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AIBU?

AIBU to worry about little boy?

85 replies

KarmaStar · 25/10/2017 01:38

Hello,
I would like sensible advice please.
Our house is a semi detached with our back doors very close to each other,just a fence separating us.
Our young neighbours are a lovely couple who very much keep themselves to themselves which we are fine with.
When their little boy refuses to stay in bed at bed time he is taken outside and told to stay there until he behaves and he hammers on the locked door screaming and crying.after about ten minutes he is allowed back in.
When he misbehaves we can hear mum shouting through the walls.she tells him to get a bag and pack all his stuff,his clothes and toys as he has to go for being naughty.he is screaming and clearly very distressed.at other times I hear her really bellow at him that she doesn't like or want him and that he is a horrible boy and he can get out of the house for good.
The majority of the time they are a lovely family but when she lets rip the little boy(3/4 yr old)is screaming in fear and distress,it's heart breaking.
I feel terrible for writing about them as most of the time they appear like a normal loving family.should I just continue to ignore these incidents?
He used to be a sunny natured child but now is often angry,breaking things and shouting a lot.
I don't know if I should say or do anything or just mind my own business.

OP posts:

Report

charmedrose · 25/10/2017 23:27

Thank God for people like you OP who care enough to get something done and not turn a blind eye. That poor defenceless little boy needs help desperately, the sooner the better.

crazyhairdontcare · 25/10/2017 23:52

oh that' so sad, the poor wee thing. How horrible for him :(

Agree 100% with pp's, I'm glad you are going to voice your concerns. Hopefully they will put the support in place for the parents to be able to learn how to parent.

intergalacticbrexitdisco · 26/10/2017 00:03

This is evil. It made me feel sick.

Claireabella1 · 26/10/2017 00:07

Wtf? They lock him out? Please report to ss, poor little boy.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 26/10/2017 00:28

Straight to ss imo. This reminds me of a case I had years ago I’d forgotten about. A child bring locked outside in the dark for not going to bed was very clear in the notes. Based on my post at the time that child would have been in long term foster care. There were other factors of course but there will be with this child too.

AnxiousAngela · 26/10/2017 07:30

How often is this happening?
Sounds pretty awful OP

sabrinathemiddleagedwitch1 · 26/10/2017 07:58

Op please have no guilt about this. They are not nice people. It is a front when talking to neighbours etc. The true them comes out when they are locking the child out off the house. This is absolutely not you being s nosey neighbour. This is you not willing to turn the other cheek. Well done.

Grimbles · 26/10/2017 08:00

I'd be calling the police tbh. Locking a child out of the house, ffs

Stella60 · 26/10/2017 08:01

Absolutely unacceptable the whole family needs help asap please report

Ausparent · 26/10/2017 08:04

They need help. Definitely report it.

DartmoorDoughnut · 26/10/2017 08:07

Oh god I have a 3yr old and the thought of someone doing that to him totally breaks my heart please report

LoniceraJaponica · 26/10/2017 08:12

The fact that they keep themselves to themselves even more is also ringing alarm bells.

Do record anything like this as evidence. Poor little boy

MyDearAnnie · 26/10/2017 08:14

My mum did similar and I was desperate for someone to notice.

They didn't.

My life would look very different now if I'd thought I mattered.

MyDearAnnie · 26/10/2017 08:15

My point was, so do make that call.

He needs you.

And, quite frankly, so do his parents.

LittleLionMansMummy · 26/10/2017 08:20

The thought of a child enduring this makes me so sad and angry. I'm so pleased you're looking out for him op and will report.

I bellowed at my 6yo ds the other day. I was mortified, gave him a big cuddle and apologised - said it wasn't acceptable the way I'd spoken to him. I still feel bad about it now. Most parents lose it very occasionally, and take steps to rectify their mistakes, but what you describe is abuse. That boy's only voice is yours.

Please let us know what happens.

blueskyinmarch · 26/10/2017 08:24

I am a social worker and my advice is to pass on your concerns. This is not an appropriate punishment for any child never mind one so young. As has been suggested the NSPCC is a good place to start. You can call or e mail them. Give as much detail as possible. If you are willing to leave contact details is is better as whoever they pass it on to may want some clarification of details. If you are comfortable with calling SS then do that. If they decide not to act on it they should pass on the concerns to either the HV or the school. Please do act for the sake of this little boy.

JonSnowsWife · 26/10/2017 08:25

My DS has ASD and can scream for England some days! I'm still suprised none of our neighbours have yet reported us to SS with concerns!

But yes assuming this is true, then absolutely report. Promptly. Chances are you probably wont be the first neighbour to do so.

PoorYorick · 26/10/2017 08:26

Yes, report this abuse.

tinypop4 · 26/10/2017 08:27

agree with everyone else - you can help this little boy by reporting the parents abusive behaviour.

AdalindSchade · 26/10/2017 08:29

How long has this been going on for before you considered reporting it?!
I'm stunned that you even need to ask.

lookingbeyond40 · 26/10/2017 08:30

Definitely report it! The poor boy is now living in fear he’ll be chucked out! Of course he’s playing up, how can he even process what’s being said to him.

This is abuse. That poor boy must be scared witless and so insecure.

Good luck OP, do let us now how it all goes x

namechangefordummies · 26/10/2017 08:34

One of my stepfathers did this to me. He regularly made me pack my bags and wait for my mother to come home, all the while telling me how awful I was. It was usually for misdemeanours such as reading in the bathroom after we’d been sent to bed at 6pm at the age of 6-7. It’s terrifying at that age to be so scared so it’s even worse for a 3-4 year old.

It’s not the only thing he did so I’d query what you’re not hearing...

the emotional abuse left lasting anger issues and scars for me. I would report it. I wish my mother had done something about it when I was younger...

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VinIsGroot · 26/10/2017 08:38

Please report op!

MiraiDevant · 26/10/2017 08:42

Just a question. The parents are at the end of their tether. The boy is screaming and smashing and will not go to bed. He isn't listening. How do you get a child to stop? You can't hit him or force him and talking isn't working. Of course they should not leave him out in the cold or dark or say such horrible things but how do you deal with a child who is behaving like that? (I am not in that situation just in case I get accused of abuse now)

I am genuinely interested in what is the advice

Clandestino · 26/10/2017 08:42

Our young neighbours are a lovely couple who very much keep themselves to themselves which we are fine with.

A lovely couple? The fuck they are. They are both emotional abusers. This is not what you tell a child to punish it. Even at a height of my anger I would never ever tell my DD anything like that. It's horrendous.
Please report it to social services, they definitely need to get involved.

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