Oh probably, but I need to have a whinge (warning, I'm very grumpy today)

[Miaou]

This morning I invited one of dd2's friends to come over and play today. Dd2 has been to her house probably half a dozen times but we've never invited her back (not to do with her, more to do with me and our family setup!). Anyhow, invite well and truly overdue.

Grrr. She has only been here half an hour and I'm already really irritated. I have already had to tell her that making mud pies is not allowed (I've just had the garden sorted out yesterday and I don't want to have to clear up that kind of mess before ds can go out there), between the two of them they have woken ds up twice and now he is crying and won't go back to sleep . I have had to remind them not to go into next door's garden (not as bad as it sounds, it's open between the two and my kids are allowed in there, but the playhouse in there has fallen down so it is dangerous), and for the last 10 minutes all I have heard from dd2 is "nooooo, X, we aren't allowed to ... " so I hate to think what she is doing now.

And yes, I could go out and supervise, but the puppy will howl and ds will cry, and they are 8.5 FGS so surely they shouldn't need me to sit 10 feet away to make sure they behave????

This is going to be a long day ...

I asked them NOT to disturb the pond (we have tadpoles) and have just looked out of the window to see them watering the garden with water from the pond

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It wasn't water, it was bloody SAND from the SANDPIT

All over my LAWN

AND the pond is all muddied up. OOOOOOh I am furious now!

nobody cares either [sob]

OMG make them come in and do something quiet or tell the girl you will phone her mum to collect her if she cant behave!

ditto LoveMyGirls

Nooo, if they come in then I haven't a hope in hell of getting ds to go back to sleep! He will be vile for the rest of the day.

I am watching out of the window and they are behaving now. dd1 is out there too and is keeping an eye on what they are doing.

She is not being naughty as such, she is just one of these kids who have been brought up to do exactly as they please rather than follow rules. Plus I am grumpy so it is doing my head in.

Can't get mum to collect, she has gone out for the day. I will put the fear of God into her if she puts a toe out of line again though

I hope the weather stays fine!
It is frustrating when another child visits and seems incapable of sticking to a few simple rules.
I know that feeling well - of politely explaining something for the umpteenth time through a forced grin!
Good luck for the rest of the day.

STOP watching them. Ignore them. They're keeping each other occupied so this is your chance to do something for yourself.

They're not going to do much harm. Let go and give yourself a break.

Thank you all

I find it very difficult having other kids round at the best of times. Maybe my expectations are too high, I don't know - but I tend to think that when an adult says "don't do x", then you don't do it? Partic. at the age of 8 (exceptions made for younger children!). I have zero tolerance today (and wish I had realised this before making the invite )

Remember it's also your dd's responsibility to make sure her friends know the house rules. That's part of the whole learning experience for both girls.

Yes you are right Spidermama. I was pleased to hear dd2 asking X not to do something earlier, particularly as she is fairly easily led! I meant to have a quick chat with her just before X arrived but she came sooner than I expected.

Ds seems to have gone off again, thank God

Obviously stressful for you, sympathies.

First time is always the worst, though, as everything is so new for this girl and she'll be over excited about trying everything out.

Also, some parents do see gardens as being just for the kids. I know children who are allowed to dig, fill cans with water, go in mud barefoot etc etc. So it can be hard for some childrne to adjust to a graden of rules.

Doesn't make it any easier for you.

Might be worth getting them together, you going through any definite 'don't' rules and then maybe steer them.

Good luck!

breathe in deeply

Look (takes Miaou in hand) .. its a garden .. they really can't ruin anything in a garden too badly

the sand on the grass will be good for it .. and will work its way into the soil

the tadpoles will survive a bit of sand

try to relax the rules and ignore them .. they need a little freedom ..

give them a picnic .. or give them the job of making a picnic (picnic blanket outside and all ingredients) and make yourself a coffee

No Twig not coffee fgs! I fully agree with your post but for the coffee bit.

Chamomile tea.

When my children have friends round to play I see it as an opportunity to completely ignore them for hours. Especially in this weather.

oooh you are all lovely

Picnic in hand (though I'm making it, now ds is asleep no-one is setting foot in the house )

Ds still sleeping

Puppy sleeping

Kids all playing nicely and quietly together in the garden (I am taking your advice Twig and not looking too closely at what they are doing; I suspect it involves snails and turning them into pets )

They can eat outside - weather is gorgeous here and set to stay like it all day so I shall probably lurk in here out of the way, at least until ds is up!

Feel a bit calmer now, thanks for letting a pg hormonal woman rant, much appreciated

Put them in the car and take them to Ben Nevis, tell them to run up, and then down again and you will wait at the bottom with a clock to see how long it takes

LOL at camomile tea! I am having a cuppa as I type.

Agree with you about the ignoring Spidey, twas what I was hoping for - however all seems to have settled down now so am taking the opportunity to knit and read a bit more of Aric Sigman

PSML Saltire, that would be good! (only BN is about 45 miles and a ferry ride away!)

Now you see Aric would be proud of you with those girls out doing imaginative play instead of watching telly.

Well it worth a try. I knew you were "somewhere in that area" but not sure where exactly

Actually - sand is not half bad for a lawn, so they have probably done you a favour

I'm rather liking the Ben Nevis idea.....

I know, you are all right about the sand, but the sandpit is rather empty and it means I'll have to go get some more from the sand mine sooner rather than later ... (been putting it off!)

LOL Spidey, he'd probably be less impressed with the hour of Tom and Jerry that dd2 and ds watched earlier this morning

actively encourage teh snailery. Keeps them amused for hours.

OK - and breathe .....

I need to calm down. Big stylee.

Just been in to the back garden, to find they have turned the climbing frame, complete with its tarpaulin platform, full of water and mud.
After I expressly said, no water or mud in the garden. Anywhere. At all. And after I repeated it, only 20 minutes ago when yet again I found X taking water out of the pond. And after I took dd2 on one side and told her, if X started to do stuff that I wouldn't allow, it was up to her to either say no to her, or to get me to say no - NOT go along with it!!!

I am LIVID. Ds cannot now go in the back garden - it is a mud pit.

I have told them to tidy up then I am taking X home. Ds is distraught because he wants to play outside and doesn't understand why I've brought him in.

PLEASE - help me calm down otherwise I am going to find it very hard to keep my cool when returning said child.