To be annoyed at these childminders?

[Twopeapods]

Me and a friend have been meeting up most Wednesdays at the local soft play centre, and lately two childminders have been meeting there also on a Wednesday.

Me and my friends usually let our kids play in the toddler area where we sit while we have a cuppa, then when the kids want to go into the big area we go with them and take them down the slides, through tunnels, etc. They are capable but we just all go in and have a good play.
We have never seen the childminders come in to check/play/watch the children. They are between one and a half to two and a half. And they have four children between them. Last week one of the ladies brought a little boy in to the toilet while me and DD were in, and when the little boy finished he said 'I need to wash my hands' and the childminder said 'no, just leave it and go play'. I was quite shocked especially as the little boy had asked!

And often the children cling to me and my friend and join in with us to play. We usually don't mind too much if everyone is behaving, but today I just got really annoyed. The kids were wanting us to help them climb up the steps, go on the splat ball etc and when we went to go to another part with our kids, one of the other kids tantrumed because we were no longer there to help her up. I've now just been saying when the kids ask, 'go find your adult if you want to do that'. And when one of the boys starting pushing all the other kids in full view of the childminder, I told him it's not nice to push etc. While she just sits pretending not to see. And it is quite often one of their minded that are doing the pushing etc. The women are getting paid to look after these kids, and I would be furious as one of their parents and found out that they just get left to their own devices in the play centre etc. It just seems so lazy!
Surely IANBU????

[Lethaldrizzle]

Soft play not for adults? ! Then how are you supposed to help them when there's a problem or even just have a bit if fun with them? I've been approached by numerous kids over the years to help them or play with them because their carers are ignoring them

[Her0utdoors]

Yup, sounds familiar, although you left out the bit where they are slagging off the parents of their mindees OP. Of course NACMALT, but I've seen enough negligence and unprofessional behaviour to never leave DC with one again.

[Snap8TheCat]

Pick a more suitable time if you really must use those apps.

Erm since when are you any of these cms boss? You don’t get to tell anyone when, where and how they conduct their business. No one employs a childminder, not even ofsted despite what you read on here.

[GreenTulips]

I know exactly why you are saying!

Some do hair as you say .... they shouldn't be childminders

[WheresTheEvidence]

"There is nothing worse than kids trying to play on the equipment and being unable to as an adult is stuck like a beached whale in the coloured balls"

Agree the little ones I look after get upset when they can't access things because an adult is sat on a climbing bench or there's 2 adults in a small pace with 1 baby so they can't get into the ball pit etc.

[GreenTulips]

The local one here is 'too big' for little Ines to climb up and need an adult to help them - OP is happy to take her kids up and supervise

The others can't get up and OP shouldn't encourage them to do so, they should as the Costas to help them, but unlikely they will.

[MerchantofVenice]

There are pretty clear signs up in all the soft play centres I've been to explaining that you need to supervise your children. It's fairly obvious really...

[AuntLydia]

Snap8, there are loads of them on here at the moment! I'm wondering if it is a particular problem with childminders in the South East which I tend to think of as the main mumsnet area. Or is it a perception problem? People assuming anyone with a load of kids and a devil may care attitude must be a childminder or watching all childminders like hawks to find examples of them slipping up. I dunno.

I see a lot of childminders around my neck of the woods and there's only one where I wonder why anybody would leave their child with her. It's a shame when there are people like that putting our whole profession into disrepute.

[Notagainmun]

I am childminder and am horrified to hear there are so many bad ones about! I have had most of my clients through being observed at playgroup and softplay. As was said up thread I tend to be left with several other children wanting attention who are not my charges.

Oh, by the way it is half term here in Wales and two of my charges are away and the other is off I'll. I am not neglecting anyone by being on here.

[UnicornRainbowColours]

I’m a nanny and my pet hate is childminders/nannies who sit in a group and ignore their children.

Do I have a coffee and cake yes! But I still supervise my child. that said I find it really annoying when the parents all sit in the play area so the kids can’t move around properly.

[Wellandtrulyoutnumbered]

I've no issue with going and finding a child's adult if they need help or supervision. OP go up to the childminder and tell them their presence is required.

[Evelynismyspyname]

Children need line of sight supervision at soft play, and small children need someone line of sight supervising and ready to climb in and physically help if needed.

The absolute nightmare rage inducing adults are the ones with multiple adults blocking the equipment competing with each other to be the most involved with one single child, or indeed largely forgetting about the child and blocking the equipment performance playing for one another, or just chatting! Other kids will generally say nothing and effectively that part of the equipment might as well be broken and roped off because the multiple adults are blocking it.

In many places multiple adults using the equipment are a physical risk to independent small children because of the weight discrepancy.

[Lethaldrizzle]

Mmm "beached whale" stuck in the ball pit - nope it's not a description I relate to!

[Tanith]

“Snap8, there are loads of them on here at the moment!”

This thread has been going for 10 hours so no, there are not “loads of then on here at the moment”.

I get very tired of seeing this lazy attempt at shutting down a perceived inferior (“them”? ).

We are adults, running our own businesses, managing our own time and working to our own schedules. We do not need to justify our presence on Mumsnet to you!

[Flowerbot]

I agree with you OP and can’t understand why you’re getting a hard time from people. If I found out my childminder wasn’t bothering to supervise my toddler properly or not allow her to wash her hands I’d sack her. I wouldn’t expect her to be constantly playing (although I would expect her to play for some of the time with a very little child who can’t climb about so much on their own) but at the VERY LEAST they should be mindful of their mindees’ safety which they’re not doing if they’re not even watching them.

[AuntLydia]

I get sick of people not reading stuff properly Tanith. I am a childminder - referencing the fact that there are loads of childminder bashing threads on here at the moment, which is what snap8 was talking about.

[RolyRocks]

This was one of the reasons I wanted to avoid a childminder for my DD too, as I had seen how 'lax' some of the childminders at soft play and playgroups were.

I know not all childminders do that with their charges but I didn't want the risk.

[Mittens1969]

You are supposed to supervise your children at soft play, not just ignore them and chat or look at your phone. That’s ok for children of 5+, as long as they’re behaving, but not for 1-3 year olds. There are notices to that effect.

It really annoys for me too, OP. I’ve seen children pushing my DCs over / hogging play equipment, I’ve looked to see who’s supervising them and it’s been impossible to work it out. One of those people hiding behind their phones pretending not to notice without a doubt.

[Twopeapods]

I avoid weekends and school holidays generally as it's too busy, but I go when it is very quiet. I go in to help them up steps etc, but I also let them go and play themselves as I said upthread. What gets me is the complete lack of supervision these little kids get. I'm happy if they all play together nicely and sometimes they do. But I feel bad if they want put up on something like the splat ball which would require me to lift and run along with them. I will not do it as I would be the one to blame if they fell from something and got hurt. But then they cry and tantrum. The childminders do not EVER come to see why they cry. They have NEVER played with the kids that I have seen.
I did not mean for this to be a childminder bashing thread. If they were the parents they would annoy me just the same.
And I know there are also some fantastic childminders out there.

[BhajiAllTheWay]

sorry to say that's been my experience too.Im sure there are some fab childminders out there but how I'd seem them behave at toddler groups/ soft play was the reason my dc went to nursery. They couldn't have been less interested in their charges. One toddler managed to make his way out of the door, down the steps and into an adjoining shop which was on a busy road while the CM drank coffee with a gaggle of others. My friend reported her as we were the ones who rescued him.

[Notagainmun]

Bhaji, I can understand you not wanting to use a childminder if this has been your experience but I promise you there are good ones too. In the same way you have good and bad nurseries too.

Our local nursery is apparently good, but two ex employees have sent their DC to my setting as they hated the lack of care that went on behind closed doors and that is the reason they left working there. So please let's not judge a whole profession but some poor examples.

You wouldn't rate all teachers or doctors as bad because of a few useless ones so why do all childminder get tarred with the same mm e brush?

[WorraLiberty]

Pick a more suitable time if you really must use those apps

Erm since when are you any of these cms boss? You don’t get to tell anyone when, where and how they conduct their business. No one employs a childminder, not even ofsted despite what you read on here.

You don't have to be anyone's boss to know a 1 year old and a 2 year old need supervising in a public soft play center, instead of the adult in charge being engrossed in their phone!

And for the avoidance of doubt, there'll be signs on the walls asking parents/carers to supervise their kids.

[MerchantofVenice]

I've literally never seen adults blocking up all the equipment either

This seems to be one of those threads where the very first response, bizarre as it was, set the tone - so one poster said that, basically, you're not meant to supervise tiny children in soft play, and everyone piled in agreeing that the done thing is to dump your kids on the equipment and pretend they're not yours. Insane.

[Nothingrhymeswithfamily]

Mine are too old for soft play, but i was one of the adults that went in. Due to the age gap i would only ever have one at the soft play at a time and they would want me with them. Not to mention there had been a few instances of mine getting picked on, so it makes sense to go too.
But generally i would end up with a gaggle of children playing, and we would go round and play stuff whilst their parent / carer would be chatting or on their phone. Its clear some children need that extra reassurance and guidance of playing and some don't. The childminders should be taking the children lead on this. Its annoying but i used to just accept it and look at it as the children get an extra play mate although one of mine used to hate sharing me like this

[user1491295468]

I think you might find that the decent childminders happen to be the ones who avoid these places for all of the reasons that you’ve already mentioned.