AIBU to let my nephew move in

[lalalalyra]

My bully of a brother was arrested early in the week for punching my lovely SIL. I've been NC with my brother for a while (many threads at the time) and I've come to the realisation that he is far, far more like our abusive father than he realises, and than any of us realised for a long time.

My SIL is lovely. She has been like a big sister/aunt/Mum/friend figure to me since I was young as she and my brother have been together since high school and we lived with our grandparents since I was 7. She has stayed in contact with me and my children against his wishes. She was the one who made sure I could go to the church for my older nephew's wedding despite the fact he wouldn't let me be invited to the whole thing (nephew didn't want to fall out with his dad just before his wedding, I understand that).

SIL says it's the first time he's been violent. I believe that as she's always been the one that kept him in line and has never taken any crap from him. She has spoken to him and they are going to relate and she wants to give him one last change. That's entirely her choice.

However, my 17yo nephew doesn't want to live at home anymore. He wants nothing to do with his Dad. He's been staying with friends all week. He asked me if I could speak to my DH and our kids to see if they would consider him coming to live with us until he goes to uni next year. He can't live with his older brother without moving school and his sister is away at uni.

SIL has asked me to say no. She thinks if nephew moves out his relationship with his father will be over. She wants him to come home and work on it.

I don't want to end my relationship with SIL, especially as I think she'll be at her most vulnerable home alone with him. However, I don't think my nephew will go home and his other options will negatively impact his education.

[AcrossthePond55]

I'm glad he's all settled (and fitting) right in.

Only up from here!

[Daisymay2]

Have you taken steps to get his child benefit? Sounds a bit grabby, but it is better that you have it!

[Tiddlywinks63]

Well done op!
We provided a 'refuge' for a nephew and for DS's best friend when they were teenagers and their family lives were in turmoil. It was the least we could do. Great to hear your nephew has a stable family base, goodness knows he certainly needs it!