had sex for the first time since birth a few days ago. It was absolutely mortifying for me. Sorry for TMI... I was very tight before giving birth and could clench my husband extremely hard. However now my vaginal walls feel very weak and I am struggling to feel much at all when I when I do my kegels or during sex. There was little sensation for me during sex which was so distressing for me. My husband came but it took him longer, he swears I feel almost the same as before and that it was because I put a lot of lube inside that it took him longer to come.

I have an appointment with a women's health physio next week. I am doing my kegels religiously, even though I can't feel much, this seems to be helping keep control of my bladder but I am so worried about recovery. I know it's early days but we had a fantastic sex life before and I am so scared it's over.

Please can you share your experiences and advice.

Mine didn't start to get better until about 12 weeks pp. Keep doing the exercises!

Um, well, I never tried sex at 7 weeks.

It's very early days. Do you want to have sex right now?

Ps I had a very similar birth experience to you

Hi, yes very much, needed to reconnect with DH on that level after all the trauma we've been through with birth and DD in neo natal unit at start. DH is lovely and scared of hurting me, so no pressure there.

It's going to take a while for your body to repair itself after a traumatic birth. I wouldn't presume that any physical differences are necessarily going to remain for the long term.

I had similar (2nd degree tear with episiotomy, but without the after complications) and mine took weeks to heal. I could hardly sit down 8 weeks pp so there was no way on hell's Earth I was contemplating sex, so can't compare that experience I'm afraid. It was 12 several months before I was ready for that and yes, things weren't quite the same as before.
The exercises do help - keep at them.

I had incontinence after both my dc. Pelvic floors alone made it better but not completely so I bought a Kegal 8 machine and its fab. My DH said the same as yours but I was convinced I was very lose as no sensation. Anyway in the k8 book it talks about nerve damage post partum and loss of sensation. Being stretched and loss of nerve sensation is not thw same thing and the K8 machine has a setting that deals with this. Its a lighter setting that almost feels like a little massage. The machines however are not cheap but I have seen them second hand (sounds gross but the probes can be bought seperately so can be replaced) There are also other brands that vary in price.

Agree with star girl.

My experience was similar although not the infection. I didn't want my dp near me for about 4 months. Then everything was fine.

Give yourself some (a lot more) time. You need to recover.

Congratulations on Dd .

Pelvic exercises are definitely the way to go.

I'm with @Eatalot about getting a machine, it really helps make sure you target the right muscles.

I went with this one from John Lewis. It is freaking expensive but it does seem to work. I've been lazy with it lately, but I'm 12 months postpartum so feeling pretty much like normal now. I used it in the run up to labour and afterwards (there was a period of time they said to not use it, can't remember how long that was) and the difference pre and post was a little

m.johnlewis.com/elvie-pelvic-floor-tracker/p2795193?zoneId=1

I think the lack of support women get postpartum for incontinence etc is shocking

We did it after 6-8 weeks but only now 5 months after giving birth is sex actually good and not painful. Before that it was uncomfortable i don’t know why we kept trying. It’ll get easier and better!

Can you just go with oral in the meantime?

I had an episiotomy and Forceps delivery for ds1. Pelvic floor definitely took a while to get back to normal - don’t panic- 7 weeks is nothing!

Exercises are the way to go definitely.

I was ok after a few months- however when I got pregnant with ds2 it went to pot- when I had morning sickness and was vomiting I would wet myself. Not ideal. I only had 16.5 months between births though so I’m guessing that didn’t help!

I went to the gp and got referred for physio.

It’s so common- but people don’t talk about it.

There's a really good free NHS app called Squeezy that I used. It helps track and record your kegels every day. Default setting is 10 repetitions of 10 second holds, then 10 fast squeezes, 3 x a day. It helped me stick to doing it, otherwise I forgot half the time!

I had a 2nd degree tear (he came out like superman) and stitches 7.5 weeks ago. I healed very quickly and had sex 3 weeks postpartum. We've since done it several times and no problems or pain whatsoever.

No bladder leakage either, so I'm guessing I've been very lucky?

Thank you for all the suggestions and advice so far, I really appreciate it.

Sorry to others who've been through a hard time too

Anyone else?

I'm 6 months postpartum and also had a forceps with episiotomy delivery. My bladder is better but I have the opposite bowel issue, I cannot empty them and get no sensation to go, I have to manually evacuate myself. I have two large prolapse and have been told I will need surgery but they won't let me have it now as I am too young and could have more children (I am 32 and have one ivf baby). I also have 0 sensation during sex but my partner says I feel the same (i don't believe him!). I asked for a ring pessary from the gynacologist which helps a bit for my bladder and reduces the golf ball stuck in the vaginal entrance/heavy dragging sensation.

My birth experience was different but resulted in a 3C tear. I had sex for the first time at around 8 weeks postpartum and couldn't really feel anything, although DP maintains I feel the same. I'm now six months postpartum and still receiving physio for my pelvic floor. I couldn't really feel my muscles working when I did the exercises but my physio has said there's a definite improvement so do keep doing what you're doing, I promise it works!

I've also since bought a Kegel 8 machine and I personally believe I can feel much more difference now when I clench and I can do the exercises without the machine and think "yeah that's working". They're a lot of money so I would wait until after your physio appointment - see what they say and then decide if you want the machine or are happy to keep going with your exercises

I would also add, you can get a Kegel 8 machine that works for both bladder and bowel incontinence.

I was in a similar situation to you after a nasty tear with my first. The women's Physio worked wonders and wouldn't discharge me until I was happy that everything was ok again.

This was at Newcastle RVI. I have no idea if it's the same everywhere but the aftercare there was fantastic.

Oh and I remember watching an episode of keeping up with the kardashians (I know) and Scott Disick said about having sex after childbirth was like going into the same room but the furniture had been rearranged. Ie it didn't feel worse just different. I found this a pretty accurate description tbh.

Your Physio will check that you are doing your pelvic floor exercises correctly. They will also give you a programme to work on. Be diligent with your exercises and you will get there. But you need to keep them up for life. I find if I let things slip I run into trouble again.

I'm 6 weeks 5days pp. so far everything seems okay, sex is not painful and no incontinence? I think you should maybe speak to your gp.