To think driving to roads where there's good trick or treating is a bit wrong

[sahknowme]

We live in an area that puts a lot of effort into trick or treating (assumingly for the "local" kids). There's recently been a thread on a forum asking for streets/routes that are good to drive to for their kids to trick or treat, and our street has been mentioned.

AIBU to think this is a bit wrong/grabby, and we are doing it for our local area - not for randoms to drive from all over town?!

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

Not sure about this. My dc are older now, but when they were small I would only ever take them to knock on houses where we knew the residents. I wouldn't let them knock on strangers doors and I don't expect any strange kids to knock on mine. If they did I wouldn't refuse to give them anything but I would feel the parents are taking the piss.

My MIL lives in the States in quite a posh area full of retirees. They have loads of non local kids being driven into the estate and she is refusing to do Halloween this year as she feels it's too intrusuve/Grabby.

[VivaLeBeaver]

Saying that if non local kids come here I would of course still give them sweets. No monkey nuts for the poor kids here! Shocked at that.

[Ttbb]

There is a point where it becomes Unreasonable. If you can't walk/your children's friends son live within walking distance then you probably are going too far. The last thing is you is for good trick or treating streets to be put off because too many people are coming.

[MaisyPops]

Walking distance, that should be the deciding factor. If it’s a drive away then it just seems wrong to me.
I agree.
I get going to a friend's house and going around their area together (e.g. company or you live with lots of elderly etc), but the idea if driving across town to a 'better' street that looks better so you can get more sweets is silly and grabby to me.

Maybe people could make their own areas more halloweeny instead of deciding its other people's job to give their kids a halloween experience.

[coddiwomple]

Not sure where the 'children of poor parents who can't afford to choose where they live' sentiment comes from.
So true, but it's easier for posters to paint a certain picture

The problem is also that you will always have people taking the piss. There were posts on my local groups complaining that residents did not make enough efforts, on the other side of town, and the parents were driving for nothing and had disappointed kids! Bloody cheeks, and whilst they were out themselves, I am guessing they were not giving away sweets either, were they?

It is a bit rude to grab sweets in your non-local area, meaning the local kids will miss out, but you will always have entitled people, won't you.

The solution (more practical than the ID card!) is to have a "secret map" given to the school friends and neighbours, so they know which house welcomes trick or treaters without advertising too much on the street.

It's no hard work, just do put a post on your local School and neighbouring group and people add themselves up. Only takes one person to collect and spread the list, and job done.

[EvilRinguBitch]

DD has a mate who lives in a wealthy area of London with lots of Americans where the whole street goes absolutely all out for Halloween. When I dropped her off for a Halloween party there I noticed several groups of trick or treaters from heaven knows where getting off the tube. It is quite cheeky but the inhabitants are literally multi-millionaires so they can afford to send the help to Lidl for an extra few kilos of sweets without feeling too much pain, and it all seems to be quite fun.

[Iwanttobe8stoneagain]

I too saw this in a local forum on Facebook and thought it was a bit out of order. Surely you just walk to local places. Mind you I hate Halloween especially this grabby must get as many sweets as possible thing. We’ll be doing the few participating houses on our road.

[sahknowme]

I think my point is - when does it become unreasonable? This was mentioned on a forum of over 2000 parents. I don't have a problem with people within walking distance, but getting hundreds of kids descending onto my house/street for the night is rather intimidating.

[Piggywaspushed]

I really don't know what's happening any more!

I learnt least year you 'had ' to decorate your house for Halloween other wise your huge stockpile sweets would go unclaimed as no one will knock at a door unless the inhabitants put on a show. That didn't happen back in my day. Part of the fun was knocking on a door to see whether the inhabitants were in/ would answer!

I now learn I must not give sweets to DCs form outside of my street! Bloody hell!

I grew up in Scotland. We went guising. happily accepted monkey nuts and roamed all over my medium sized town knocking on doors. Some of this was pre organised with other families, some of it was knocking on old people's doors - many were very welcoming, some were grumpy. It was part of the jeopardy.

It looks like I'll have to go and get a loud hailer and tell people to come to my house tonight.

We used to live in a quiet area with no street lights. It was tough for my kids. If it had crossed my mind to take them to a family filled estate, I would have done.

[Impostress99]

Sonya sounds like Tubs from The League of Gentlemen. Look her up dear.

[MinervaSaidThar]

SonyaY - I think you've completely missed the sentiment around Halloween.

If there was a Halloween Scrooge, it would be you. How utterly sad.

[Oblomov17]

I don’t like kids coming from too far away. I think it’s wrong. We get tonnes.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Yanbu op at all, I live in such an area and it drives me spare. Fair enough if it's a Saturday it can be a laugh, but on a Tuesday when you've just picked the DC up/ you've come from work and the hammering starts at 5pm whether your pumpkins are lit or not because they can see you cooking tea. We get about 500 Kids usually. It isn't meanness, I'm quite happy to buy stuff it's having to do it on a particular night whether or not it works for me that irks.

Nobody minds at all, and everyone gets into the spirit.

I wouldn't be so sure of that tbh. I've had prior trilling 'ooh aren't they all generous' as they wander round smiling. It's where people live not a Theme park. Interestingly many of the ones who drive to us are from more expensive areas not less!

[laurzj82]

See I live in an area which is good for trick or treating and the more the merrier in my opnion! I love it! That being said, I don't like older children doing it. Where we live, people only knock if you have a pumpkin out.

[fairgame84]

I will admit that i used to do this when DS was little. We lived down a street of mainly elderly people and only 2-3 houses did Halloween. I used to take DS to the street where his child minder lived because all the houses took part. The child minder and the neighbours were fine with it.
Now we live on a street where Halloween is a big thing and I don't care who comes to my door. As far as I'm concerned Halloween is for kids, they dress up and get so excited about it and it's awful for them if they happen to live on a non participating street. I'm not going to deny an excited child a sweet just because they have the wrong postcode.

[CheekyRedhead]

I still see it as begging, I think it's fine to go to agree to go to friends or families houses who are expecting you but not to strangers. My mum lives alone and at 73 with walking difficulties it can be scary to have people banging at your door when it's dark. Please think about where you knock.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Please think about where you knock.

^^this. Only if pumpkins are out even if you know them (unless you have specifically arranged to go round at that time).

[WhirlwindHugs]

I think it's unreasonable to advertise. You don't know if the people who live there mind or not.

I know an area that's well known to have lots of Americans living in (because of the military, so they're not super rich) and last year 2 coaches of British kids turned up to join in.

That is not okay by any stretch of the imagination, and whoever organised that is nuts.

Kids walking from the other side of town is completely fine and would be welcomed though.

We're driving elsewhere today because we're going with friends. I'll leave a bowl of sweets out here.

[coddiwomple]

you spend the year teaching the kids not to accept sweets from strangers, not to go into strangers'houses, not to follow someone for sweets or looking for their puppy... but some people think it's fine to encourage their snowflakes to go to completely random strangers "because i'ts Halloween and they are entitled to free stuff".

It's a shame there's always someone spoiling it for everybody and putting off houses who were doing nice things for the neighborhood, but what can you do.

At least they should respects houses with no pumpkin. No one "owes you" a couple of cheap free sweets.

[deepestdarkestperu]

Doesn’t it depend where you live? I mean, on my street, there are no young children. It’s all retired couples or families whose kids are too old or have left home. If a young family moved in they wouldn’t be able to trick or treat without going to the local estate which is about 5-10 minutes walk away.

Do people really think kids shouldn’t be allowed to trick or treat just because they live somewhere rural, or unsafe, or where no-one participates?

All these people who think it should be “neighbourhood children only” - what if it was your DC in that situation? Would you be happy to say “no, you can’t go because we’d have to go onto another estate. I know all your friends from there are going but it’s just not the done thing”.

Because I bet most of you wouldn’t want to upset your own children like that.

[coddiwomple]

Because I bet most of you wouldn’t want to upset your own children like that.

I am very comfortable "upsetting" my own children forbidding them to go begging in complete strangers house - trick or treat is with friends and family only around here.

[AvoidingDM]

Wrong in my book to go to other areas. As a child we went to the houses who knew us, basically friends parents and very close neighbours.
Never to complete strangers. I also lived in a flat - not hard to go round blocks of flats.

[Stompythedinosaur]

I can't get het up about this. We live I a small village so tonight will be hosting about 5 of the dc's friends who live on farms with no one nearby for trick or treating. No necklace for local kids here, thankfully!

[EvilRinguBitch]

It’s not just about a quid’s worth of free sweets though. It’s about the fun, the group excitement, about being out after dark for the younger DC and in some areas admiring the fabulously decorated houses.