Baby dolls for boys?

[FancyNewBeesly]

I’d say that my DH is generally pretty forward thinking but this issue has come up and I’m curious what others think.

I think that we should buy our boys a variety of toys and let them play with whatever they like. I think that includes baby dolls, as playing at taking care of a baby seems like it would be very good developmental play, and that looking after babies isn’t exclusively a woman’s job, so baby dolls shouldn’t be a girls toy.

He says that buying them baby dolls when they’ve shown no interest (not sure where he thinks they’d play with them to gain an interest?) is forcing the issue, and that we should wait and see if they ask for one (again, how?). He says that he’s a hands on parent without having to play with dolls as a child. I suspect he thinks they’d be bullied / mocked if they’re older and play with dolls.

It’s not like he would remove them if I bought them - I think it just makes him uncomfortable and I’m trying to challenge him as to why. He says he doesn’t believe that they are “for girls”, yet he’s still reluctant. I think it’s solely because he experienced bullying as a child and he doesn’t want them to, which I can understand - but I don’t think it’s that unusual these days for boys to play with dolls anyway?

YANBU

My 2 year old ds has a doll, a buggy, a kitchen and an ironing board and I've been accused by my mother that I am 'wanting to turn him gay'

Buy him one second hand or cheap and see if he plays with it? You can buy blue dolls and pushchairs if it helps.

Of my 3 sons it is my youngest who has enjoyed playing with dolls. He also enjoys being a marvel superhero or battling with his brothers.

I think your dh is overthinking it.

I agree that it doesn't matter what they play with and a range of toys is perfect. That said, if he has no interest then I agree with your dh. I would have had no problem in principle with buying a doll/ pushchair for ds when he was little, but whenever he had the opportunity to play with one outside of the home he just was no remotely interested. It would have been a waste of money.

Just buy one and put it with the toys. I don’t understand why you are hesitating. Will your do be arsey about it?

I have a DD and brought her a drill and construction toys unrequested to make sure she had a broad range of toys. I think it's good to get in at an early age that everything is available to them and let them make their own choice.

Get your DS a doll he shows an interest in them I wouldn’t buy him one just in case though. He could do everything you’d do with a doll with a teddy if he isn’t pretending to parent a teddy he probably wouldn’t be that fussed by a doll.

I would get him a doll, pushchair, sling etc. You can get lovely non- pink dolls like Reuben's Farm ones (range of skin colours, eye colours etc too and I think they're anatomically correct unless I'm thinking of another brand). So you could get him a boy doll if you wanted to. Most boys will grow up to be dads one day so I don't see the problem with role playing baby care.

*reubens barn not farm

100% get him a doll, I hate people that gender toys!
You don't need a penis or a vulva to play with a toy, and if you do then it's not a toy for children.

All family members buy my DD pink toys and I'm like why?! Just because she's a girl doesn't mean she has to have everything pink Especially when there's other colours available in the same toy as well.

Smyths Toys do cheap prams down the dolls aisle, they're about £6 I think

Just buy a doll...any old doll and let your child chose to play with it how he likes or not to play with it.
I would not even have a conversation with my husband about it . It's making an issue about something that should not be.

Point out that if they had a sister, They would already be playing with dolls.

We've had friends to stay this weekend. Their DS has spent most of it wearing one of DD's sparkly hair clips and playing with her doll and buggy.

She has spent most of it adding his trains and cars to her collection and making them crash into each other!

I had no interest in dolls, my DD had no interest in dolls, one of my sons played breastfeeding his action man. I think soft toys can be more lovable than dolls because dolls tend to be hard,not cuddly like a baby although I know you can get some with a dolls head and a soft body. I always thought dolls were really boring, personally my favourite toy ever was a Zorro mask and sword but I've never been interested in swords as an adult.

Maybe go to a toy shop and see if he is interested?

The boys at my preschool love playing with the dolls and pushchairs. One in particular loves dressing up like a fairy or princess; I asked his parents if he had any dressing up like that at home and they laughed and said "no way!"

my sons had a little boy doll that I just bought with a little pram.
They played with it - a game called Daddies and Uncles.

I didn't force it on them. It stopped around the end of reception year for the eldest.

They didn't play with it loads and loads or exclusively. It wasn't their favourite toy - but they did play with it frequently enough to warrant having one

They didn't really ask for any of their toys. They wouldn't know a rocket existed for instance to ask for one.

In nurseries they set up home corners, craft corners, water play etc and the home corner has lots of boys playing in it.

A lot of people worry about being teased but seriously nurseries are full of boys dressed as fairies and no one cares. At school age they start to pick up on social expectations so would just notice that the boys weren't playing with dolls and would stop. That kind of teasing your husband is thinking of would come in much older - say end of y1 to y2 by which point your child would have moved away from that kind of role play to an extent anyway.

Just buy it. I buy my ds toys I haven’t seen him use, sometimes they sit there for months and then suddenly they are the favourite and his imagination goes crazy with them, it’s adorable. They change so fast you have to be giving new opportunities.

I bought DS then 5 a baby doll and buggy, as he asked for one. Don't think I would if he did not. I tend to buy him toys if he is interested, bit of a waste of money if their lying around in the toy box.

I remember my 25 nephew when he was 3 pushing a pink pushchair with a boy doll in it and his Batman cape billowing out as he ran.

I have a similar, lovely, memory of my son and daughter both playing with the toy cars whilst wearing little plastic high heeled dressing up shoes!

My son has a dolly and some other ‘girly’ toys. He loves pushing his dolls in a pram to the park but in the pram usually is a load of diggers and dumper trucks too. I agree with you a doll chucked in a toy box won’t hurt it’s good for him to have the option of different toys just not what’s bought for him. Why not go to the toy shop and let him go down the ‘girl’ isle and see what he would like to choose.

As a childminder i can reassure you that boys love playing with baby dolls and all the stuff that comes with them. Beds, potties, bottles, clothes you name it they play with it and take the 'babies' out for walks in buggies. Its natural role play and encourages caring for others.

Get a doll and anything else to go with it you want to for your son. He will play with it your dp is being silly. He already plays with soft toys as 'babies' so what's the difference?

Thanks everyone. To clarify my boys are 17 months and they aren’t really doing any “role playing” yet anyway. I think if they went to nursery or a childminders they’d be exposed to a lot of different toys and things so I try and get them a good range of things to play with (right now favourites include a shape sorter bus and a scourer )

We weren’t having a big discussion, it just came up in conversation yesterday. I’ll just pick one up second hand at some point and see if they’re interested, like I do with other things.

My DD loved shape sorters and stacking cups. Her absolute favourites when she was little, happy memories.