That old chestnut again...

[Edma]

I am pretty sure I read a few threads about this already, but here we are again...
I am from a country where all the presents come from Santa (until the children stop believing around 8/10).
DH is a Brit but has no problem with this aspect of my culture. We live in my country. I am not religious and don't have any other cultural hang up afaik.
Mil cannot accept this and every year tries to make sure the presents are from her. I offered to skip the presents just at Christmas and offer them when we are all together so DS knows and can say thank you. But that's not good either.
I don't get it. DS will be old enough soon so I am keen to keep this little thing going on for an extra couple of years.
Isn't making the children happy the point of it all? Offering is not about displaying your generosity. Is it?

[GinIsIn]

Ummm..... OP? AS reveals you are from the same country as my family. And this really isn't a thing - it's so not how all families do it?!

[Nectarines]

Poor grandma. She puts thought, time and money into choosing gifts for the grandchildren she loves and all the credit goes to Santa. Not sure Santa is a cultural issue in the sense of ‘people in my country do this’. Surely it’s more to do with family tradition and culture. You can make your own tradition.

[LoniceraJaponica]

"Why wouldn’t you just tell your child that in England children get presents from Father Christmas and from relatives"

Good idea. Or do as I suggested in my post and say that Santa delivered the present from MIL.

That is an excellent point Caulk. Does Santa bring fewer presents for poor families?

[tillytown]

Tell your kids Krampus messed with the labels

[BeBesideTheSea]

To child: Your Grandma and Santa have talked about it, and because you are lucky and have two cultures, and in Grandmas culture people give each other presents as well as Santa, Santa is going to bring you one less present than your friends, and grandma is going to send you one instead”

[cochineal7]

Are you from the North Pole, Santa’s grotto?? Seriously, children have a remarkable ability to accept many/most/some presents are from Santa and others are given to them by family and friends for Christmas. They will not be damaged by the concept, nor give up their belief in Santa. It is such an easy compromise to make on your side, why not keep the spirit of Christmas and make it.

[tillytown]

Caulk LoniceraJaponica, Santa is a tyrant, he thinks poor people don't deserve presents.

[flumpybear]

You do what you and your husband agree in your house and let other family do their thing - simple - don’t spoil it for everyone else

[annielouise]

I doubt your whole country does this the way you describe. Not everyone does it the same way in the UK, so I doubt they do it all the same way in the US, Canada, Australia or NZ, or anywhere else.

I note you're reluctant to say the country as someone else with experience of that country will probably come on and disprove what you're saying.

You don't get to choose or indeed change who the giver is of a present to your child. If you want all of your presents to come from Santa, fine. Buy them loads then the presents from other such as his gran will just be an add-on and won't spoil the magic.

[GinIsIn]

annielouise AS reveals OP is from the same country as me. It's not how we all do it.

[Aspergallus]

There is no country where everyone has exactly the same tradition as you OP.

You are being rigid about this. The bottom line is that you don't get to dictate how other people give gifts.

And it's perfectly possible to do presents from Santa, alongside presents from family. In fact it's a better Xmas message -a time to give and receive from those we love etc.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

This thread would be laugh-out-loud funny if not for the fact that some poor woman, who is apparently "lovely", is stuck wondering whether she will upset DIL if she buys presents for her grandchildren. I really had to check this wasn't a troll. I hope she has gransnet to turn too.

[VladmirsPoutine]

You are being rigid about this.

This is what I'm failing to understand. Surely any reasonable person would agree that people do things differently and something as minor as this won't cause your child to grow up to be a heroin-addicted miscreant because granny once tarnished Santa's reputation.

[annielouise]

Fenella - I've just done the same and it's France and I thought they went for quality over quantity regarding presents, less focus on the commercialisation of it all.

[annielouise]

I'm expecting the MIL to do her own post. OP: YABU.

[PovertyPain]

What happens if one family can’t afford as many gifts as another. Why does “Santa” then bring less? Is that explained by those children not being good enough

I remember being told, by another horrible child, that I didn't get as much as other children because I was dirty and bad. As a small abused and neglected child, thatmade me feel even more worthless. I love that the children had the wonderful belief of Santa, but always made sure that the gifts they received had nothing to do with wether they were well behaved or not. I also told them that Santa had so many children to look after that he couldn't always give them what they wanted.

I think you're talking nonsense, op. There's absolutely no reason to have ALL the gifts from Santa. This has nothing to do with religious beliefs or superstition. I think you just have a bit of an ego thing going on.

[PoorYorick]

Why oh why do people ask if they're being unreasonable if they're not prepared to accept that they might be?

[FitBitFanClub]

So, all 67 million people in France do Christmas exactly the way the OP demands says?

[MissMoneyPlant]

Poverty

Now I want to send you a Christmas present.

Fenella Interesting! I thought perhaps the place the OP lived was under a bridge...

[FitBitFanClub]

Stuff us Brits being "ethnocentric." This sounds to me like a controlling person who is hiding behind some mis-placed sense of cultural identity in a bid to get one over on her MIL.

[user1495832265]

MissMoney

[annielouise]

You have older kids as well so surely this has come up before?

[GinIsIn]

MissMoney I thought the same thing, which is why I looked, but this is even weirder! Because it simply isn't a thing in France

[TheAntiBoop]

My mum is French and we did a hybrid Christmas - but under neither tradition were all the presents from Santa

Not sure what culture op is from but neither the German or French legs of the family do it that way.

[BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot]

I'm also of the view people buy presents. Santa does do a delivery but the big ticket items come from us and relatives give their own gifts. The problem with Santa giving everything is that when the mystique goes they will think you bought everything and relatives never bothered which is unacceptable