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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To miss someone I can’t have?

88 replies

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 19/11/2017 23:25

Any solutions please?

OP posts:
Worriedobsessive · 20/11/2017 00:44

What’s the point in having friends if you can’t shag their brothers?Grin Get in there!

ConkerGame · 20/11/2017 00:47

OP are you me??? I'm in exactly the same situation! No idea what to do about it, so if something positive happens for you, please let me know, so I can try out whatever you did in my situation!

beckythemasterbaker · 20/11/2017 00:54

Eventually the feelings will abate. This is a lie. Sometimes that feeling will never leave you. There is a possibility you will have similar feelings but they will all be different with different triggers in your life. Staying away and hoping it will dispense is a good idea. However, don’t bet on it.

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 00:55

Haha Conker how strange, what’s going on with you?! And do you have any tips? Grin

OP posts:
zen1 · 20/11/2017 01:09

Did you post about him a few days ago OP?

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 01:15

This is my only post on it

OP posts:
NamasteNiki · 20/11/2017 01:18

No he’s not - think it’s what he represents.

Ive been there. Its tough.

It's sounds cliched but it just takes time. One was an ex and I just cut contact completely. It took about 6 months but gradually I got over him and now I couldnt care less about him.

Another was a guy I had to see regularly so no chance of going NC. He wasnt all that either and seeing him and how he was really put me off over time.

Find something else to do. New hobby, new class, etc. It helps. Flowers

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 14:35

Any other words of wisdom? Thanks all x

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 20/11/2017 14:39

I really want something to happen

Then make it happen.

JamPasty · 20/11/2017 14:42

Ask him out for drinks!

Iforgotmynameimdrunk · 20/11/2017 15:06

In the same position. Flowers

Dahlietta · 20/11/2017 15:21

What was the event that he couldn't make, OP? Could you invite him to another, similar event, since he couldn't make the last one?

Nettletheelf · 20/11/2017 16:14

This isn’t going to end well. Sorry to rain on your parade, OP.

I know that you really like him etc. but if he has your number and doesn’t call you, and could message you but doesn’t, as you note above, what’s the most likely explanation? Anybody can comment on social media posts. It takes no time. He might be commenting on the posts of 20 girls.

Easy for other posters to advise you to ask him out, but if he’s not interested in you in that way, they don’t have to live with the aftermath, do they?

Worriedobsessive · 20/11/2017 16:58

What aftermath??? Ok so he might say no! No one dies!!!

“Faint heart never won fair cock” as they did in days of yore.

Lelloteddy · 20/11/2017 17:03

Why can’t YOU text him? It’s 2017 yunno? Wink

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 17:08

Yep hence why I probably won’t message Nettle - I don’t know, I just get a vibe from him? It would be a bit weird him messaging or phoning because we live about 5 hours away from each other and for various reasons it’s completely impractical for anything to happen. He is also significantly younger... I’m not saying he necessarily feels that way but equally I feel like he may be a tiny bit interested - just the way he treats me when we have been together? Who knows. Anyway I would probably rather something happen organically so guess I will just wait til the next time and try and dress up to the nines/see what happens. I do feel like he may be a bit shy too but then again of course he may not be iteerested - which is why I won’t be messaging - just going to sit tight and see what happens!!

OP posts:
AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 17:08

Also he has actually messaged - when I was with his sibling, he messaged me several times to see where we were but I never replied as the sibling got in touch in the end

OP posts:
Yellowbird54321 · 20/11/2017 17:09

“Faint heart never won fair cock”

Grin

Could you engineer a situation where you, he and copious amounts of alcohol are in the same room for a reasonably prolonged period or something OP?

Worriedobsessive · 20/11/2017 17:10

Yep, you need to get stranded with him somehow.

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 17:11

And just to clarify I’m sure he probably does comment on other people’s posts - the key difference being they are his friends and I’m really not 😂 It’s quite excessive and happens a lot. I’m not saying it means anything but it seems weird to do that to someone you’re completely indifferent to and possibly have no chance of seeing again? May just be me though. Oh and I don’t do it to him...

OP posts:
Lelloteddy · 20/11/2017 17:11

He messaged you but you didn’t reply? Dear god woman just message him!

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 17:12

Lol! Yes stranded and alcohol both sound great... the last time that happened I may have kissed his friend/his friend tried it on with me as I was so determined not to let on I liked him!! Oh dear. That was a long time ago.

OP posts:
Worriedobsessive · 20/11/2017 17:12

Are you waiting for him to throw himself across the bonnet of your car??? Get IN there!

ClaryFray · 20/11/2017 17:13

You get on with it, I had similar. I had the most wonderful sexually charged relationship for over two years, but eventually I realised I wanted more than he did. It took my 5 months to get over the feelings.

However it was the best sex I've ever had. And sadly my DP can't compete. I love him completely, and he's my best friend. But sexually I'm not satisfied. I kinda accept that I've gotta settle in that respect.

Eventually you'll wake up and he won't mean so much to you anymore.

AhhhhHotelBlisss · 20/11/2017 17:13

Lello - think he was genuinely worried about our whereabouts and I didn’t see it until too late! Ie after they had replied. Pretty sure it was through necessity haha

OP posts:
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