Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4 5

MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

To not understand 'bottle propping'?

115 replies

stellenbosch · 10/02/2018 21:32

Been in the media a lot lately. I don't get it. Why would you do this? It takes about five minutes to give your baby a bottle and it's such a nurturing bonding experience... not to mention the danger, wind, etc!

OP posts:

Report

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/02/2018 21:54

It takes about five minutes to give your baby a bottle

Oh, honestly, in what world?!

I don't know anyone who ever said that. DD was a right fussy thing, but in her first three/four months, she took over an hour for each feed, often more. In fact we constantly struggled early on because she took so long to feed we just couldn't get enough down her.

Of course it is stupid to leave a newborn who can't turn over unattended with a bottle in its mouth. Of course it is stupid to leave a baby with someone who has drug problems (which is what happened in the recent case in the papers).

That said, I don't see that it helps to claim it's a five-minute 'bonding experience'. Surely, if you are so desperate or so completely unable to assess risk that you do this, there is a far, far bigger issue than that you couldn't take five minutes to 'bond'? And we should be supporting and trying to prevent that, surely?

Snowysky20009 · 10/02/2018 21:55

Poor baby- just read the story. 2 leg fractures aswell.....😡😥

RicottaPancakes · 10/02/2018 21:55

SofiaAmes I don't think feeding your baby is something you should do in your spare time.

lougle · 10/02/2018 21:56

Or even this

To not understand 'bottle propping'?

lougle · 10/02/2018 21:57

Or this very scary one

To not understand 'bottle propping'?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/02/2018 21:58

I doubt sofia means 'spare time' as in 'time prancing around watching telly and eating mints'.

She means, some people might have twins and a two year old, or whatever.

It is daft to prop a bottle in a baby's mouth, but it is equally daft to imagine everyone is in blissful content with a newborn enjoying bonding time.

Eatalot · 10/02/2018 22:00

Wtf why would anyone leave a baby with a known drug user and why has no one offered any explanation into two leg fractures. Poor baby.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 10/02/2018 22:02

...everyone has the same amount of spare time that you do?
We're talking about feeding your baby, not finding time to have a workout at the gym . How can you be too busy to take the time to feed a baby safely?

TammySwansonTwo · 10/02/2018 22:03

I can only tell you why I did it...

I had twins, who both had shocking head control until quite a late age. I couldn’t find a way to feed them at the same time, control their heads and hold the bottles. I tried feeding them in a tandem feeding cushion and their bouncers, but I was also pumping at the same time (every two hours for 7 months), and had an horrendous back injury related to that amd a botched spinal which meant I physically couldn’t lean over to hold the bottles while they were in the cushion.

In the end, I found the only way to feed them and pump was to sit them in a bouncer on either side of me while I pumped, and use a folded muslin to support the bottle at a decent angle (so they were upright and the bottle wasn’t tipped up). They could move their heads away if they wanted a rest, once they started rooting around I’d quickly lean over and relatch them.

I sat in between them so I could pounce at the first sign of trouble or odd noise (never happened).

People are so bloody quick to judge others, I’d like to see how others would have managed in my situation. I’ve seen videos where things don’t quite look safe (the babies are lying flat, the bottles are tipped high and the babies can’t move their heads away) but I’m not there so I can’t know.

Sashkin · 10/02/2018 22:06

Wow. Do you really believe that everyone has the same amount of spare time that you do

We’re talking about finding time in your busy schedule to feed your newborn. That’s a pretty low parenting bar to pass isn’t it?

SoftSheen · 10/02/2018 22:06

I hate this. Aside from the obvious dangers, there is something really, really sad about seeing a small baby in a forward facing pram/buggy (where they can't even see their parent) feeding from a propped bottle, whilst their parent looks at their phone/ otherwise ignores them. Yes I do judge.

I don't accept that people's lives are 'too busy' to feed their baby and cuddle it themselves. Prioritise your time better, or at least get the other parent (or another loving caregiver) to do it.

upsideup · 10/02/2018 22:10

What if you have twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets...
If done properly, not for long periods of time and the baby is closely monitored then it may just be the only option. I think YABU and in what world does feeding a baby only take 5 minutes!?
Incredibly sad but this baby had a lot more problem than having his bottle propped.

AlpacaLypse · 10/02/2018 22:10

Another twin mother here. You do your best with the situation you have. And bottle propping was sometimes my only solution - although I'd always be very nearby and as compos mentis as anyone ever is after months of sleep deprivation... My reading of this particular baby's situation is that something awful was probably going to happen whatever.

TammySwansonTwo · 10/02/2018 22:11

^ See?!

It’s not about not having time, there are other factors. But no, as a Mum to baby twins, one with a serious illness requiring time consuming management, with constant pain myself, and an extremely demanding pumping schedule (there was a medical reason which made this necessary) I didn’t have time or the ability to hold them one at a time through every feed. That completely sucks but it is the reality of the situation I’m in.

I’m still constantly surprised that people don’t understand that their experiences are not universal.

ClaraMumsnet · 10/02/2018 22:11

We just wanted to pop in to say that while discussions like this can often get heated, we'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other in their choices and express their views without resorting to personal attacks.

We're sure you'd all agree that parents-to-be and new parents need all the support they can get. After all, parenting is hard enough without facing judgement and criticism for those choices.

Peace and love.

MuncheysMummy · 10/02/2018 22:13

SoftSheen agree 100% well said!

CalleighDoodle · 10/02/2018 22:14

i had a baby and a 2 year old. never bottle fed, so certainly didnt bottle prop. i dont get it at all. what task is so urgent you cannot feed a baby?

BlueMirror · 10/02/2018 22:14

I've see this and even if a parent is present it's awful. If you don't have time to take care of the most basic of needs and you're going to leave them at risk of choking sucking on a teat half full of air then don't have kids.

grannytomine · 10/02/2018 22:15

I thought this had died out years ago, I remember it in the 50s and 60s but when I had my first in the 70s it seemed to have disappeared. The women I remember doing it in my community were women with alot of kids, no gadgets like washing machines and tumble dryers and I think they just felt they didn't have the time.

ChristinaW16 · 10/02/2018 22:16

Another twin mum! Never did it as didn't think to...Probably would have tried it if I had thought of it. Believe me, your arms ache a LOT when you try and feed two babies simultaneously! In twin world, it's either that, or listen to one scream while you feed her sister. Mine are now four and I am glad they can feed themselves!

SistersOfPercy · 10/02/2018 22:18

@lougle that first one was called something like the beeboo and was an invested product on shark tank, the US equivalent of dragons den 😮

grannytomine · 10/02/2018 22:19

We’re talking about finding time in your busy schedule to feed your newborn. That’s a pretty low parenting bar to pass isn’t it? I was thinking of women with a new baby, another baby under a year, a couple of toddlers and 2 or 3 they had to get to school. I really do remember families like that. There was a family just down the road with 22 or 23 kids, one a year on average. God knows how she coped in a terraced house with 3 bedrooms and no mods cons (we were considered to be in a posh house as our outside loo was ours and not shared as most were in the street.)

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Springiscoming123 · 10/02/2018 22:21

twin mum here and a singleton,yes i have done with all of mine at some point,and seen many people do this

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 10/02/2018 22:27

This is upsetting as I have fine this while out shopping and I'm ashamed, my baby can feed herself now but I think this warning needs to more public.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 10/02/2018 22:28

Poor little love 😢. He was a gorgeous little boy.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.