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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

over to the mumsnet jury - cinema certification - birthday party

29 replies

roisin · 15/04/2007 19:51

OK Ds1's 10th birthday celebration is planned for 14 July, Harry Potter 5 comes out the day before, and we have already told ds1 that he can take a few friends for a meal and then see the film.

Today I watched HP4 with him on DVD and was shocked again at quite how black and scary it is, and it is a 12A certificate. The 5th book includes some grim bits, so is unlikely to be lighter in any way. I told him tonight that he would have to choose an alternative for his party celebration; that we would take him to the film, but not be responsible for a group of friends.

He's not impressed, to put it mildly! (I even offered Simpsons the Movie as an alternative, which I loathe.)

Most of his friends will be nearly 11 by then, and technically can see a 12A film with an adult, and will go and see the film independently if they don't go with us. There is one boy who is slightly younger than ds1 and has always been quite sensitive, and he may not want to go.

So what do you reckon? Yes to the HP film party, or No?

OP posts:
misdee · 15/04/2007 19:58

I would say yes, but make it clear to the parents that this is the film they are going to see, and no other choice, then its up to them if they let their children come with you.

SoupDragon · 15/04/2007 19:59

Yes but clear it directly with the parents first.

VoluptuaGoodshag · 15/04/2007 20:00

Agree, yes but inform parents first.

pointydog · 15/04/2007 20:01

agree with missdee. Make up an HP invitation and make it clear that's the film. Parents can then opt in or out without making a fuss about 'oo no, austin can't cope with scary harry potter'

MerlinsBeard · 15/04/2007 20:01

what certificate is the new one? our local cinema is quite strict about certifications and has been known to ask for proof of age for a 12

pointydog · 15/04/2007 20:02

12a just menas can go alone at 12 and with an adult if younger

Ponce · 15/04/2007 20:03

well ds1( 8.5) has never read hte books or watched the films
reckosnt heywilbe scarey

o f no use whatsoever

Tinker · 15/04/2007 20:03

Yes, as long as tell the parents. Think Pirates of teh Carribean is teh same. Would choose the Simpsons myself though.

pointydog · 15/04/2007 20:03

is he called austin?

pointydog · 15/04/2007 20:03

tp ponce

ignoremeiamtedious · 15/04/2007 20:04

tell the parents, let them decide

MrsWho · 15/04/2007 20:09

If he isn't likely to be scared by it and wants to see it , I would go for it but make sure all the parents know what they are going to see and the 12a cert etc(assuming it will be a 12a)

Think it will be quite a black film maybe not as violent fight wise but if they stick to the book will certainly involve battles and Dolorse Umbridges 'bulying' will be quite scary

MarsLady · 15/04/2007 20:19

Talk to the parents first. That way they can say no if they want to.

blimey... can't imagine anything worse than Simpsons the Movie... guess my kids and their father will be off to see that! Bleurghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

MrsWho · 15/04/2007 20:23

Just another thoughtt the cinema is usually scarier than watching a dvd at home too!

Hijack- Roisin I half expected to see you yesterday, dd1 has joined the reading group at the library and I thought it was maybe the sort of thing your boys might have gone to.

roisin · 15/04/2007 20:43

Oh thanks all, this is really helpful. As long as it's a 12A it sounds like this is going to be possible.

I'll definitely have to find a babysitter for ds2 (8): he hasn't seen HP4 on DVD - too scary yet for him. So there's no way I'm letting him see something on the big screen.

I can't abide the Simpsons, so would much rather sidestep that one if possible!

MrsWho - how was the reading group? What did they do? DS1 went once to the group when it was 8-14s, but they were mostly top-end young teens, and he was terrified! We're mostly busy Saturdays these days though.

What is your dd reading atm?

OP posts:
roisin · 15/04/2007 20:45

They will have to do the Umbridge punishment of lines which etch themselves into his skin won't they? I don't know why but of all the things in HP that's the one I find most disturbing: and the whole teacher/pupil thing is a very close one for children.

OP posts:
Londonmamma · 15/04/2007 20:47

Definitely speak to the other parents and explain your dilemma before you send out the invites. Your DH might have to think again if some parents say no. This is a tricky one - things are more scary on the big screen than DVD. You'll certainly enjoy HP more thatn The Simpsons though!

MrsWho · 15/04/2007 20:48

Yeah I think its one of the worse bits too, more psychological torture too as well as the physicalstuff from Umbridge

MrsWho · 15/04/2007 20:54

It was 7-11 yo so not too bad , dd1 was the youngest but she really enjoyed it.They were discussing the Kate Greenway medal books and comparing different ones then next time are discussing the short list (that was all I caught of it as dd2 wasn't being very quiet so we went wandering!)
She has a book review sheet to do at home and is very proud of being in a book club
She is reading Firework makers daughter (think thats what its called) by Phillip Pullman but does keep diverting back to Fairy books [rolls eyes]

Think 8-14 would have put dd off but 7-11 seems to work better and they all seemed like nice kids and made her welcome.The librarian knew her and couldn't believe she was old enough as she used to be my librarian!

agnesnitt · 16/04/2007 10:29

It's your son's birthday, he should be able to see what he wants

As for the films being scary, my four year old loves them, so I think it often depends on the character of the child, just let the parentals know what you're off to see, and enjoy it greatly. I'm sure Umbridge will have them looking forward to school and 'nice' teachers at any rate

Agnes
(desperately hoping she can keep her legs crossed long enough for HP5 and HP7 to be enjoyed)

pageturner · 16/04/2007 10:35

I agree with others, as long as you speak to the other parents first I think it would be fine. My children have seen all four films (they're 8, 6 and 4) and I'll certainly be taking my 8 year old to see HP5 when it comes out. I'm actually thinking about taking dd (6) as well.

shouldbedoingsomethingelse · 16/04/2007 10:39

I would speak to parent and they can discuss it with their child before making up their minds.

Having said that my 6 yo cant wait to see it will need to check that I can take a 6 yo he has loved all the HP films and cried for 2 hours when I took the older ones to the cinema last time!

kslatts · 16/04/2007 10:50

I agree that as long as the parents are aware you are going to see a film which is 12A then it's fine.

LizP · 16/04/2007 11:01

Talk to the parents before the invitations go out. Then if they aren't happy you can change the film or if it is just one child decide if your ds is happy to leave them out. But then I'm quite fussy about what my childen can see and would probably say no (especially as I wouldn't have been able to see it first). ds1 has definately missed a party as I didn't want him to see the film with a 12a certificate.

agnesnitt · 16/04/2007 14:23

I wouldn't expect somebody to change birthday plans just because I was unhappy with them. If it was a case of my daughter being invited somewhere I didn't want her to go I'd apologise and thank them for the offer and send a card and gift instead I can't see the point in having a birthday do for a child and then tailoring it to everyone except the birthday girl or boy.

Agnes