That old chestnut again...

[Edma]

I am pretty sure I read a few threads about this already, but here we are again...
I am from a country where all the presents come from Santa (until the children stop believing around 8/10).
DH is a Brit but has no problem with this aspect of my culture. We live in my country. I am not religious and don't have any other cultural hang up afaik.
Mil cannot accept this and every year tries to make sure the presents are from her. I offered to skip the presents just at Christmas and offer them when we are all together so DS knows and can say thank you. But that's not good either.
I don't get it. DS will be old enough soon so I am keen to keep this little thing going on for an extra couple of years.
Isn't making the children happy the point of it all? Offering is not about displaying your generosity. Is it?

[FeistyColl]

If you've read other threads you will know that there is no 'standard' approach in the UK. Your approach is followed by some in this country too.

What I don't understand OP is how the rest of your Christmas works? Do only young children receive presents? Do you not exchange presents with your DH and family members? If people give eachother presents, then what is it that your MIL is spoiling?

[Ellisandra]

"Hey MiniEdma - you know grandma is from the UK? In her country, sometimes families like to give presents to each. Yeah - as well as the ones from Santa! Weird huh? But kind. Anyway, she wants to send you a present. Isn't that lovely of her?"

There you go.
I solved your problem for you.

Oh wait - your problem was actually a totally inflexible pointlessly fixed attitude? Sorry, can help with that

[GertrudeBelle]

OP's kids are 11, 8 and 6.

The 11 year old in particular is past the age of Santa and perfectly capable of understanding that her grandma wanted to buy her a gift. And to say thank you.

I suspect she also thinks her mother is being ridiculous.

[PerfumeIsAMessage]

I lived in, and have several family members from, the country the OP is on about.

She is the first person from that country I've ever known to insist on this.

If anything, the whole presents from Santa shebang is a far more Anglo-Saxon thing.

When dd was little all our presents to her were signed "from Santa" whilst the presents other people were kind enough to buy her were from that person, who had, of course, sent them to Santa for delivery.

[LoniceraJaponica]

I have reread this thread and cannot find which country it is the OP is referring to.

Which country is it?

[ilovesooty]

I'm with previous posters who think you should accept the gifts from your mil graciously and encourage your children to have the good manners to do the same.

It isn't all about you and what you want.

[paxillin]

It's France, @LoniceraJaponica.

[Acopyofacopy]

I think I come from a country where Father Christmas traditionally brings all the presents. That’s what happens at home on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day or over the Christmas period people get together and exchange more presents that Father Christmas left at their house for them to give out.

Sounds a bit bonkers, but I never questioned this as a child. The giver then was Auntie X and she got a thank you for bringing the present.

Compromise?

[LoniceraJaponica]

Thank you pax

[Jux]

France??? Boggle! I’m astonished.

My family are a hugely Catholic French lot! I had never known that only FC brought the presents over there. Never come across it, either when staying with French relatives over Christmas in France, or with French/English relatives here in UK, with French relatives staying with us in UK. And until my generation, all of them were born and bred in France, so there should have been a whiff of it. There wasn’t.

[SandunesAndRainclouds]

I can't see the problem with sticking to your tradition that all presents come from Santa, but saying 'Granny sent you one too, how lucky are you to get something extra?!'

[Stompythedinosaur]

Can you not explain that mil comes from a country where families give presents and then give her present in a separate fashion i.e. not under the christmas tree?

[kungfupannda]

This is very one-sided, and not remotely a cultural issue - families all over the UK do things in all sorts of different ways. There are plenty of ways to deal with this and end up with a happy and harmonious family Christmas. Present giving is supposed to be fun, and there is no reason why traditions should be set in stone.

We did a mix of Santa and family gifts when I was young, and I don't ever remember questioning it. That's what we've done with our children, and none of them have ever sat down looking flummoxed and said 'But why oh why are some gifts from Santa and some from Great Aunt Edna? This has created an unresolvable dichotomy in my developing psyche.'

You can dig your heels in and insist on having everything your way, or you can find a compromise - or just crack on and let the kids roll with it - and have a nice Christmas with family getting on. I know which I would choose.

[Fluffypinkpyjamas]

My children have clearly better manners than you Leilaniii. How dare you



Ah you’re one of those posters OP

Weird and controlling and rude to PP.