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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put wine and chocolate in the food bank?

413 replies

Nunyabusiness · 20/09/2017 09:19

Picked up a miniature white wine and a 5 pack of twirls, husband was aghast. My view is that people who are struggling to feed their families wouldn't have funds for such treats.

(I did also put tinned fruit and veg in, by the way!)

OP posts:
GetAHaircutCarl · 20/09/2017 16:35

When I've dropped parcels into my local food banks they seem to run the same system.

Users all get a bag of staples ( with a sheet explaining what can be made).
Then they're allowed to choose some extras. Depending on how flush the bank is with extras, a number of items will be stipulated.

Mycarsmellsoflavender · 20/09/2017 16:54

Camelback I should think any type of tinned veg other than maybe baked beans would be welcome. When I live, people tend to donate snacks such as biscuits or cereals or cheap staples such as rice or pasta but nothing to have with it. Tinned tomatoes, peas, carrots, chickpeas, kidney beans etc can go towards making it into a meal. I imagine jars of sauce eg curry, tomato based sauce for pasta are popular too.

On the subject of value ranges, we are not poor but I always buy the value ranges of rice, pasta, oats, cornflakes, tinned kidney beans, tinned tomatoes and salted crisps for ourselves. For these products, the only discernible difference between the value ranges and the regular own brand range is packaging and price. Why spend more to get the same product?

ptumbi · 20/09/2017 16:57

'no, but i know people who are lazy fuckers who are claiming every penny they can, whilst working CiH and sneering at those of us who do work.'Then report them! What they are doing is illegal. How do you know I haven't?

People on here have told you, over and over, that it's not easy to rock up and get a 'free carrier bag' of food. - NO, they haven't. i keep asking, and being told they need a referral, and I keep saying that the people I Know would have no shame in churning out a sob-story to the GP about how expensive fags and drugs are, and how they can't afford food... Job done? Side order of sneering at those of us who pay for our food, and who put into food banks. I do realise that is not everyone, but round here I reckon it would be too easy. How easy is it?

But hey, you've added in the old 'bad back' bullshit. not b/s. Said to dp regularly. He's 'an idiot to keep working. Bad backs can't be proven. Go on the sick. Get benefit.'

I realise it's not everyone on benefit. But aren't we in danger of the Food banks being too easy? If people can't afford to feed their kids, why not have free school meals for them? Breakfast club? After school club meal? Then if mum/dad want to prioritise fags/drugs with their benefit money, they are the ones going hungry.

And what's wrong with soup kitchens? They can create a decent, hot free meal, cheaper than can be made at home. They get hugely attended, not only at christmas.

As I said, the foodband boxes in supermarkets round here are well stocked - what happens to that food if there are not enough 'needy' people? Do they then go to those who jsut ask for it?

The Food banks are very very successful - and advertise as such, as filling a vital need. I am just sceptical that we suddenly have so many in vital need.

Butterymuffin · 20/09/2017 17:11

ptumbi I suppose we could ask 'Are there no workhouses?'

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 20/09/2017 17:15

I'm not heartless. I fully see that there may be people who need help - benefits not come through, fleeing abuse, refugees etc. But what happened before?
You may not think you're heartless but you're certainly ignorant ptumbi. FFS, posters have explained that people can't just rock up and claim their free stuff, and they've explained why it's worse now than it used to be! And if you know people who are abusing the system then report them. These people are in the minority contrary to what the Daily Fail would have you believe by the way

I keep saying that the people I Know would have no shame in churning out a sob-story to the GP about how expensive fags and drugs are, and how they can't afford food... Job done?
No, not "job done" at all. Just because you think they're the type that would try it doesn't mean they'd be successful, or have they bragged that they get free food too? In which case, report them.

Bad backs can't be proven
Depends what the condition is. My cousin has a degenerative condition where his vertebrae are crumbling, something that shows up in tests, yet he's had a hellish time with claiming benefits. He's not lazy, he has a good work ethic but he's almost in a wheelchair because of the chronic pain.

I realise it's not everyone on benefit
You've got it the wrong way round; MOST people on benefits are not screwing the system, but are used as scapegoats for the often right wing media and it's supporters.

The Food banks are very very successful - and advertise as such, as filling a vital need. I am just sceptical that we suddenly have so many in vital need
Because as posters have pointed out a few times, the fucking system has changed to make it harder for people to make ends meet. Most people claiming benefits are working but in such poorly paid jobs that they need help, and it's got worse over the last few years. It's not hard to understand surely.

RaspberryIce · 20/09/2017 17:20

Ptumbi. If you are so convinced that people using food banks don't really need them and are chancing their arm then just don't donate to them. Simple.

mygorgeousmilo · 20/09/2017 17:23

Abbylee that would never ever happen in our foodbank, EVER. We would all be disgusted with each other. Has never and will never be considered. We're not there for that. Please don't tar all volunteers with the same brush. It such damn hard work at the foodbank, it's physically very demanding, emotionally draining, mentally tiring - and yet we go in week in week out because we love it, and we care about the people who come in and want to give them some care and understanding (as well as food) in their time of need. Nobody is there for free stuff. It wouldn't be worth it! Who would do a days back-breaking work for a free toy? You have to be wholeheartedly in it to work at the foodbank. You just couldn't do the job otherwise.

CountessOfStrathearn · 20/09/2017 17:28

womblingthree, you said, "I ask again - when your child hasn't had a decent meal for a week, ask them if they would rather have tinned spaghetti or razors?!"

Others have pointed that spaghetti AND razors are on offer anyway, but surely you can work out that if Dad has a razor, he might feel and look better for his upcoming job interview, which might help him get him and his children out of needing food banks.

WashBasketsAreUs · 20/09/2017 17:30

Genuine question for foodbank volunteers. With Christmas coming up, would it be a good idea to get a big tin of quality street etc and parcel up a selection of them in little bags and pass them on? That way they could give more people a bit of a treat and would save the volunteers having to decide who gets a big tin or dividing them up themselves?
I always give to food banks but I'll add sanitary towels and toiletries as well now. Thanks for that suggestion.

ptumbi · 20/09/2017 17:36

Ptumbi donated a fiver to the air ambulance today, so all those kids going to bed tonight with empty bellies can feel better about the world 👍 - you'd rather your money went to someone who cheats the system, drinks, takes drugs and smokes, than to someone who has been knocked over on the street or had a car accident? Train crash? Ok then. (Air ambulance save hundreds of lives, and get zero funding from the gov)

RaspberryIce - I dont. I still haven't read a single argument as to why the food banks are needed in Surrey, what happens if they have more food than needy people, how they get a referral, (other than saying 'from GP' and 'it's hard' - How hard? How?)and I've explained that I know lots of people who DO cheat the system and would have no qualms about grasping a bit more. They are reason I don't donate. If I lived in a poorer area, and saw more need, (and fewer cheats) i probably would.

And I've said the cheats have been reported. Makes no difference. These are not jsut a few people - they are Dps immediate neighbours,

So no, I don't donate.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 20/09/2017 17:37

go on the sick

I haven't heard that phrase for years.

Have you heard of the degrading interviews and appointments ill people have to go through.

It isn't that simple.

pinkblink · 20/09/2017 17:41

No ptumbi I fully support the air ambulance I'm just stunned that you are so dismissive of food banks, must be lovely living in your bubble where everyone has plenty of money, wether they earn it or cheat the system as you seem to think.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 20/09/2017 17:51

The list in our supermarket food bank is never changed. Always the same, pasta, rice, tinned tomatoes, beans...

I drop in pet food, pot noodles and sometimes a jar of jam, shampoo/conditioner. I also drop in 'treats' because when I clear out the treat drawer in the kitchen I think maybe someone might actually appreciate them. It doesn't stop anyone getting a bag of plain pasta.

Previous threads on here have had comments from food bank volunteers saying that treats are welcome but I was put off donating for a while because of the comments that they 'have' to buy items that people might not want, even though there was a section for things not included in the usual bag of pasta and jars of sauce where they could choose a treat.

So, some people say yes to treats and some say no. Some say give biscuits because it is nice to offer a cuppa and a biscuit and someone else says no because they must eat what they are given and it is not to be a treat.

It is very confusing.

steppemum · 20/09/2017 18:00

ptumbi - even the governments worst figures about how many 'benefit cheats' there are suggest something like 10%

Which means 90% of claimants are genuine.

back to the food v. treats debate. After WW2 when they went into the concentration camps, someone donated a box of lipsticks.
The women in Belsen, looking like skin and bone and dressed in rags, cherished those lipsticks and wore them with delight. There were comments about how amazing/valuable/special they were. My whole life I have just not understood that. The reason they were so special is because the women felt like women instead of prisoners/skeletons for the first time. Those lipsticks gave them back their humanity. I still don't get it, but that is because I have never been in that position. I accept that for these women it mattered.

So, razors AND spaghetti hoops.

BUT there are a lot of people saying - oh that is an idea I'll buy advent calendars, and not so many saying - Oh that's a good idea I'll buy more food.

DeleteOrDecay · 20/09/2017 18:03

If people can't afford to feed their kids, why not have free school meals for them? Breakfast club? After school club meal?

How are the schools who have had budgets cut left right and centre supposed to fund this?

Seriously baffled by the logic. Just because a minority of people take the piss doesn't mean the genuine people in need should have to miss out. If we didn't need food banks they wouldn't exist, it really is that simple.

what happens if they have more food than needy people,

Then the food bank in question keeps it stored safely for the next lot of needy people. Most of the stuff donated has a long shelf life and can be kept in a cupboard. It's not rocket scienceConfused

Not sure what you're hoping to achieve here ptumbi you obviously resent the notion of helping those in need who's circumstances differ from your own, but you won't convince anyone else to not donate so it's pointless banging on about how awful you think poor people are. All you're doing is getting people's backs up with your ignorant and insensitive comments.

steppemum · 20/09/2017 18:10

If people can't afford to feed their kids, why not have free school meals for them? Breakfast club? After school club meal?

I am a governor in a school in an area with high % free school meals.

The families that the school worries about more is the families who just miss the threshold. they are often poorer than FSM in terms of disposable income. They would miss all of the strategies suggested above too, and their kids would still go hungry

RaspberryIce · 20/09/2017 18:11

Is there a Daily Mail talkboard? If so you could try that out ptumbi? There would be plenty of people there with the same attitudes as you. You'd fit right in.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 20/09/2017 18:13

Ptumbi. It's really easy nowadays to have your benefits stopped for weeks for a variety of reasons such as missing signing on appointments. Also if you lose your job there is a long delay before benefits come through.

Most people who use food banks do so through no fault of their own.

Some might be a bit "feckless", again this often boils down to mental health issues, so again not really any fault of their own.

And some, a small minority, might be nasty lazy scroungers. But so what; I'd happily take the risk of feeding few scroungers than the risk of needy people going hungry.

TheDodgyShoesOfDrFoster · 20/09/2017 18:17

I have a direct debit set up to my local food bank. Since I can't know what they are short of in a given week, I'd rather the people who work there are able to choose what is most needed from my monetary donation and buy it themselves.

DeleteOrDecay · 20/09/2017 18:20

And some, a small minority, might be nasty lazy scroungers. But so what; I'd happily take the risk of feeding few scroungers than the risk of needy people going hungry.

Exactly.

RaspberryIce · 20/09/2017 18:26

How come you hang out with all these scroungers with fake bad backs who claim benefits and sneer at working people while working cash in hand and queue at the food bank ptumbi? I don't know anyone like that. How do you come into contact with them?

DeleteOrDecay · 20/09/2017 18:34

She lives next door to them, apparently.

So strange, what with Surrey being such an affluent area. You wouldn't think she would come across so many low class people. It's almost unbelievable.

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 18:38

I don't like Pasta. I could be absolutely brassic and starving and I still wouldn't touch the stuff

Don;t be so daft. You'd eat it every bloody day if you were starving.

seventeenlittleducks · 20/09/2017 18:41

Sorry if this has been asked I did try and read the comments.
Do food banks take pet food?

mygorgeousmilo · 20/09/2017 18:57

Ok so, to clarify again: we give our visitors with a referral a standardised package that relates to (proven) household size. All of it MUST be non-perishable, and MUST be food. That MUST include a pre-designated quota of carbs/dairy/veg/fruit - all dried or tinned. It is weighed and measured out. We then have a completely separate basket/tray of things like OXO cubes, odds and ends like sachets of mustard, spices, salt and pepper, sauce mixes etc. Then completely separately from that, we have a stock of non-food, non-life or death type stuff, and/or food that is just tasty but is not to keep someone alive. Think little boxes of chocolate, tubs of nesquick, coconut water, Dijon mustard, Ella's kitchen snacks, prawn crackers, Dorito dips - all manner of non-essentials. Then we have a whole baby section (we always hope), and a toiletries section (also hope), that only we have access to, and have discretionary powers over. It is not something anyone takes for granted. The 'extras' are so scarce that we weigh up each person's referral circumstances/general situation/kids etc and pop out the back to get some of these precious extras. Giving a young man that's just left care and is living in a hostel some razors, toothpaste, and deodorant is often met with real tears. Giving a lady, with no recourse to public funds that has just given birth to twins and has been dumped by a feckless partner, some maternity towels and a pack of nappies is uplifting and soul-destroying all at once. People can't just dramatically fix their immediate circumstances, with no savings, unexpected circumstances, disaster, nowhere to live, no access to benefits to tide them over, no family to borrow from. There are depths of poverty that I think a certain poster cannot possibly fathom. For many families it is a cycle, they are born into it, and their children are born into it. It's very difficult to "rise above" your circumstances when you've been given no example or education as to how to do that. I live next to an outstanding school and multi-million pound properties. Over the road is a delapidated estate with a school in special measures right in the middle of it. Same borough, same cute kids, same amount of love, very different outcomes for those kids. Do the kids fortunate enough to be born in the fancy houses 200 metres away and by chance of birth be living in the catchment area of the best state school in the borough, have more right to be fed than the ones born to poor parents over the road? They are going to a shit school and are growing up in poverty. Why is it so outrageous to care about them? I honestly don't care if the parents are "on the sick" or however you put it. Having a shitty start in life is so so so so sooooo bloody unfair. Can we not give them some biscuits??? If let's say 5% of foodbank users have lied and convinced their GP or Social Worker or Job Centre for a referral and I give their kid an advent calendar at Christmas, has that parent "won" really? Has it hurt me to give that kid that treat? Why be so bloody mean and cynical? Why punish the poor and keep their kids in the same cycle? I don't get the anti-poor rhetoric, I really don't?! Nations without benefit systems, or the U.K. In the past, rely heavily on charities, people beg in the streets, their children are born in horrific circumstances, and poverty does not just fix itself, does it? People in Victorian times didn't get their shit together pronto when faced with the workhouse did they? They ended up in the workhouse, because of poverty. Poverty is not something people choose, and if they have chosen it, perhaps we can question what has brought them to that point in their lives. It is unavoidable, for THAT person. You think you could avoid it yourself by using your wits and genius, but this is because you only have your upbringing, your education, your frames of reference to refer to in your mind. YOU probably could avoid poverty, because you're not close enough to the edge. You're at a safe distance from it. If I pick you up now, transport you with £20 in your pocket to a sparse council flat in a tower block, remove your education, remove any possibility of borrowing from friends or family, are you telling me you'd go to the library, read books by Richard Branson and Warren Buffet, learn how to rise to the top of the business world, work three jobs, which even with your lack of education you rise up the ranks to become an exec, buy that council house within a year, start doing inspirational speaking tours about how you clawed your way out of poverty, and could do it all again if need be. I know that I myself am very unlikely to experience first hand true poverty, because I have had too many advantages that will stop that slide, although I'd never say never. Open your mind just a fraction! God forbid one these scroungers gets run over whilst out buying fags with your tax money, and needs the an air ambulance. Can they use it? Or should they check people's national insurance number first to make sure they've paid their way?

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