Luckily, however, I do like my DH! So, as my in-laws are coming for a visit tomorrow, I would like to get things off my chest here rather than risk upsetting or annoying DH (they are his parents after all even though he knows what they are like, he does not know the extent to which I dislike them.)
I find them, firstly, tediously dull. We sit and make stilted conversation about the weather etc, there is also an undercurrent of tension that someone might say something potentially controversial (by controversial, I mean basically express an opinion.)
Which brings me to my next point, they live their lives fretting. They worry about neighbours, burglars, you name it they will find something to worry about with it. They also cannot comprehend why someone would not stress about the things they fret over. DH said he was terrified of the idea of burglars when he was young, something drummed into him by his parents.
I find his mother in particular quite controlling. She acts nervous and on edge but this also means that everyone else bends over backwards to accommodate what she wants, regardless of any possible inconvenience to anyone else. She 'doesn't want to put anyone out' or 'get in the way' with pretty much everything which really means that she gets exactly what she wants as nobody wants to 'upset' her.
DH has has anxiety issues in the past which put a great strain on our relationship. His counselling uncovered that this is due to his upbringing. His parents, on the other hand, are quietly smug that they are 'a nice normal family' and clearly (through their lack of comments) feel as if they are judging me as I have come from a family of divorced parents and a less conventional upbringing than their children who were brought up in a cul de sac in the Midlands. Out of DH's brothers, three out of the four have needed psychiatric help or counselling with regards to anxiety issues. This has never been openly mentioned because nobody wants to 'upset mum and dad.'
So, tomorrow, DH and I will give out a sanitised version of things that are happening (not that there is anything especially exciting or controversial going on anyway) while I try and find multiple excuses to get out the room / house. There will be the undercurrent of tension and I will find it increasingly bizarre that, the more normal they pretend to be, the more dysfunctional they actually are.
And breathe....!
AIBU?
I don't like my in-laws, AIBU to offload here before their visit?
Scaramoose · 24/02/2018 19:02
I don't like my in-laws either.
They never come to see us and expect us to schlep up to them with our 3yo DS in tow every time.
My FiL, now deceased, was the worst. A few months before our wedding he took DH out and asked him, very seriously, if he wasn't worried that my weight could cause issues in our marriage - 'She could have big problems getting pregnant' - I got pregnant our first month of trying, ON HONEYMOON. 
He also used every opportunity he could to belittle my decision to be a SAHM, pointing out that every working mother had it MUCH harder than me. He also v much hated the profession I was in prior to being a SAHM, which involved working mainly with poor migrant families, for v little pay. Obviously it's shit that he died, but I struggle v much in the aftermath with everyone in the family deifying him. Because he was an arse to me and clearly thought I wasn't good enough for his son.
SiL, in 30s, frequently travels to our town to see her friends and get pissed but never calls in on us to see her DN, then gets all pissy when we go up there and her ignores her. HE DOESN'T KNOW YOU!
I have had over ten years of comments from them all about my family, and the fact that we lived in a council house growing up and that my DB still works in a supermarket - but at least my family come to stay, don't slag off my DH to me and bother to engage with my DS!
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