To miss someone I can’t have?

[AhhhhHotelBlisss]

Any solutions please?

Stop overthinking it and send him some pictures of your bum.

No, nobody would die if the OP asked him out and he said no, but it might make future encounters awkward and put the mockers on future social activities involving the OP, her friend and the brother doing things together. The OP is only human, after all. She might be the type who could instantly brush off the disappointment and carry on regardless, but not many people could.

Trying to force relationships to happen never works. If somebody is keen on you, they will show you.

Don’t hold back now Nettle

I already said I really really won’t. I don’t think I have embarrassed myself with him quite yet in that regard... hence asking on here for advice!!

God nettletheelf are you always so passive and defeatist? I asked my husband out, and after a very long and committed week together, shagged him rotten.

I won’t. Messaging you to find out where you and his sister were, on a day he’d arranged to meet you both (and you were the ‘plus one’, as I’m sure you know), is very different to him messaging you, and you alone, to get to know you better individually.

But send him a picture of your bum if you like, I won’t stop you!

Would you be saying this to a man too, or should only women be passive and submissive and wait for men to make the first move???

Nettle - point. Taken!

You’re being overly dramatic: thought he was married or something! You say there’s a significant age difference but then only a couple of years.

The only issues are that you live 5 hours apart and you don’t know if he (1) fancies you and (2) would consider a relationship with you. Chances are he wouldn’t, given the long distance.

Your friend may not even think of her brother when it comes to matchmaking friends or might not wish to in any way matchmake him with her friends, eg due to concerns about potential awkwardness.

In your shoes I would just unfriend him on social media and move on.

Hi worried, you can react assured that I am neither passive nor defeatist. I’m happily married and had many boyfriends before I said yes to DH. One of the reasons I was popular with men is that I didn’t throw myself at them. Try it! But each to their own.

Anyway without sounding arrogant I do think he likes me but will absolutely and completely leave it!!!

Just saw your second message. I wouldn’t go out with man who sent me a picture of his bum, and in whom I’d shown no significant interest, no. So I’d give a bloke the same advice.

Also Nettle I have never, ever thrown myself at a man - has always been other way round. But thanks xx

Hopefully I will get the chance to know him better down the line but until then, I will rest easy. Luckily there is a chance he may move down to my city soon anyway

You don’t need a chastity belt, bliss. Just look for somebody (or several somebodies) who really wants to have a relationship with you. I bet here are loads.

Eh? Posters suggesting you either ask a man out or leave it are somehow implying you should behave like a nun?

If there is potential to live in the same city in future there’d be no harm - apart from potentially to your pride - in letting him know you find him attractive and suggesting he gets in touch if he’s ever in your town!

Just invite him out. If he says no, then you will know he's not interested, and if he says yes you might be all set for some fun times.

I agree with PP that his sister might simply not consider her little brother as dating material. I have a kid brother (well, he's now a happily married man and 50 years old, so not such a kid) and when I was younger I would never have thought of him as someone for my friends to date. We know too much about our little brothers' horrible habits etc and still tend to see them as kids.

No tips, I'm afraid! I've tried to meet up with him without my friend but it always falls through! I've now had to watch him kiss two girls on nights out with the three of us! It was heart wrenching for me but I had to put a brace face on it as friend was there and had no idea! Someone once asked me why I wasn't going out with him and my friend jumped in and said "oh no, they don't like each other!" Before I got a chance to answer!

I sometimes wonder if I should tell her and hope that she encourages him to ask me out. But equally I can imagine her saying oh no you're not his type at all, move on!

Conker, why be a wallflower: just approach him directly and you’ll know! Nothing to do with your friend.

I have developed an inappropriate crush on an old school mate- DP and I are in a bad ish place and I think that's prompted it. Nothing to be done but daydream and wait for it to pass! Sigh

This is your third thread about him OP, why don’t you make a move?

update: his friend is keen on me apparently. Found out earlier. Can’t help but feel the guy I like was wing-manning him. Oh dear

Who told you this? Good opportunity for you to respond “he’s OK and all that, but I far prefer X”!

Unless the other guy is nice, attractive and more local of course!

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