Just did my first tinkly laugh and teally enjoyed it

[mikeyssister]

Long story so please bear with me.

DD3 has a "friend" who had a birthday party about 6 months ago in the last year of primary. DD3 wasn't available to attend the birthday party so I don't know would she have been invited as they knew she was away. I was speaking to the "friend's" mother who said that her DD had only invited some of the girls from the class, she hadn't invited a couple (my DD would have made 3). I told mother I was surprised that she had allowed her DD to exclude them. Mother gave a tinkly laugh and said she thought her DD was old enough to decide for herself who to invite to the party.

Anyway, fast forward to DD3's Birthday. She's not in class with any of her old primary friends but sees 3 regularly outside school and travels to school on the bus with this "friend". DD3 invited the other friends and 4 new friends to the cinema and back to ours for pizza after.

I bumped into the other mother in the shop this morning, and she said that her DD had been disappointed not to be invited to the party, as they're such good friends .

I gave a tinkly laugh and said I thought DD3 was old enough to decide for herself who to invite to the party. I really, really enjoyed it, but she looked hurt.

Was I being unreasonable?

[Topseyt]

And, not band. Silly autocorrect.

[Oswin]

No idea what a tinkly laugh sounds like either. Just tried it out and sounded like a cartoon villain.

[Bonez]

Was a bit mean as I'm sure the kids who weren't invited to 'friends' party didn't get on with the birthday girl. However it's coming across that your DD and this woman's DD are in fact good friends so it is a little mean of your DD not to invite her.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

You "really enjoyed it"? You've been sitting on some random comment she made months ago, waiting to get back at her? And it's all about who gets invited to childrens' birthday parties? Seriously, this is the most pathetic thing I've read in a long time. You need to get a hobby or read a book or something.

[TheSultanofPingu]

It sounds to me as though your dd wasn't invited as they knew she'd be away.
All quite petty really.

[Groovee]

The other mother reminds me of my SIL. She would say something like this and not take it well if someone said it back to her!

Move on. And forget about her.

[LastOneDancing]

The 'friend' was being a hypocrite.

But I think I'd have said 'we'll it's like you said last year about **'s party - the girls are old enough to make up their own minds'
instead of the PA tinkling and whatnot. And then avoid.

[Sunshineandshopping]

I think you behaved like a narrow minded, passive aggressive bitch.

[Devonishome1]

Ha ha that’s funny😆

[StealthNinjaMum]

Ilostitintheearlynineties I just did as you advised (dh has taken dc swimming so I am on my own) and I sound like an idiot. And I don't know if I am meant to tilt my head to the side or forward. I have been on mumsnet for about ten years and I feel I have failed as a mumsnetter.

[Mamabear4180]

yabu because you should always strive to be the bigger person and besides your answer was mean because she specifically told you her DD was upset whereas you didn't. She won't understand what she's done to upset you because the chances are she wasn't over thinking her original comment in the first place but you just laughed at her child

I would apologise if I were you, just go up to her next time you see her and say 'sorry i was a bit rude the other day, I just realised you said your DD was disappointed, would she like to come round to ours at x a time on x a day instead as she didn't come to the party'? Well that's what I would do instead of playing one up.

[Dancergirl]

Grow up OP, how old are you, 12?

Immature and petty.

[pret]

That was too pointed to qualify as a tinkly little laugh imo.

[PinkHeart5914]

So they didn’t invite your dd as they knew she was away, Surely even in your childish head you didn’t expect them to Invite a child knowing she was away

She travels on the bus everyday to school with this girl, presumably sits next to her. Of course they are friends.

I don’t think some adults like the op ever left the school playground really

[Sunshineandshopping]

pret to be fair I did follow it with deadpan face and hard stare.

[pallasathena]

How incredibly immature of you...time to practise being a grown up perhaps?

[AuntLydia]

So you make a point of telling the friends mum she shouldn't exclude people when really it was none of your business as your dd wasn't even available. Then when friend's mum does the same to you you don't like it and make a deliberate pass aggressive comment back?

I'm cringing for all mums involved really. You need to keep your beaks out and let the girls get on with stuff.

[kierenthecommunity]

I’m not sure why you felt you needed to be a self appointed advocate for the two excluded girls in the first place. They’re in year 6 not year 1 where all class parties are considered appropriate. What did it have to do with you?

[magicstar1]

I don't blame you at all. Personally I would have said "Remember what you told me last year? Same applies to my dd. She's old enough to make up her own mind"

[BarbarianMum]

I don't know about unreasonable but I think you were equally unpleasant. But as long as your dd is happy that you've jettisoned the friendship I guess no skin off your nose.

[AuntieBeast]

Surprised everyone's piling on you, OP. Made me laugh!

The children are 3 and most likely oblivious. You were just holding a mirror up to “other mother” and giving her a taste of her own medicine. I only wonder if she remembered you were quoting her!

[RandomMess]

Surely these DC are year 7 so turning 12??

YANBU it was a small celebration!

[lubeybooby]

tbh OP you know full well your DD was only not invited as she knew you'd be away. If you don't then you're a knob because that seems really, blindingly obvious to everyone else. Being spiteful on the back of that - yes I'm afraid YABU.