to want to give my two year old the best Christmas ever

[mancmama1614]

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents to open. We made loads of family Christmas memories too (Disney on ice, Christmas Eve hampers, eve-of-the-eve-of-Christmas-eve presents) and I look back on those Christmases with the fondest of memories.
Now, I am in a similar position to what my mum and dad were in when they were younger; my partner earns a good salary (I am a SAHM) however we are paying off quite hefty debts from our hedonistic twenties 🙄 so we are strictly on a tight budget.
AIBU to still go what some people would class as overboard at Christmas? So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400 (don't count) but still want to get him all the clangers merchandise which will be another £150.
Added to this there will be visits to the santa train, Christmas parties at all the playgroups we go to and a winter wonderland trip.
His birthday is in January and we would like to have a big party for him and all his friends and also buy about 10-15 presents for that too.
Can I just add we aren't taking out any credit for this because I wouldn't be accepted for any anyway
All I see on Facebook and in the news are people only buying their kids one present, letting the grandparents pick up the slack or following that bloody soulless four gift rule.
Not buying for adults this year and me and my partner aren't buying for each other but we are buying for kids of friends.
Does anyone else do a Christmas like this when they are on a bit of a budget? Or any free trip ideas (ideally in Manchester) to add an extra special touch?

[BoredOnMatLeave]

Just realised I didn't answer the question in the title. YANBU to give him the best Christmas but that really doesn't = 100s of gifts.

[MerryMarigold]

My 12yo ds got one of those big Ferrero balls with 2 ferreros inside it for his birthday. He got loads of presents but the Ferrero ball created the most excitement and was the most talked about even though he is 12 and someone else gave him £20. He loves Ferrero and he'd never seen one before so it was just super exciting for him.

[LaurieMarlow]

OP, people are being harsh, but it's obvious this is coming from a good place so ignore them.

However, I would urge you to reign it in simply because what will excite and create memories for an older child is not the same as what works for a 2 year old.

My DS was 2.5 last Christmas. He had about 20 presents to unwrap. I wanted to see his face when he opened them all, but in reality he didn't give a shit. He unwrapped one toy and wanted to play with that all day. He had no interest at all in unwrapping a big pile of boxes. He didn't get it.

It's actually very easy to please them at 2. The joy my son gets out of a balloon is unreal. Take it easy, save your money and do lots of fun things with her instead.

[pallisers]

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents to open. We made loads of family Christmas memories too (Disney on ice, Christmas Eve hampers, eve-of-the-eve-of-Christmas-eve presents) and I look back on those Christmases with the fondest of memories.

Your parents were not really poor.

It is entirely your choice how you treat your child at christmas.

But you are teaching him that excess is the same as special which it really isn't. If he loves the clangers, for example, would he not value one special toy or sweater from the range more than simply having the entire range. My concern would be that you aren't giving him space to have one special toy, one favourite jumper - just a huge mass of stuff.

[ZoopDragon]

Are you sure you want to make Christmas all about gifts?

In our family it's about spending time together, telling stories, decorating the tree, food, baking together, special day trips to festive events, putting glitter down for reindeer etc. It's magical. We have 2-3 presents and a stocking each with small toys, which is enough IMO. Toddlers don't need lots of gifts all at once. Mine is thrilled with a few little toys in a stocking!

If you make it all about gifts now, they'll expect the same sea of gifts every year. I don't like the 'greed' culture of Christmas, when children are just focused on how many material things they receive. To me that spoils the magic.

[Scabbersley]

OP, people are being harsh, but it's obvious this is coming from a good place so ignore them

I don't think it is coming from a good place AT ALL? What makes you think that?

[ConciseandNice]

I think it's quite awful and a waste of money. Fine if you're loaded, and have more money than sense (sounds like it). It will be unappreciated and not remembered and it sets up your child to have ridiculous expectations and to not appreciate the special things which don't come from Amazon or whatever.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

The look on my sons face is more important to me than 'the environmental impact'

You do realise you're talking about the future of the world your son will be living in, don't you?

[LemonShark]

Concise, she doesn't have more money than sense, she's in debt. She doesn't have money. She owes money. Though I suppose you could be saying that she has even less sense than minus however much cash she has... which might be accurate!

[LaurieMarlow]

I don't think it is coming from a good place AT ALL? What makes you think that?

She wants to create a special time for her child. How the hell can you argue with that?

You can disagree (and pretty much all of this thread does) on how she intends to achieve that. but it's obvious she's doing this out of love so what's your big problem with my comment?

[ConciseandNice]

MyBrilliantDisguise exactly.

Pretty sad, short-term thinking really.

[LemonShark]

"The look on my sons face is more important to me than 'the environmental impact'"

Okay starting to realise this is all designed to rile posters up and get people frothing, from that command. I mean, what can anyone say to that? 🤷🏻‍♀️

[ConciseandNice]

Exactly LemonShark.

[thecatsthecats]

Concise - OP has debt! And by her own admission, hedonistic spending in her twenties. I can't imagine where it came from. Not at all possible that it came from what her parents taught her life was like - scrimp and splurge. /sarcasm

Honestly OP, the best gift you can get your son is financial therapy for yourself so that you don't bring up another fool who is obsessed with 'stuff' and will damage their life and relationships to get it.

The greatest gift my parents gave me was the ability to manage on very little altogether. It means I'm now financially very well placed. I planned for my money so meticulously through my twenties that I never have to give it a second thought now, and when my parents offered me a big lump sum for my deposit, I turned most of it down.

[swansong81]

brilliant here comes the Daily Fail

[Oogle]

I used to have 100s of presents at Christmas and I really didn't appreciate them. My mother will still go for "quantity over quality" and brings huge sacks of presents for me, DH and my son. My DS has an entire cupboard full of toys he doesn't play with. It makes me sad and angry, also embarrassed. My PIL can't afford to spend what she does and I know it upsets them, yet the things they buy him are things I've suggested and he loves!

Also, she doesn't put any thought into what she buys. I don't want cheap make up, I wear MAC. I'd rather have 1 MAC lipstick then a set of ones aimed at a teenager from superdrug but she doesn't get it because as far as she's concerned there must be lots of presents under the tree.

Do what you want, but Christmas to me is a feeling, it's memories made by doing the Christmas shopping with my Dad in Woolies, watching the lights being turned on, decorating the tree, putting a mince pie out for Santa, pulling the crackers, watching movies, driving around to look at all the houses lit up. That's what Christmas is to me, the mountains of presents? I don't remember them at all.

[Scabbersley]

This has nothing to do with love. Parents with no money at Xmas love their children just as much. It is to do with materialistic greed and thinking that you show love through money.

She's had plenty of examples of how you can make Xmas magical for kids without spending a fortune on tat. Still, she must be a marketeers dream as she clearly has no interest in nice inexpensive days out when she can just order in the entire Argos Catalogue.

Lazy thinking.

[MissMoneyPlant]

When I was growing up we all got 1 main present and then a stocking (from parents, other presents from relatives).
My parents could have saved all year and spent quite a lot more.
Instead they chose to pay off the mortgage and make sure we all got our own bedroom (!) which was very valued. When I was a young adult scrimping and saving on minimum wage, they had accumulated savings, and gave some wonderful gifts of £100-£200 at times when I really needed it, and I was massively grateful because they had taught me to value money by not showering me with unnecessary gifts growing up. This also meant I am good at living on a budget, have never got into debt just to buy stuff (or at all, in my case), and to friends' astonishment managed to save on min. wage and travel quite far on those savings!

Have a think about what you are really giving your DS, what you are teaching him.

And be a bit less selfish about the environment, the other approx. 7 billion of us don't actually rate the look on his little face as more valuable than a habitable planet.

[wendz86]

If you asked my children what they got for Christmas last year they probably won't remember but ask them about what we did and they would . My daughter has been talking about the elf since July.

[Hotheadwheresthecoldbath]

I didn't get my dd and Christmas presides when she was 2.She still got so much from the family that most of it was put away and a new presie opened every now and then.
They don't remember anything at that age,actually as you grow up you remember very little of anything before you are 5.You don't have to buy much but take photos to make memories.

[FlouncyDoves]

Each to their own but YABU in being so judgemental in your op - about grandparents picking up the slack etc.

My daughter turns two 12 days before Christmas. We’ve bought her a Toot Toot toy thing (nod to Dave Gorman’s Modern Life is Goodish) for £15 in the Sainsbury’s toy sale and a tea set (to be bought in the upcoming sales) for her birthday and a toy supermarket checkout, set of building bricks and wooden railway station (all in Sainsbury’s sale event and used our £30 nectar points). So we’ll have spent around £20 in real cash. She’ll have plenty of new toys to play with and then her aunt and two sets of grandparents will also buy her some toys. She doesn’t need that many new things at once.

I’ve also just found a load of Toot Toot toys second hand, so they’ll go in a cupboard and be brought out at landmarks or as a reward for doing something well etc.

For example her soon-to-be-arriving baby sister will ‘give’ her the airport as a gift (to match the airplane we’ve bought her for Xmas).

YANBU to spend £400+ if you want to, but it’s not impressive and nor is it right to be a bit more realistic about what you buy your children.

[FlouncyDoves]

*tight not right. Bloody autocorrect

[Ski4130]

I think your definition of poor is a bit skewed, your parents weren't poor if they could spend £1k on each of you at Christmas. Even if there were only two of you, that equates to them saving £166 a month to buy £2000 worth of gifts for Christmas, which by anyone's standards isn't poor.

That aside, if you're not getting in to debt to do it, then spend what you want on your kids, it's your money. This though -

All I see on Facebook and in the news are people only buying their kids one present, letting the grandparents pick up the slack or following that bloody soulless four gift rule

is you judging other people and how they choose to do Christmas, so be prepared for some judgement back.

[PickAChew]

You should pay off your debts because you don't know what's around the corner.

[NorksAkimbo72]

This thread makes me so sad...it's all about 'Stuff' being the star of a really nice Christmas. Mine are 11 and 10. They are old enough now that we have solid, very inside jokey holiday traditions that we get silly and excited about every year. Both DCs still believed in Santa last Christmas, and DC1 and i both cried when he found out the truth...Santa was a fun part of our tradition. We bake gifts for our friends and neighbours together, we decorate the house, we all have the MOST ridiculous themed pyjamas. We splash out a bit on our Christmas eve meal(that we cook together)...and try new things (last year was octopus!). We see the panto at some point, too.
Oh, and the LAST special thing in our repertoire is gifts, but it's a very small part...I love choosing special things for both DC...as well as goofy jokey gifts. Our spend is probably £80-£100 each, and we are comfortable. There is just no need to make Christmas about the presents...it is so not the point, and it makes me sad for your son that the magic of Christmas is all about material stuff. Do what you want, OP, as long as you're prepared for what may come.