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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be shocked that Annabel Karmel's 18yr old son can't cook?

105 replies

Bucketsofdynomite · 22/04/2007 13:29

In Saturday's Guardian magazine Annabel Karmel apperared shocked to find her 18yr old son couldn't actually cook and had never seen a wok. He lives away at university. How would you not notice something like that? How, as a food writer, do you not remember to teach your child to cook? Can only assume she's a total control freak in the kitchen and wouldn't want her kids making a mess.
Do you intend to teach your kids how to cook? Are you a non-cook yourself? How did that happen (or not happen)?

OP posts:

AitchTwoOh · 22/04/2007 14:07

yeah, that shitey Big Cook Little Cook style of effing cheffing... [rolls eyes]

Freckle · 22/04/2007 14:09

DS1 (now 13) and DS2 (now 11) have been cooking full meals for a number of years now. DS3 (almost 9) will be starting soon - although he does small bits and bobs in the kitchen already.

I have told them that they need to know how to cook, clean and iron, etc., because they will have to share such duties 50/50 with their future wives and not expect to be waited on.

They do enjoy cooking - although the need to clean up as you go along (or even when you've finished) seems to be escaping them at the moment.

I get the impression that AK is a control-freak who wouldn't contemplate letting children anywhere near her food unless it is to admire the faces she has so painstakingly created with their pasta, etc.

bran · 22/04/2007 14:11

I'm not particularly surprised. My mum is a fabulous cook and I couldn't cook much when I left home. She would deny it (as I'm sure AK would), but she can't stand anyone except dad cooking in her kitchen. Anything I ever tried to do/make when I was living at home ended up in an argument, partly because of her kitchen thing and partly because I was a stroppy teenager and we argued a lot anyway. So I just didn't cook anything. Even as recently as a few years ago when I was visiting her for the weekend she phoned me and asked me to put some potatoes on to boil. When she got home the the first thing she said when she walked through the door was "Oh, I don't use that pot to boil potatoes". Even now I really don't enjoy cooking at all, it's a necessary evil.

I think it's inevitable that someone who is engrossed enough in cooking to make it their career will be too much of a control freak to teach their children. Quite at the comments about his future wife cooking her recipes though.

AitchTwoOh · 22/04/2007 14:13

while i do take your point bran, i think tbh that if your whole career is about children and food then you should let them into the sodding kitchen.
my mum's an excellent cook who also didn't liek having four kids at her ankles while cooking, which was fair enough. but every saturday evening it was up to us to prepare something for our folks' tea (poor bastards, sometimes it was 8pm by the time the tuna pasta arrived...) and that's how we learned.

Original poster

Bucketsofdynomite · 22/04/2007 14:18

Is there a correlation between excessive hairspray consumption and controlfreakery?

OP posts:

ViscountessPetitLapin · 22/04/2007 14:24

To be fair, he doesn't say she didn't let him in the kitchen. I bet she did all the "fun" things with him when he was a child and then, when he got into his teens, he thought "hang on a minute! Mum's a professional food writer who cooks me whatever the hell I want!" and couldn't be arsed to cook anymore. I reckon I would have been the same!

WanderingTrolley · 22/04/2007 14:24

BOD I will investigate that immediately.

Not that I think she actually consumed the hairspray, but it's worth considering....

chicken fillets with Elnett...mmmm...

WanderingTrolley · 22/04/2007 14:27

Well shiver me onion and Smartie mini kebabs,

look what happened when I googled "Control Freak"

VeniVidiVickiQV · 22/04/2007 14:28

ROFL! I bet he knows how to use a blender and make smiley faces with home made ketchup

She has led a rather insulated career/life, hasnt she?

AitchTwoOh · 22/04/2007 14:47

'is that a wok?' ll, he's eighteen. and she doesn't think there's anything much wrong with is cos the uni caff's good and she'll be able to lick his poor wife into shape when the time comes.

ElenyaTuesday · 22/04/2007 14:54

The wife cooking thing got my goat but honestly I was more shocked at the "mum cooked four things and I chose what I wanted" comment. He would have a hell of a shock in my house!!!

ViscountessPetitLapin · 22/04/2007 15:00

Haitch, I am trying to be balanced here. We wouldn't want to end in up in a court case, would we!

Oh god, it would be TOSWMNBN!

kiskidee · 22/04/2007 15:05

i find the thread title hilarious!

if she expected him to follow her weaning plan i completely understand.

poor lad.

Original poster

Bucketsofdynomite · 22/04/2007 15:08

LOL, just got your acronym finally .
No doubt the magazine will have plenty of comments on the letters page next saturday.

OP posts:

edam · 22/04/2007 15:19

LOL at hairspray idea, Buckets.

Her son might just not be interested in cooking and clearly has a mother who is happy to do it. I never learnt on the grounds that with a working mum I already did my share of the housework and wasn't about to start cooking too (touch of sibling rivalry there). When I moved into a shared house at uni I bought myself a cookbook - my flatmates had the pizza delivery number ready when it was my turn to cook!

What bothers me is AK's sexism, the expectation that a DIL will one day wait on junior hand and foot.

AitchTwoOh · 22/04/2007 15:31

as it happens i loved learning to cook and we were a very 'muck in' type of family, but i do know quite a few friends of mine who made a positive decision not to learn as they felt it would just put them in line for more household work that their brothers did not do. that i can completely understand, as much from a feminist perspective as anything. why should the sister learn when the son doesn't etc etc?
i think that if you set yourself up as a children's food expert it ill behooves you to blather on about the fact that your son can't cook at 18... especially when you are promoting your own brand of pre-packed food for kids. how will they ever learn?
plus pmsl at the four meals... that is a knockout.

Manictigger · 22/04/2007 15:34

It's the idea that the woman who goes on about home-cooked meals being cheaper and better than shop bought ones has now brought out a range of ready meals for kids that has dumbfounded me. (I don't think that's grammatically correct but I can't be bothered working out why)

SherlockLGJ · 22/04/2007 15:39

He comes home from university on a Friday and he calls me from the station. He wants his dinner hot on the table.

chirpygirl · 22/04/2007 15:44

I am so shocked by this! My mum has been in catering all her life, at one point we lived above their restaurant and shared the kitchen. I can't rememebr not knowing how to cook something whether it was stirring a pot as cheap child labour or being asked to help fix tea.
However, shocked as I am, I am not surprised. When my bro went to Uni he was the only one who knew how to cook, and I was the only one who could cook 'proper' meals when I left home, but I would expect more from AK fgs!

chirpygirl · 22/04/2007 15:46

WRT the 4 meals thing, my mum might have been cooking all day and say 'pick something for tea I can't be arsed to cook something else for you!', so I might have had a choice of 3 or 4 meals, but I very much doubt this is what is happening here!

nogoes · 22/04/2007 15:53

Unbelievable!!! If your child reaches adulthood without knowing how to cook you have failed as a parent. I think it is a sign of insecurity when a parent does not pass life skills onto their child, they are obviously concerned that they won't be needed anymore. Ds is only 2.8 but he helps me cook nearly everything in the kitchen from pouring and stiring and helping me find ingredients in the shops. He really loves it.

Saying that, I never participated in cooking at home but because I have always loved food [greedy icon] I couldn't wait to get my own place and start cooking. I learnt everything from cookery books. It does mean that I lack basic knowledge at 22 I was cooking elaborate 4 course meals for my friends but having to ring my mum to find out how to boil an egg or make an omelette.

LittleSarah · 22/04/2007 16:00

God lord. What a horrendous article, they both come out of it looking bad!!

I find it quite incredible that a food writer/cook would not have taught her children the basics. I didn't have a great repertoire when I left home but I could cook. As will my daughter. But she won't be doing it so she can learn all her future MIL's recipes. UGH. UGH.

motherinferior · 22/04/2007 16:01

My - male - partner couldn't really cook when I took up with him and I don't think his three brothers cook as a normal thing, you know. It's appalling. I couldn't quite believe it.

He is a perfectly competent if not always madly adventurous cook now.

crunchie · 22/04/2007 18:35

This is why I teach my kids to cook.

They maybe slightly fussy in their eating habits, but my 8 year old know how to cook her favourite dish of chicken strips marinated in lemon, soy and honey, then griddled. If I asked her to she could do it from scratch. The 6 year old can do toast and prep vegetables already - she is awhizz with peeling carrots.

Why do we do this to our kids? I'll admit I don't cook that much as mine are usually at the childminders during teh week, but at weekends they will cook with me quite often. If I had more time and worked a little less my kids would be able to cook.

It's teh same with housework - I hate doing it, I never did it as a kid (bar laying the table and washing up) My kids HAVE to do it, they ar ehappy hoovering, dusting and are not that bad at tidying up. It really helps. we are a team!!

roisin · 22/04/2007 18:41

My mum's a great cook, and she did baking with us, but never really gave me any encouragement to help her cooking meals: and I just didn't have a clue! We had 5 children at home, and I think for her going to the kitchen to cook was an opportunity for a bit of peace!

I don't like cooking at all, and dh does most of it, but I can turn my hand if pushed. But the boys (7 and 9) are pretty nifty already, and can 'help' with quite a lot, and do a few things single-handedly.

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