to want to give my two year old the best Christmas ever

[mancmama1614]

When I was a little girl, growing up my parents were really poor. However they saved all year for Christmas and used to spend up to £1k on each of us so we had loads of Christmas presents to open. We made loads of family Christmas memories too (Disney on ice, Christmas Eve hampers, eve-of-the-eve-of-Christmas-eve presents) and I look back on those Christmases with the fondest of memories.
Now, I am in a similar position to what my mum and dad were in when they were younger; my partner earns a good salary (I am a SAHM) however we are paying off quite hefty debts from our hedonistic twenties 🙄 so we are strictly on a tight budget.
AIBU to still go what some people would class as overboard at Christmas? So far the presents I have bought him are about 35 in total, I have spent about £350-£400 (don't count) but still want to get him all the clangers merchandise which will be another £150.
Added to this there will be visits to the santa train, Christmas parties at all the playgroups we go to and a winter wonderland trip.
His birthday is in January and we would like to have a big party for him and all his friends and also buy about 10-15 presents for that too.
Can I just add we aren't taking out any credit for this because I wouldn't be accepted for any anyway
All I see on Facebook and in the news are people only buying their kids one present, letting the grandparents pick up the slack or following that bloody soulless four gift rule.
Not buying for adults this year and me and my partner aren't buying for each other but we are buying for kids of friends.
Does anyone else do a Christmas like this when they are on a bit of a budget? Or any free trip ideas (ideally in Manchester) to add an extra special touch?

[CiderwithBuda]

I think you are mad. My sister has a similar viewpoint. I watched her kids one Xmas morning opening their presents (they were staying with us) and it was sad to watch. They opened one, threw it to one side and were on to the next. I hated watching it.

You can give your son the best Xmas ever without buying hundred of presents. He will be overwhelmed. It's actually not fair to him either.

We were not well off growing up and we got what we wanted but not many extras. Still had lovely Christmases.
We are now financially comfortable and I do get DS a lot (he is now 16) but I've always tried not to go too overboard.

If you find that people buy him a present to do Xmas and Birthday remember that and hold more back for his birthday yourselves.

[thecatsthecats]

I expect the woman who puts a full mound of presents that dwarf her tree will be doing the rounds again this year, looking for attention that she can defend herself from.

YANBU to try and give your child a lovely Christmas. But he's two. He'll probably want to actually, you know, PLAY WITH some of the toys he's opened, not sit around opening more and more and more.

I'm definitely not one of those race to the bottom when-I-was-a-child-I-got-an-egg-and-was-grateful types, but you need to balance the reality of what will make it fun and enjoyable for your son, and what you are doing - focusing on the gifts.

My Christmas memories are of secretly putting sweets into parents slippers on December 6th, going carol singing, my parents pulling off wizardry with our stockings, the year we went into midnight mass at 11pm, and when we came out it had snowed just in time for Christmas, and lighting the candle for travelers. The stand out gifts were a solve your own mystery book, which I sat with for bloody hours ignoring everything else, and a Sega Dreamcast secondhand from my brother to share with my sister.

Don't buy the extra gifts whatever you do. Invest in building a whole world around the season, instead of something which is exciting to look at, but actually uninteresting to your son.

[Justanothernameonthepage]

I do agree it's slightly overboard (but obviously coming from a good place).
Maybe think about starting a tradition of a Birthday party mid year (could even be winter themed if you're near an indoor snowzone,) instead. That might relieve the mental pressure? (My bf sister used to do that, 6 months later was the new date which meant she had a family birthday and a fun one)

[chocz]

I worry that you are living way beyond your means as a sahm you are considering a Christmas blow out and hen a big party.

I think that is madness.

How much money are you thinking of blowing? How much more debt could be paid off instead?

[Xmasbaby11]

I'd rather spread out the experiences throughout the year. Likewise with presents - not too many at 2. By the time he's 2.6 he might be into different things.

Both my dd have Jan birthdays and if they get too much they just can't appreciate it just after Xmas. I just end up having to hide them away for a few months.

[chocz]

Sorry I get it now - but wow I think it is way too much money.

[ALemonyPea]

Yes you ABU, but you’re not going to listen to reasoning anyway are you?

You certainly didn’t live I. Poverty if your parents could afford 1k each and the other stuff. There is a thread currently running about true poverty, take a look at it and then you’ll understand why people are saying that.

At 2, your DS won’t remember anything, next year maybe yes. Save your money on the gross amount of toys, and spend it more on memories. I honestly can’t tell you what I got for Christmas until I was 7.

[Jenpug]

My son was just 3 last christmas. He probably had about a third of what you're suggesting to open up. It took us until after new year to get through it all. He wanted to play with every single new toy. The pile of colourful packages was no where near as exciting as the actual toy in front of him.

[sayhellotothelittlefella]

But he won't remember - he's 2.

[colonelgoldfish]

My mum was the same. We lived like paupers all year and had so much at Christmas. She tried her best but I’d have rather had less at Christmas and a bit more throughout the year.

I don’t think having huge numbers of presents equates to ‘the best Christmas ever’. It’s the memories made that does.

We don’t spend much on our 2 at Christmas (they’re 3 & 5). Probably spend about £150 on both of them at Christmas, maybe a little more this year as my daughter has started school so have less childcare to pay. They’re always really happy and grateful with what they get and means we don’t have a house full of ‘stuff’. We put a lot of effort into making the run up to Christmas special and exciting. Going places (doesn’t have to be expensive), choosing and decorating the tree, watching Christmas films with hot chocolate etc.

Each to their own though. It would be a boring world if we were all the same. I would save the money while he was 2 though as he won’t remember it at all.

[LemonShark]

Wow. Spend as much of that money as possible paying down your debt so you're not saddled with paying debt off for years to come. Make some happy memories as a family and get a few nice presents for your child. Christmas for kids is all about the expedience and family time and the food and atmosphere and tree, I guarantee you a kid having a grand spend on their gifts isn't gonna be any happier than a kid having £100 spent on them.

It's like you're trying to use money as a conduit for love and prove how much you love him by directly correlating it to how much you've spent. You're a SAHM with debt. Grow up and handle your financial responsibilities instead of blowing hundreds on a load of presents that aren't necessary. The more you give him the less special they'll be anyway.

[chocz]

Question for you OP - you are looking at spending or have spent over 500 pounds on presents.

Do you have 500 pounds in a bank account for your 2 year old?

If you out 500 away each Christmas - then when your child turned 20 they would have 10K.

[BoredOnMatLeave]

I wouldn't say I am super environmentally friendly but you have got to be joking that you think its just the boxes? We really don't need anymore plastic toy shit in this world, let alone 30 odd presents for 1 child.

My step-sisters were given similar at christmas and everything was tossed aside so that they could open the next thing. They would have been more excited if they were just given 5 of those presents.

They are teens now and when I talk about Christmas they go on about how they used to see Father Christmas at Poultons park every year, they don't remember any of the presents.

[Scabbersley]

I watched her kids one Xmas morning opening their presents (they were staying with us) and it was sad to watch. They opened one, threw it to one side and were on to the next. I hated watching it

I had a similar experience once at a friends. The kids were given a black bin bag FULL of presents in one room and the parents all sat in the kitchen drinking. When they went back in, there were broken toys, paper and ripped up packaging everywhere and the kids were fighting. It was hands-down the most depressing thing I've ever seen at Xmas.

[llangennith]

You know you’re doing this for yourself don’t you OP? You’re getting a great deal of pleasure from buying your DS all this stuff and it’s nothing to do with anyone else. I think you know it’s bonkers!
Your DS would be quite happy with far less. As previously said, take him to see Santa, a pantomime, Christmas light, and talk about the experiences afterwards. The conversations beginning “do you remember when we went to see...?” will reinforce his happy memories for years.
I can guarantee you won’t be having conversations along the lines of, “Remember when you had lots of Clangers stuff when you were two?”

[Glumglowworm]

It's your choice.

But since you asked, I think it's stupid to spend so much on Christmas for a toddler who won't remember it while you're in debt.

I also think you have a strange idea of poverty if you think anyone who can save a spare couple of grand to splash out on Christmas is poor.

Prioritise paying off the debt so you can spend more on Christmas in s few years time when he'll actually appreciate it and remember

[HandbagCrazy]

I’m not sure the point of your post OP as the way you do Christmas is so dependent on your views / circumstances. You’re bound to get some posters who would spend £1k and think you’re being mean, some who can only afford £50 and others again who choose to limit how much they buy.

Obviously you have to do what’s right for you. I would only say, based on recent conversations with 2 very spoiled children in my family, that it’s the experiences that they remember. DNephew, who has ££££ spent on him every year, when asked about his best Christmas / favourite gift - the year he was allowed his own Christmas tree in his room so he could decorate it himself and was given a day out at crazy golf.
DNiece - favourite present - a ‘girl party’ (her words) where she spent an hour or 2 on Boxing Day with her mum, sister, grandmother and aunties, painting each others nails and putting sparkles on each others faces.

I would also add, as someone who’s parents spent similar to yours each year, I can’t remember 90% of my presents so in that sense, my parents wasted a lot of money.

[SleepingStandingUp]

And he may not be overwhelmed but he is likely to be bored by present 396 and frustrated he can't play with the really cool toy he opened 6 hours previously

[Scabbersley]

There's a thread on here somewhere from one poor woman who is considering not getting her 2 year old anything as she's so skint. You should be a bit ashamed of yourself OP. Stepping away now as this thread is making me irrationally cross.

[MycatsaPirate]

Please don't.

Put some of those presents by for his birthday.

He is 2. Where is all this stuff going to go? 50 odd presents plus another 15 for his birthday is an awful lot of 'stuff' for him to have.

When DD1 was 3 I had bought about 10 presents for her and then her Grandparents showed up on Xmas eve with about 60 fucking presents. It was insane. The poor kid was getting bored going through them, she just wanted to play with stuff she had already opened.

And then there are the expectations for later years. If you start at this level when he is 2 then he is going to expect this every Xmas. I cannot imagine you trying to buy 50 odd presents when he is a teenager.

Just keep it simple and aim for 10 to 15 presents because they really don't need any more than that. All you will end up with is a ton of stuff he doesn't play with, a room full of paper and cardboard and a feeling of horror when you realise you need to find a home for all these things.

[JayoftheRed]

Last year, DS2 was 6 months old. My friend asked what she should get him for Christmas. I said he will only want to play with the paper, so don't worry about it.

She got him a shoebox filled with loads of different bits of Christmas wrapping paper. Shiny and sparkly and silver and what have you.

It was his best present.

[Haudyerwheesht]

Your parents weren't poor say there's 3 of you siblings that's £3k at Christmas: that's £57 a week! They could manage to pay that and presumably feed clothe and heat you. You weren't poor. Get a grip.

I spend a lot on my kids at Christmas - I also give a lot of time and money to charities throughout the year and also I didn't spend anything like £500+ ever and certainly not when they're 2!

[JayoftheRed]

And, I should add, my then 4 year old also played with it and ignored everything else, much to the chagrin of my in-laws who were very put out that he didn't want to play with their "Learn To Write" game.

[Whisky2014]

The first thought popping in to my head was also "why does it have to be ALL the clangers merch?". Seriously. You say he loves the clangers. Fine. But that still doesn't mean you need to get him every single thing related to the clangers. That's so strange and to me, it does sound like you need some kind of therapy. If you like day, take that would you expect to get every t shirt, mug, key ring, cd, dvd...you don't think think would be a bit much?
He is 2 years old he will not appreciate any of this.

[ArcheryAnnie]

I think 35 presents for a 2 year old is frankly obscene, unless you want him to grow up to be Dudley Dursley.

And it's really not good for the future, either. If he has more than 35 presents at 2 years old, how many present should he have when he's 5? or 10? This is what he will expect, and he will learn that love = stuff. Is this really what you want for him?

Do exciting activities with him, enjoy christmas to the full, make all those memories, etc etc. But don't make it all about stuff.