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AIBU?

... To cut my sons hair whilst he is asleep.

14 replies

Damonlufc88 · 14/10/2017 13:11

He is 5 years old and suspected ASD, awaiting follow-up to meetings with specialists. Anyway since February he hasnt had his hair cut, no reason why he just screams and throws himself around uncontrollabley, it's not safe for him nor hairdresser. We take him various barbers every week but no. Absolutely no luck. All they advise is try to do it whilst he is asleep. I'm no trained barber and he doesn't nap in the hours during the day. I attempt to tidy his fringe but he is very aware even in the dead of night. I do t want to call out a mobile hairdresser because of a waste of time, I would pay double if they could guarantee but I don't want to waste their time.

Any tips or advice

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Feministcheeseplate · 14/10/2017 13:12

IS it worth just letting it grow and putting it in a pony tail?

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scrunchSE18 · 14/10/2017 13:21

My mum trimmed my hair whilst I was asleep when I was a little girl. I thought hairdressers were breaking in during the night to cut it. And so my lifelong fear of hairdressers began... I only found out it was her as an adult! So if you do cut it yourself do tell them. On a more useful note, DH used to take ASD DS to the barbers and have him sat on his lap whilst his hair was trimmed with scissors only, no clippers.

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Damonlufc88 · 14/10/2017 13:32

@feministcheeseplate he hasn't got the sort of look that would suit a ponytail.

@scrunchse18 he used to sit on my knee with scissors only very good but I have no idea why he won't get his hair cut now. He screams and frets, panics and starts throwing himself around.


Tried to snip it in the bath during hair wash but no luck. Hopefully if he goes off to bed better tonight I'll try again

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Wide0penSpace · 14/10/2017 13:36

It could be sensory overload in the salon environment, they are brightly lit, noisy, busy places. Could you find a mobile hairdresser and explain the situation? He might be a bit more relaxed in his own environment.

Does he let you wash or brush his hair usually? He may be tactile defensive. Lots of children with ASD have sensory processing difficulties, he may also have sensory processing disorder. You could ask for an OT (occupational therapy) referral who will be able to assess him and offer practical help with his activities of daily living like dressing, washing, getting haircuts etc.

I've had a quick google and there are some good tips on these links. Good luck OP, I hope you find a solution.

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/getting-a-haircut-if-tactile-defensive.html

mamaot.com/help-kids-hate-haircuts/

nspt4kids.com/parenting/tackling-haircuts-with-sensory-sensitivities/

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DixieNormas · 14/10/2017 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raffle · 14/10/2017 13:44

We cut DS hair while he was asleep. He has ASD and couldn't tolerate having his hair touched. We just snipped it to get it out of his eyes. He's 9 now and has been going to the barber for the last couple of years Smile

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Damonlufc88 · 14/10/2017 13:44

@wide0penspace he has only recently just started having his hair washed without argument or getting frustrated. Although he has had it washed atleast every other day since birth. He has been better at brushing his teeth since stating special school. I'll give the links a read now. Much appreciated

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Msqueen33 · 14/10/2017 13:47

Both my girls have asd. I won't dare touch my 4.5 year olds hair as she hates it being touched. My 8 year old was the same at that age so we had a home hairdresser for a bit and let her sit in front of the tv and eat sweets but she couldn't handle it. Now she's fine with it. Hates having it brushed though. Am hoping we might get my youngest done at some point but I've just left it. Often it's a sensory issue. Depending on if he's hyper or hypo sensitive light touch could be very irritating. Same with brushing it could be very very painful.

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VinIsGroot · 14/10/2017 16:53

Have hairdresser come to your home ...work gradually .... Small snips in his own time ! He'll soon get used to it! My severely autistic DS is now 8 and LOVES having his hair cut. We have progressed to the barbers and the same barber who knows him well and he has to sit in the same seat too!??

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DamsonGin · 14/10/2017 17:01

I've cut our DSs' hair since they were little, I'll now get them to sit on a small seat and watch a film and I'll work round them. That way I know they'll at least be looking in the one direction, and we can have breaks if we need to. Could that be something that might work or will he not let you touch it at all?

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Damonlufc88 · 16/10/2017 07:11

I can't even get near it. As soon as I touch It or try to run my fingers through it he will run off in hysterics. My wife nanaged to do his fringe and over his ears at the weekend whilst he was sleeping

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OnTheRise · 16/10/2017 07:33

Will he let you brush or comb his hair? Because if so you can get combs with sharp bits between the teeth which do quite a good job of trimming hair when used regularly. I have a long-haired cat and it's the only way I can keep her gorgeous fur free of mats and tangles. All you do is comb, and loads comes off.

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reallyanotherone · 16/10/2017 07:37

@feministcheeseplate he hasn't got the sort of look that would suit a ponytail.

Does it really matter how he looks if a ponytail is comfortable for him and avoids the stress of a haircut?

I think how his hair looks and whether it’s in a style that suits him would be the least of your worries. Is a parental home cut when he’s asleep going to suit him better than a ponytail?

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emmaluvseeyore · 16/10/2017 07:44

Could you ask the school to work on it? I work in a special school for kids with ASD and it is something we regularly help parents with.

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